3 1/2 year old behaviour

[Staracorn]

HelloWe are entering a new chapter of parenting with our 3 1/2 year old regarding behaviour. He is generally a really lovely well behaved boy but recently he has starting not listening, saying no, and often has big meltdowns if he doesn't get his own way, he can also be quite anti social even with his own grandparents. Is this normal behaviour for this age or should I be more concerned. This doesn't happen all the time just on certain days. He also struggles with sharing but is learning.

[Liezemoderator Moderator]

Dear Staracorn

Although children at age 3 can become less frustrated or angry, all children are different and develop at different ages and stages. It is positive that he is learning with the sharing. I would recommend if your child attends nursery to speak to them regarding how his behaviour is at nursery. It can be still common for children to have meltdowns when they don't get their own way. Keeping a behaviour diary might be able to help you identify triggers/patterns on the days he is displaying these behaviours. Sometimes you will also be able to identify warning signs before and if you can then this is normally a good time to try and use distraction techniques. When meltdowns occur it is a involuntary response to being overwhelmed. Meltdowns can happen suddenly or it can be a result of a build up.

I will include a few links for you to complete. One is called the Norfolk Positive Behaviour strategies and this will talk about meltdowns and what different strategies you can try.

justonenorfolk.nhs.uk/child... Please be aware that we signpost a lot of parents to this so please do not be concerned regarding some of the terms or wording they use in this. These sessions also will talk about emotions etc

there is also the Solihull programme you can complete online and this will also talk about what children are trying to communicate with behaviour and can hopefully help reduce some of these difficult encounters in everyday life.

justonenorfolk.nhs.uk/onlin...

Alternatively you can also contact the Just One Number on 0300 300 0123 if you are concerns and you can talk this through with one of the clinicians.

Hope this has been helpful for you

Best wishes

Liezemoderator

[Staracorn in reply to Liezemoderator]

Thank you so much

[MrsHello Community Ambassador]

Hi, how are things? my children are all older now but I remember at around that age we had a lot of melt downs / overwhelmed behaviour. It was exhausting and sometimes took me by surprise. For us we worked out what were triggering them - a bit like what you have done. We also worked out that the environment they were in eg if it was too noisy, busy or stimulating and also how they were feeling - eg how tired, hungry, or active they had been also had such a big impact. It really helped me get a bit of a handle on managing the meltdowns and how to avoid the public ones - which I found so embarrassing! I can see in the previous reply there is some really good advice especially about speaking to someone as I found that reassuring to chat it through and get a little support about specific things I worried about. Let us know how you get on or if you find anything is really helpful as it’s good to hear what helps . 😊

[Staracorn in reply to MrsHello]

Thank you for your encouraging supportive words

[Vikki-Moderator Moderator]

Hi Staracorn. I'd also recommend the Understanding Your Child: Solihull Approach Course mentioned by Liezemoderator. It really helps to understand what your child may be telling you with certain behaviour. If you find online learning difficult the Early Childhood and Family Service runs the course face to face. It's 2 hours a week for 10 weeks at a venue nearby or over MS Teams video call, and you can self-refer by filling in the online form at bit.ly/ECFSHelp

[Staracorn]

Thank you much appreciated