I went for my second CBT assessment last week and I was told to keep a diary of any OCD behaviours, thoughts etc. I'm finding it really difficult to keep it going, as the more I write, the more I notice, the more I write, the more I feel depressed. Anyone got any ideas of how to keep up the diary but not feel so bad?
Help with coping with diary writing. - OCD Support
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Help with coping with diary writing.
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gembolatino
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Just try to remember that you're keeping it to get better.
You may be noticing more thoughts and behaviours but know that by bringing them to the surface, into the light, you can see them, tackle them, and get a control over them.
The whole point of this excersise is to get your whole condition, including the bits you push down and forget about, opened up and ready to be tackled head on.
It may make you feel depressed about it, but you just have to try and remember that you're not the only one. There is always someone who has it worse of than you. So if you wash your hands 100 times a day there is me who washes her hands going on 200 times.
You shouldnt feel alone or depressed about this. Just take a deep breath. Look at the entries you've made and think 'Hey, I'm going to beat all of this.'
I hope you understand what I mean.
-Rebecca
Hi Gembolatino,
Rebecca is absolutely right, the exercise although upsetting is really helpful in ensuring we become mindful about where our OCD impacts on us. So it really does not matter if your list becomes 20 pages long because as you go through therapy and learn about not engaging with those thoughts the list will soon shrink incredibly quickly.
This is one of those exercises that is short term annoying but for long term gain.
Keep fighting,
Ashley.
Mrs_StarVolunteer
Hi Gembolatino,
I think that you are taking a very positive step in keeping a diary of your OCD. I did a similar thing a few weeks back, in which I kept a simple tally chart of each time I either had the urge to carry out a compulsion or actually did a compulsion. The results shocked me as they were worse than I had expected. But at least it means that I can get the help I need and I believe that to be the same for you, as it means the professionals get a clearer picture of what you struggle with and how they can help you.
Best of luck,
Star
I have had CBT before (for a different issue) and I am back at it again currently, this time for my OCD Hoarding. I can tell you from my first experience of CBT that the diary keeping gets easier as the treatment progresses. I felt exactly how you are now when I first started, but soon you will go beyond just logging it all to actually doing something about it, and you will start to have the tools you need to feel much better. You do need to see the problem, to be mindful, to be able to crack it. Please be brave at this stage and persevere, it's going to get better xxx
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