Diagnosed stage four

I was diagnosed with O.C in Sept 2014.I had looked as if I was expecting twins and didn't feel hungry.Turned out the weight gain was due to fluid.The cancer had spread from abdomen to lining of lungs.Was told I had cancer for at least a yr and a half.I'm now finished 6xcycles of chemo (carbo and taxtol) and I am now on Avastin only.No surgery as of yet.The problem I have now is,all,of a sudden my positive ,fighting attitude seems to have vanished and I am constantly thinking of the future.I am not sure where the downer has come into it.Have any of you experienced the same emotion? Thanking you in advance.xxx

12 Replies

  • Morning,

    Just wanted to let you know that you are no alone in your feelings. It's normal/natural and I would challenge anyone going through these situations to not have down moments. It's how we deal with them that's the question. You will ( probably without realising it) pick yourself up and get to a different level of positive ness. It's hard to distract yourself from negative thoughts, but week by week you do it I am always thinking of the future, I probably was before OC, but of course it's highlighted now.

    Can't offer any advice to get you going as each is to their own, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone

    Dawn xx

  • Hi Annie, I subscribe to the IBS Section of Health unlocked and for some reason your post appeared there so I hope you won't mind me responding. I wish you well - you've been through such a lot and I'm not surprised you're on a downer. As I said I'm not responding from personal experience but only to mention that a friend of mine in a similar situation to yours found the work of Martin Brofman who is a healer very helpful in conjunction with her conventional treatment. - He has written a book Anything can be Healed, also a CD goes with it - she found these very helpful - he also runs courses. He had a serious cancer diagnosis in the past so comes to it with that background experience. I know this approach (alongside treatment of course) is not for everyone but my friend said his work 'turned her around' when she hit the depths and just felt like giving up. Wishing you all the best and hoping things improve for you.

  • Well reading through this, I realise you are finished chemo and now you are totally at sea, Great to shut the door the day you leave the chemo unit until you realise you are now on your own again. Well that is the way I felt. I would imagine you will have follow up apts for check ups with the onc or gynae consult. Talk to them about your fears and maybe you should also contact the gynae liason nurse or maggie nurses in the hospital your attended. It is normal to feel down for a bit, try and get out for a walk as the weather is improving now, even go to a nearby cafe for a coffee or tea. You do need some me time. Wishing you well

  • Hello. It cab be really difficult, firstly, when get a diagnosis, and have to face decision, treatments, side effects, etc and then having to keep that positive attitude all the time. It is normal and natural to feel down over the entire damned thing. We can't foresee the future, much as we would like to, so I suppose we have to manage the ups & downs.

    Maria Edgeworth, an Irish writer from the late 1700's/early 1800's put the coping system very well, in the following quote:

    " If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves" from Mademoiselle Panache.

    So sending you best wishes and hope that the Spring sunshine of recent days will help cheer you up.

    Regards, Daisies

  • Hi AnnieH. I think that it's normal to feel low now and again but especially at this stage - you've been busy dealing with the diagnosis and the chemo treatments, suddenly that's stopped. I felt strangely abandoned after my first line chemo ended, even though I had my regular check ups. What helped/helps me? Well, a natural inclination to stick my head in the sand works. As does actual work and watching my way through TV series and films: I now feel that if I want to indulge myself on nonsense, I can, I have no shame and give no excuses. I even introduced my sister and a cousin who came to look after me following chemo treatments, to Battlestar Galactica and they are now hooked! So if you've something you've always wanted to try, go for it, if you can.

    On a more serious note, after a particularly low period I also saw someone at the Maggie's Centre who suggested I do their course on managing stress after diagnosis - I didn't realise, till it was pointed out to me in one of the sessions, how angry I was at the whole thing. I really thought I was ok. Amazingly, realising this helped, I don't know why.

    I also had a couple of holidays with family and friends, it was important to me to give my family good memories as well as enjoy myself. I hope to do more, but it costs money. One important thing from taking time out: I remember waking up and realising with a shock that I'd not thought about my having cancer for half a day! When I mentioned this to my stress management class, there was a gasp of astonishment from the others - and we all talked about how we thought about it every few minutes, which is exhausting. It's always there at the back of my mind of course.

    Daisies gives a quote which suggests mindfulness, which is very popular with the NHS, Maggies and Penny Brohn. It's true, it's helpful to remind ourselves we don't live in the past nor in the future, only now, so we should appreciate the now when we can. Actually, if you haven't yet, you might find Penny Brohn in Bristol is worth checking out, they run courses which are specifically tailored for people with cancer. My oncologist put me forward for one, I decided to give it a go - some of it was stuff I already knew from Maggies, but some was new. It might not suit everyone. But it's a lovely peaceful setting and you get to concentrate on you.

    Hope this gives you some ideas, but as Baxbird says, we each will have our own strategies to deal with this horrible illness. I call it finding my equilibrium.

  • Thank you all for your kind thoughts and lovely replies.Had a wonderful day yesterday.It was a beautiful spring day,mild and sunny.My hubby and I went for a 2km walk in Donerail park and then headed off to cork for a bit of window shopping.Went to Mc D.... For hamburger and fries and fizzy drink.What a total relief not to have to worry about eating healthy food all the time!Im much better today.I suppose sometimes it's easy to ignore O.C as I'm not symptomatic (tg).My Onc nurse said there's free counselling available close enough to where ppl live so I might try that.I also used my O.C to get my hubby to renew our wedding vows,so I suppose it works to our advantage at times! ;-)

    Hope your all going to have a wonderful day.xxx

  • Hi AnnieH1. Can totally relate. Dealing with stress from a different drama in my life at the moment but just know that recognising "it"is the first step - and after that finding the tools to help you through it - talking, friends, family, counselling, meditation, art therapy, singing, mindfulness.....whatever it takes!

    Sounds like you might be a cork lass too?? Love Doneraile Park - I take my 2 kids there several times a year as my dad is from charveville and we visit his home place often.

    I hope you are aware of the Ovacare support group - a phenomenal amount of work is done by these girls and I have personally gotten so much support from the coffee mornings and the patient information days.

    Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing. x

  • Hi MissFitz

    Thanks for your comment.Im from Charleville too.What a small world.

    I'm going to try some therapies soon hopefully.All I have to do is get my act together and do something about it.I've registered for the Ovacare patient day the 11th of April so looking forward to learning more there.

  • Hi. Only today, are the rest of the posts coming through - (not sure if it is my system or not). Delighted to read you are feeling 'somewhat' better - it does take time, and some days we are flying high and then we have a rough landing. But we can only get on with it.

    There is no doubt that getting out in the fresh air for exercise is really uplifting, so I am glad you got for a walk in Doneraile Park.

    It will be lovely to put faces on those who post at the next Patient Day. Like Missfitz, meeting at the coffee mornings & patient days is such a support - as each of us copes in a different manner and everyone is so willing to share and support. I am so glad I connected with OvaCare.

  • Hi Daisies,I'm not getting the posts through it.Today is the first day I have seen posts.Yes looking forward to patient day in the Clarion.Bringing my hubby and sister with me ,who are a great support.Yes the weather makes a huge difference to our moods.Im looking at my daffodils and my bluebells are coming up also.Soon the hard work in the garden will begin but I won't complain this year ,it's great to be here to do it ha ha!

  • AnnieH1 . All of us on this site empathise wit u . It is tough going at times an difficult 2 live in the now . Do try some therapies anything at all that helps u relax an maybe Arc House for some councelling .You wil get your head around it somehow with support from friends an family . Wish I could wave a magic wand . For now enjoy the moment an bless the Gods for this beautiful weather .

  • Hi Connie8,thanks for your words of support.I gave a chat on Limericks 95fm this morning on Ovarian awareness.The journal.ie and the examiner on line and a few other papers picked up the story and printed it online.The headlines are a bit exaggerated though.I never said I had only weeks left to live but I suppose they put their own spin on things. Xxx

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