Mother loosing hope with mestatic endometrial.

[Venessabr]

My Mom's oncologist today, told her that survival was grim and short lived with mestatic endometrial cancer. She is loosing hope and has been crying for days after the doctor said that some people live 3 months, some 6. Desperate to hear if any of you know any survivors with this cancer. Just trying to get some words of encouragement to her. She refuses to join any group and in between crying has started making plans for a funeral. At a loss for how to show her she could be in the 15% survival rate.

[vipervictoria]

Please get in touch with your local hospice and any counselling or support services available thru' your hospital. With good care many people survive for a long time with metastatic cancer. If your mum won't go, you could contact them on her behalf.

The hospice can help so much. It's not a place for people who are dying, it's a place that helps people to make the best of their lives with an incurable diagnosis. Also try to get your mother to see her GP, who can help her access local services and maybe prescribe some medication to help her thru'.

It might be possible to get a Marie Curie or MacMillan nurse to visit your mum at home - the GP can help with this. These nurses can help so much with symptom control and the psychological effects. I am so sorry. Vx

[Venessabr in reply to vipervictoria]

Thank you Victoria. Thought about this all night. Woke up this morning telling her that if she focused on the deadlines doctors have placed on her life, she will met the deadlines and that she should focus on living. Hope it made an impact on her but her spirit seemed a bit more lifted. Your advice is terrific. I will certainly look into all your suggestions. Thanks for the information.

[Venessabr in reply to vipervictoria]

Unfortunately we do not have Marie Curie nurse here in the US. She would definitely have to pay out of pocket for that here.

[Venessabr in reply to vipervictoria]

Thanks Vx. It is encouraging to hear that many are living long life's with mestatic.

[Hidden]

Hi there I think Victoria has given you some great advice. May I add that my onc has a patient he told 15 years ago her outlook was grim and she still comes in to him for check ups, it is a different type of cancer but she has survived. Thinking of you

[Venessabr]

Suzuki. That is quite encouraging. I hope she joins that crew of survivors.

[Rebec]

I know that in the States you pay for almost everything, but maybe check your area where you live as there might be some support groups that your mother will want to join.

Where in the States do you live? I know someone who works as a lymphoedema specialist (she gives massages) so she might know of certain help groups.

Keep strong for her as much as for you.

[Venessabr in reply to Rebec]

I live in NYC.

[Rebec in reply to Venessabr]

She lives about an hour north of the city. If you send me, in a private message, your email address, I would forward it to her.

[Catspelle]

Hi I may be a bit late replying to this but how about some online support like this forum? Living rurally I don't get out much and have found online resources so helpful. It also means that I can put down and express what I feel when talking to others who really understand. I realise it's a group nobody wants to join but it is so helpful if you have no access to other resources.

Wishing your mum the best x

[annieH1]

Hi Venessabr,I too have advanced Stage 4 O.C,was given 3 Mets and that was in 2014! I know I've had a lot of treatment but please tell your mum not to think about the "deadline".you definitely need the local hospice involved if possible.They are brilliant for quality of life and in face it has been shown to,prolong life in some cases.I go out and enjoy my time as best I can,just back from the sun.If your mum is still able to be I dependant and pain free then she should go out with friends and family even if it's just for a cup of tea.It will take a long time for the diagnosis to hit home and she is in terrible shock at present.You might think of a 2nd opinion now also.

[Venessabr in reply to annieH1]

Thank you so much Anne. I will show her your text. I think it may contribute to some encouragement. I think she gets scared that she will die and be alone and she does not have many friends. Perhaps I will encourage family to spend more time with her.

[JanePW1965]

Hello Venessabr. My mum was diagnosed with grade 3c ovarian cancer at the end of 2013. She has had debulking surgery and chemo then a second lot of chemo for recurrence. She is battling on and her quality of life is pretty good. She's 79. Be strong for your mum. This site has been great and it is so interesting to compare situations and treatments. Your mum's oncologist sounds a bit of a pessimist. I think they have to be honest and give worst case scenarios. I know things are different with healthcare in the States. Has your mum been offered any treatment? Be persistent and as ViperVictoria says, get in touch with your local hospice and get as much help and guidance as possible to help to decide what to do next. Sending a big hug. Jane X

[Venessabr in reply to JanePW1965]

Thank you Jane. She has been on a trial and getting chemo. I feel the pessimistic spirit too. She had been getting some help from several programs. Unfortunately since she has Medicare instead of Medicaid which is a difference of whether whether or not you've worked in your lifetime, they only give it to you if your condition is improving. Since she did work, the help is not so readily given by the states.