I hate having anxiety. I remember there were times when I didn’t care much of what other people thought about me. Now I feel as though I act strange or a certain way and people will notice 😔. My sisters had COVID and Ofcourse I was exposed to that. They are doing better now but that in return, made all of us super paranoid where as they were paranoid that they can easily re-catch it and I was paranoid of being in stores as I would make people sick even after I’m well! I made a stop to the store and my pastor happen to be there. I said hi from a distance and he came up to me trying to hug me, i immediately panicked and put out my arms to distant myself and said I couldn’t hug him because I’ve been sick in the past . My sister was there with me and reassured me I was just taking precautions but Ofcourse my ocd brain dwelled on it! So much that I had to text him and let him know I wasn’t trying to be rude and that I was excited to see him( very good friend of the family, might I add ) ....I’m just so tired of having social anxiety too! Even though I’ve never really liked being around people before, it’s gotten worse over the years and I hate it!! Maybe it’s because I spent years with depression and kind of isolated myself ... Has anyone experienced or battled with social anxiety?? How do I improve it? Hell I wish I can get rid of it because I feel like I’m not acting normal and people notice it , if that makes sense....
Anxiety: I hate having anxiety. I remember there... - OCD Support
OCD Support
Anxiety
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Having OCD may make you act a bit odd, but most people with OCD go to enormous lengths to appear normal!
It's only right that you should have refused to hug your pastor, or anyone else not in your household. Social distancing is important. The text should have reassured him you were not being ill mannered.
I'm no expert on social anxiety, though I was extremely shy as a teenager. I made a big effort to overcome it, and did pretty well, though I'm still a bit nervous of imposing myself on other people. It sounds as though you're not a natural loner, as you hate your social anxiety.
There is a book called Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness, though I haven't read it so can't say if it's helpful or not. But it is in the highly reputable Overcoming series of self help books, all of which use CBT techniques, so it's likely to be good.