Have I got OCD?

[Zolta]

I am thinking that my obsession is to think of words over again in my head, and my compulsion is to write the word down on paper and feel relief once this is done and if I forget the word in my head before writing it I experience extreme anxiety. Because it is in my mind it is hidden from society and writing on a notepad when in public is more socially acceptable than to physically tic. I think this stemmed from not being able to feel like I can express myself and not it feels like I gone crazy! Sometimes when out with friends I have a list of up to 30 words in my head, on the plus side this thing has improved my memory! I fear forgetting, and sometimes have to excuse myself to go to the toilet, where I don't need to go to the toilet but write these words on my mobile or on paper in private.

For example... if I was verbally explaining what I have written in the previous paragraph spontaneously, I would remember and think over again of the 'trigger' words. Trigger words being the ones that I feel the need to remember and write down. Such as 'relief, extreme, physically, improve'. It seems any 'normal' person would think, why she she have to do THAT????! I think why do I have to do it? It's stupid! But can't help it...

This is mentally and to some extent, physically exhausting for me and I know it is irrational but can't stop doing this behaviour without emotional upset. Here, 'upset' is another trigger word I would have to remember. It don't feel the need to write the special word down when I express myself in writing, like what I am doing now, but do it when speaking when I have no visible recording of the word, so therefore need to remember and have to write it down. I have words on paper and kept and 'hoarded' these scraps of paper in boxes in the spare room. I have had this writing compulsion for at least 10 years or so and have had enough of it. Learned to live with it for some extent but it getting worse and, as you can imagine, word hoarding on my own bits of paper has filled the spare room... and the attic...

I am about to bring a child into this world in 4 months time and feel so bad about this I don't want to bring my child up with it seeing me writing down random words all over the place. I used to feel so ashamed of doing this behaviour but finally learned to accept it and my fiance is very supportive but I feel it is really now time to get help.

Have I got OCD, how do I get a proper diagnosis, who do I see for help?