Update

Hi everyone, just an update. My mother inlaw has gone to christies this mornin for the fluid drained from her belly. As u all know, the doctors said there is an 80% chance that they can get rid of this and she has to have chemo 3 times over 9 weeks. My fiance said the cancer had spread in little spots from the ovary when she first went to christies but I didnt know where it had spread to or really what he meant as his sister gave him the message. I found out at the weekend that its spread to the bowel and the liver but its still 80% chance that it can be sorted. I will keep you all updated. Love to you all, Zoe xx

[Whippit]

Dear Zoe, Thanks for your update. It's a worrying time for our families and supporters as there's so little to do except wait and see how it all goes. Your mum-in-law/fiancé's mum is in a really good place and it's amazing how the professionals can give us stuff to get rid of tumours even when they seem to have spread.

Are you also busy with wedding plans? Sometimes it's really good for us to have a special occasion to look forward to and a wedding sounds very exciting.

I wish you well. xxx Annie

[Hidden in reply to Whippit]

Thankyou Annie. I say fiance but he is really down at the minute. He has said that he now doesnt want to get married. Its really hard xx

[Whippit in reply to Hidden]

Oh no, you must be going through a dreadful time. I hope it's just a matter of him being knocked for six with the news about his mum. A diagnosis of cancer can be devastating for relatives and it sounds a bit sexist but so often men find it hard to talk about their feelings. Let's hope you both get through this and are stonger for the experience. It is hard for all of you.

I'm sending loads of love and hugs. xxx Annie

[Hidden in reply to Whippit]

Thanks Annie, it is an awful time with all different kinds of feelings. Sending you love too xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Toby26, my Mum has just been diagnosed too so I know how hard it is.

I know I haven't been giving my usual attention to my husband and 4 children but they have all been fantastic.

I agree with Annie, my Dad is finding it very hard to talk about his feelings too.

I am sure once treatment starts we won't feel quite so lost. Much love. Michele xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Michele, it is hard but its nice to be able to speak to people on here that are going through the same. Keep me updated michele and try to stay strong, you will be in my thoughts and prayers as is everyone else on here. Big hugs xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I too think of these lovely ladies and their families and friends all the time. xx

[Whippit in reply to Hidden]

Even the strongest-seeming relationships can take a knock at this time. I'm definitely in the dog-house with my two daughters. Having cancer sets all sorts of new challenges and changes the landscape so that we become uncomfortable not knowing where our boundaries lie.

Keep posting here. It's good to post to share worries but it also helps other people who are going through the same problems and challenges.

I hope it is resolved soon. xxx love Annie

[Hidden in reply to Whippit]

I know Annie, he snaps a bit sometimes but he is aware he is doing it because he has apologised. Thanks for your support, everyone is great on here xxx

[Solange]

Sorry you're having such a rotten time, Toby. I'm sure your Fiance is just in a state of shock. I know my family were when I was diagnosed - cancer was "something that happens in other families, not ours". Getting married is such a big thing he probably just doesn't feel he could cope with all the arrangements at the moment. I'm sure he'll feel a bit better about things soon. As you say, at least he's aware that he's snapping and apologises. That's shows he cares. I expect it's the Cancer he's snapping at, really, not you. I hope his Mum gets on well and is made more comfortable soon

Keep your chin up, Solange

[Hidden in reply to Solange]

Thankyou Solange, its nice to know that there is support out there from people who I dont know, Zoe xxx

[AnnieMae]

Zoe

So sorry this is having an impact on your relationship with your fiancé. We all deal with major issues in our own way and you don't get more major than cancer! I know my Husband thought he had to stay 'strong' for me and that's an enormous strain. Be patient, as I'm sure you are being and use this site to help you cope. Hopefully you can learn things which will help him cope too. Stay strong.

Hugs and kisses

Annette xxx

[Hidden in reply to AnnieMae]

Thanks Annette, this site is really helping me. You guys are great xxx

[Georgesgirl]

Stay strong chick, I've been the one who's moms had cancer and now unfortunately the patient, i am snappy and say things I probably wouldn't normally. He probably doesn't want to discuss the wedding until his moms better, it's hard on you too, I understand, we're all here for you. T xxx

[Hidden in reply to Georgesgirl]

Thankyou, we would only be getting married in a few years anyway because we both still live with our parents and we are saving for a house. Thanks for your support and i am here for you and everyone else on here too. How are u? xxx

[Georgesgirl in reply to Hidden]

You're welcome, I'm on my fourth line of chemo at the mo, I was diagnosed in 2007, so I do consider myself lucky to be still offered treatment, however hard it is sometimes. Be there for each other, my husband really must be saint to put up with me sometimes lol, but that's what a relationship is. Hope things start looking up soon. T xx