Anger issues

[Della80]

Hello,

I have a 3 (almost 4) year old son who seems to be very angry. I wouldn’t describe our life as anything particularly out of the ordinary, he’s very loved, he attends preschool, he sees his grandparents and has some lovely little friends. He can become angry about anything and everything, screams at me, hits me, throws everything in sight. It can be triggered by me just saying something completely benign. I know children have tantrums but I’m so confused about whether this is normal or something I should worry about.

[RachelModerator Moderator]

Hello Della80 ,

it is not unusual for children this age to seemingly over react, it can be caused to many things. Often it can be linked to communication. What is your little one's speech like? Does he have many words etc?

It is also easy to take it personally, but usually they save their worst for those closest to them as they have know we love them unconditionally.

Have you ever had chance to look at the Solihull learning we have on our website. It can be really helpful and covers lots of topics and covers ages 0-19 years.

justonenorfolk.nhs.uk/ If you scroll down to the bottom of the page, you can click on the link and enter the code JON70.

I would also recommend giving just one number a call 0300 300 0123, a member of the team can help you unpick it a little more.

Best Wishes,

Rachel

[Della80 in reply to RachelModerator]

Thank you Rachel,

He’s actually always been really quite advanced in his talking so I don’t think it’s about not being able to tell us, but more maybe putting emotions into words. It’s just all feels quite negative, like I’ll say ‘shall we go to the beach today?’ And he’ll instantly scream and say ‘no, I don’t like the beach!’ (He’s enjoyed the beach before). When I ask him to say please, he’ll shout it at am…that sort of thing.

[RachelModerator Moderator in reply to Della80]

Hi Della80 ,

I hope you managed to speak with a member of our team or you have noticed some improvements.

It also sounds a bit obvious, but sharing stories and offering a sort of commentary when your son is experiencing emotions can help him begin to match up how his body is feeling with a word and this will help him start to recognise some of these feelings.

Another good thing at this age is to remove the urge to offer choices, eg, instead of "shall we go to the beach," to "we are going to the beach." It is a very simple change, but removes some of the opportunity for them to respond with an instant negative. You can also add in: "you had lots of fun last time we went to the beach and we are going again today etc."

These sound basic but they can be effective.

Best Wishes, Rachel