Crippled with anxiety this morning again.... scared to go to work incase I don’t come home! I’m terrified I don’t want to leave and even though I know 100% that I won’t but those what ifs drive me mad!! Can ocd really make you feel this way? I’ve txt my husband to tell him to come and get me if I don’t come home just to be sure as I honestly don’t want to leave him.
Had enough!! : Crippled with anxiety this morning... - OCD-UK
I’ve been where you are about 2 years ago. Crying all the way to work, not wanting to go in case I don’t come back. It is a truly horrible feeling but you know that you WILL come back and it will be ok if you can get past this first hurdle of going.
Remember it’s also ok to have time off of work for your mental health as well as your physical health. But if you are going to do that, make sure you do something which will help relieve the anxiety and put you in a better place. You are stronger than the OCD.
It must be awful to feel this way. It's as though one part of your brain knows that you won't leave and you will come home, and another part just won't be convinced. But that's OCD, putting doubts in your head where there is no reason for them.
It really can make you feel this way. Do they know at your place of work about this problem? If it's possible to tell them, then do.
If there is no problem with your doing your job when you get there, and you enjoy it, then do try to go in as usual. It can be difficult to get back into work if you have left, and being at home too much could lead to agoraphobia and being unable to get out at all. Only give up work if you're really not coping with it.
Remember OCD is always telling people they might do things that they would never do. It tells people who love their children and would never harm them that they might do so. It thrives on doubt, and making you doubt your own mind. It likes to attack you using the very things that matter most to you, in your case your relationship with your husband. That fact in itself means your marriage is too important to you to walk out of.
I don't know if some kind of CBT could be helpful here. I can't prescribe for you, of course, but it might involve going out and staying out for a set number of hours, and proving to yourself that you actually do go back home. I'm not saying CBT is easy, but it is effective.
Anxiety and OCD etc will be ever present until you gain an understanding that is behind all human behaviour.
There is a new understanding that teaches people that our experience is from the inside out and what happens to us from the outside world is not what causes our feelings that are scary
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