I have dealt with anxiety and paranoia for roughly about 5/6 years now, ranging from minor things like simple aracnaphobia to living in fear. Recently it's been so bad that my mind has created an event that hasn't happened where I harmed someone in a sexual way (this is a big fear that I harm someone in this way and I can't remember it). Now I know this event didn't happen as my parents can assure me that 1.i was too young to know 2.im thinking it occurred 10 years ago and surely I would have remebered it by now and 3.i was never alone with them. I don't know how this happened my friends like to make nonce jokes to me about the way I dress and wondering if my mind has started to believe it I'm scared that this false memory actually happened please help me.
False memory ruining me : I have dealt with... - OCD Support
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False memory ruining me
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It might help if your friends would stop making cruel jokes. I don't suppose they mean to be cruel, and to them I guess it is just banter. But 'banter' can hurt. I know that it's not easy to just get a new set of friends, but perhaps if you could tell them to lay off the 'jokes' as they are upsetting you. No need to tell them why. Just let them know that you don't like it, and that they wouldn't like it if it was done to them.
It's pretty clear nothing happened. And the fact that you are so concerned that it might more or less proves that it couldn't with you. The sort of people that really do sexually abuse children don't care a bit that they are causing harm. They have no conscience, no remorse, no feeling of guilt. They lie, cheat and manipulate to get what they want.
That doesn't sound a bit like you. Some professional help could do a lot for you. An appointment with your doctor and a referral to a psychiatrist or therapist could help.