Tried again today to get my 6th and final round of carbo done, and was turned away again (after waiting 4 1/2 hours, but that's another story altogether). My neutrophils are even lower than last time, which is something of an accomplishment I suppose. It's disappointing, but I went in this morning trying to keep my expectations in check, so that I wouldn't be completely gutted if we had to delay further.
Earlier in the week, I spoke with an oncologist who said, where I'm not handling the chemo well but otherwise it seems to have had a therapeutic effect (CA125 now within normal), other doctors might say it was okay to stop after 5 treatments, but she thought we should just see it through.
At the time I agreed with her, but now I'm starting to seriously consider declining the 6th round and calling it a day. I wonder if it would make a huge difference at this point, either way. And it's "only" adjuvant therapy. I'll follow up with my med onc team next week but my gut is saying, that's enough.
I've not seen my family in over a year now, thanks to all this cancer malarkey, and I have a trip booked to go home the first week of April. So that's a factor too. If I get a 6th round and become neutropenic again, or get an infection, I won't be able to go and my heart might actually break. I think hugs from my parents, sisters and brothers, nieces and nephews, might do me more good than the chemo!
Thanks for letting me rant. This group has been an amazing source of support and inspiration for me.
Love to all from Kerry xx