OCD Update: Hi, 2 years ago I came to this... - OCD Support

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OCD Update

6 years ago•5 Replies

Hi, 2 years ago I came to this platform to ask for help for my OCD. I’ve struggled with OCD and Emetophobia (fear of being sick) since I could remember. So having said that here’s an OCD update:

Around a year after I posted I managed to kick out the OCD with help from my family, boyfriend and the removal of people and places who made me especially unsafe- I had struggled especially with these places and people. Thankfully, my OCD is nearly completely gone with only a few avoidance behaviours and some compulsions on bad days. I’m approaching what I call my OCD day on July 13th marking 2 years since I’ve been sick (if you have OCD you would know that marked days like this one can be very difficult to deal with). I’m glad to say that I’m handling it very well with only a slight bit of anxiousness.

However, on a slightly sadder note, I have realised my OCD was a coping mechanism to what I would discover was intense anxiety. Soon after removing the OCD ‘security’ I found myself defenceless from protecting myself from becoming unwell. In the last few months I have been having very frequent panic attacks, constant nausea and fear and sleeping problems. Sadly I’ve found myself wishing back the days of my OCD and having a level of protection from the idea of being sick.

I’m really finding it difficult to cope with this at the moment. I’m writing this article at past midnight while I’m worrying about being sick even though I know I’m just hungry, haha! This is a great example of how my anxiety is controlling me at the moment, I can’t recognise my natural body reaction from illness. This is not typical of me as I pride myself as being very body aware and cautious in the past- I used to know exactly what was going on in my body all the time and how to fix it. However recently I have been struggling to differentiate between for example being hungry or feeling nauseous. I have already seen a GP about it but they seemed to see a teenage girl being anxious and dusting it under the carpet. If anyone has any experience with this during OCD recovery, I could really use the help. Thank you x.

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lilyyyy210

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5 Replies

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Cellothere6 years ago

Hello Lilyyy210. Firstly I am sooo sorry to hear you are feeling awful and nobody should be sweeping it under the carpet - least of all your GP - but at least you are not. You are acknowledging that you have an illness and even though it is confusing you, you are clear enough to realise that this illness is effecting your ability to function at the moment.

Being hungry can make you feel nauseous and if you are avoiding eating for fear of being sick you've got yourself in a vicious cycle.

It is very hard and counter intuitive, but it is helpful in the longer run not to avoid situations and scary things. Take a few bites of something you like. Baby steps. And be kind to yourself along the way - don't beat yourself up. Observe the difficult feelings. Don't push them down or it's like whackamole! Just observe them. Notice them and recognise them as OCD. Breath and do something that you enjoy. xxxxx

Topix6 years ago

Hi 😊 Firstly well done for seeking help and for getting through all you have already. You're braver than you think. I know what you mean about sometimes feeling that the ocd reduces anxiety but the opposite is true. Mindfulness/meditation might be helpful. There are lots of apps available. I was using Headspace which gave me some good techniques for relaxing and concentrating on breathing etc.

A lady on here recommended Dr. Claire Weekes (there are clips of her talking about anxiety online and also books. The clips might seem old fashioned but she really does explain anxiety very well) I am also currently taking Sertreline and Propranolol but obviously everyone's medication needs/ Dr. s opinions are different.

I also find it helpful to pray and faith is a great comfort to me.

You will find some peace again. Please be kind to yourself.

Gimi446 years ago

Hi Lily, all you've received are very good advices. What you said resonates a lot with my situation since I have OCD/health anxiety. This year it's been extremely difficult for me because I've had real serious health problems that I'm struggling to cope with. Just tomorrow I am going to do a test to confirm whether I might have glaucoma or not(I am 40). So you can imagine my anxiety and frustration. What it works for me is ERP( find It difficult with health anxiety thought), ACT, exercise, nutrition and shelf compassion. And of course meds. What do you think it was the key for your recovery of OCD. Love you guys, let's be strong 💪

lilyyyy210• in reply toGimi446 years ago

Honestly I really can’t be sure. I think I had to force myself not to do it as I was really at my limit and was exhausted that just not doing it really lifted a weight of my shoulders. I spoke to my mum for starters and she helped me by saying that she would hold the responsibility of keeping everyone safe. I remember that night so well as the relief made me so happy. That feeling of happiness that wasn’t temporary for once was what I think was the motivation for me to stop. Also because people now knew about it I felt embarrassed as everyone was watching for it which in a way is bad but it also forced me to stop. I still do suffer with compulsions you can’t necessarily see for example thoughts and avoidance. Overall, I think that telling people around you who will support you is definitely the most essential thing for me anyway. Hope this helps x

Sallyskins6 years ago

I've not experienced this type of OCD but it's a relatively common one. Don't let any doctor brush you under the carpet just because you are a teenager or for any other reason. I remember how I felt as a teenager, and I also remember how at school in the 1970s there were quite a few girls who were clearly mentally ill but it just wasn't taken seriously.

I'm interested in your statement that you are very aware of your body. That is good in so many ways, as we often misinterpret how our body feels. It's often the case that people eat because they are bored, or lonely or fed up, not because they are hungry. It's good to be in touch with your physical feelings.

However, the down side can be that you notice every little niggle and misinterpret it. It can lead to worry about your health when you are perfectly healthy. It can also, as you say, mean that you don't know whether you feel nauseous out of hunger or something else.

Consider medication, if you aren't already taking it, and perhaps ask for a course of CBT. One of the things about OCD is that it can be like a bubble in a carpet that when you flatten in down, it pops up somewhere else. So just as you get over one obsession, another can take its place. Post here whenever you like, and there will be someone to listen to you.

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