I'm new to this forum, and reading some of the posts on here and other people's experiences of OCD has been helpful to me over the last few weeks. So much so that I have summoned the courage to write something myself.
I'm 26 years old and I believe I have been suffering with OCD for about 15 years now, although in truth, I can't ever remember not having it. I've never been diagnosed with it and to this day, I've only ever spoken about this on one occasion. This was about 7 years ago when I finally decided to see my GP, as the anxiety I had as a result of starting a new job at the time caused my compulsions to significantly increase and was really slowing me down at work (not great when you're trying to make a good first impression). However nothing ever came from seeing my GP, and I left the appointment feeling deeply embarrassed and too ashamed to follow it up. In all honesty, this experience has prevented me from talking to anyone about it since.
I feel as though I have gotten worse over the years and I am now constantly feeling drained and exhausted from all the compulsions, rituals and these intense and often disturbing images that seem to play continuously in my mind. I have to repeat pretty much everything that I do, such as picking up objects or walking up/down stairs until I somehow manage to do it on a 'good thought'. Even typing this took an age due to constantly deleting and then having to retype each word. I realise this sounds completely ridiculous, but in my mind this is what I have to do to prevent bad things from happening to me and people that I care about.
Some days used to be more manageable but it has got to the point where every day and everything I do is a real struggle. It has pretty much took control of my life now and apart from going to work, where it is a battle to get through the day, I hardly leave the house. It only ever stops when I manage to fall asleep at night, and this is only after countless times of getting in and out of bed!
I know that I cannot go on living like this and I want to find help but because of my embarrassment at how my visit to the doctor's went before, I will not go back. Was just wondering if there was any other way of getting help? Thank you for listening and for taking the time to read this.
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TK93
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Hi, well done for posting. You can self refer to your local NHS therapy service without going through your GP. Google 'NHS local therapy'. Is it possible for you to see a different GP though? It could make all the difference.
OCD can be exhausting, distressing and overwhelming but there are things that can help such as medication, therapy, mindfulness, books and finding out more about the condition.
I hope you can get the help you need soon. Be kind to yourself.
Hi TK93 - My heart goes out to you for having a bad experience with a doctor while trying to find help for OCD. This happened to me also while trying to find help. I'm sure it has happened to others like us, too. That is heart-wrenching and deeply humiliating. Some doctors know very little about OCD. That can be the really hard part in finding a good fit. It really is worth it to keep trying though, because good doctors who are helpful to OCD patients are out there. Your OCD symptoms sound like normal OCD symptoms I've read that others have, so I hope that helps you to not feel as embarrassed. Most people dealing with OCD do take medication, including myself. It can be very helpful. I wish you the best of luck. Just don't give up. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
So sorry to hear of your struggles! You've found a great place here for help. Sometimes just knowing that there are others like you out there can really give you hope and a sense of belonging.
Die to the fact that there are no OCD specialists in the area I live in, I had several bad experiences with Drs in my search for help. One day, my gp of many years prescribed me some meds and gave me names of self help books to try. I read this book coupled with my meds and it helped tremendously.
I agree for sure you should find another gp that may be able to help you and point you in the right direction 🙂
This is typical OCD and very similar to mine. I'm so sorry that your experience with your GP was so negative. I have to wonder if they would have been so unsympathetic and have refused help for physical problems. I know that GPs are busy, but to suffer for 7 years because a GP didn't know what they were doing is really unacceptable.
I've been know to carry a load of dirty laundry up and down the stairs until it feels 'right' and I'm exhausted! The only positive is that it's good exercise! I pick things up and put them down, I retrace my steps, and so on until I do it on a 'good thought' too.
If possible, go back to your GP or, better still, another at the practice, and tell them you have really bad OCD and want a referral to a Community Mental Health Team. There is some stuff on the Mind website about talking to a GP. Don't take no for an answer.
It may take some while before you get an appointment with the Mental Health Team, but there is a lot you can do in the meanwhile. The GP may offer medication, in the form of an SSRI antidepressant, and these can be very effective, though they take about four week to kick in.
The other thing is to make a start on cognitive behaviour therapy from self help books. The ones I suggest to people are Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and The OCD Workbook because they have helped me, but there are lots available. They can help you to put together some CBT exercises.
It can help just to sit down for a few minutes, let the panic swell and then subside, and if you feel you still feel you need to redo something, at least you will be more likely to feel that you get it 'right'.
Congratulations for taking the plunge to post on this forum. It's clearly taken you a lot of courage, and it's clear that you have it in you to overcome this horrible illness.
Thank you all for your responses and your advice. It has been very helpful to me, as has being able to hear from people who have experienced this themselves.
Thank you.
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