Hi guys, just wanting some support rly. For the last few months my ocd has been zoning in on my relationship, specifically things i’ve done wrong or times i’ve betrayed my partner’s trust, normally personal things i’ve shared with others (to be honest i’ve been a pretty rubbish girlfriend, don’t deserve my partner in the slightest). Constantly confessing things and needing reassurance that he forgives and loves me. I’m now feeling guilty about things i’m not sure i’ve even said; i’m confessing things i’m pretty sure i haven’t done as I feel like I need to be punished just on the off chance I did do it. I live in constant fear of remembering something i’ve done wrong. Making my life and my partner’s life hell tbh and I don’t know how to stop 😔 anyone been through anything similar?
Confessing: Hi guys, just wanting some support... - OCD Support
OCD Support
Confessing
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This is quite a well known type of OCD, the apparent need to blurt out things you've done and confess. There are even cases where people are afraid that they might confess to things they know they haven't done. It's not one I have had myself, but I recognize the doubting part of it. It can make you think you've done things you know you haven't done, and imagine that you feel things you know you don't feel.
I don't know that you've been a rubbish girlfriend. It sounds to me that it's a feeling of worthlessness telling you that, even if it isn't true. I know how it feels to have low self-esteem, and to assume that everyone thinks badly of you. I'm sure that isn't true.
Everyone does things they don't feel too good about, or regret. The thing is to learn from them, move on and not repeat them. But it doesn't sound like you have much to feel guilty about. It's not clear what you mean by betraying your partner's trust, but it doesn't sound like anything serious.
Although this is OCD, some help with your self-esteem could be beneficial, perhaps a course or a book. Meanwhile don't demand reassurance that your partner loves and forgives you. The more you get it the more you will feel you want it. Don't ruminate on your supposed 'guilt' more than you can help. I'm sure there's no need for it!
I am going through this EXACT same thing! For the last 3 weeks, almost non Stop. With my husband, boss, friends. It's already damaging some of those relationships. I feel insane, but if I don't confess whatever comes to my mind, I experience suffocating, incapacitating anxiety until I do. And the moment I think I have relief, another thought shortly comes to take the last ones place and the cycle continues. Have you found any help with this?
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