Hi all. I’m A_Peaceful_Mind, although my mind is very unpeaceful, I thought I would stick with a positive Username!😄. Also wishful thinking did play a part in my Username choosing! 😄. I’ve just been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder after dealing with it for 9 years. I went so long undiagnosed as I was too scared to open up about my intrusive thoughts due to being petrified of my Children being taken away from me. I’m all new to this and just thought I would say Hello and any advice or story shared would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and I look forward to your replies.
Dealing With Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and... - OCD Support
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Dealing With Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Parenthood.
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A_Peaceful_Mind
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Hi, I just joined a few days ago after eventually having a telephone conversation with a therapist who seems to recommendation I have therapy for OCD too, unfortunately there's a 12 month waiting list as she feels I need more advanced therapy. I've lived with it for as long as I can remember but I just thought my obsessive thoughts were me just being a bad person or crazy. I'd heard about OCD but I thought that was just compulsions which I also have, I didn't realise they were your thoughts too. At the moment I don't feel there is any bitterness for me as I have been like this my whole life, this is me, this is who I am, I'm 43. Joining this group has made me realise that I'm not the only person like this though. I hope you find comfort on here x
Thank you so much for your reply. I had no idea either that OCD is so much more than just compulsive behaviours. I honestly thought that I just needed putting in a stray jacket and the key thrown away! I had already made the decision that I was just a lost cause and beyond help. Many of times I’ve even thought of ending my own life just so I didn’t hurt other people because that’s the thoughts I have to deal with and they would petrify me so much! I’m just glad that now I have opened up about my intrusive thoughts and there is so many other people out there that is going through the exact same thing, some people even worse. Xxx
Would you mind if I asked for an example of what sort of thoughts you have? X
I have loads of different horrible thoughts and different triggers. One though is seeing a knife on the side and then having the thought of stabbing someone. Sounds horrible I know and for ages I have felt like such a terrible person and awful person! Not knowing why I’m having the thoughts I do! Xxx
My intrusive thoughts focused solely on knives also. I can't tell you why, and it happens maybe once or twice every couple years. But when it hits, it's bad.
Thank you for your reply lovely. It is an awful thing to have to deal with but it will definitely not defeat us!
Definitely not. It eventually subsides but it's definitely not an easy thing to ride out. Lol
I can't go to bed if I could see a pair of scissors or a knife incase I stab my children in my sleep, I have to remove them from the room. I can't have Cartier bags upstairs incase someone put one on their head and suffocated, how crazy is that?
Not crazy at all lovely. Unfortunately this is a part of the disorder that we have to cope with. It honestly does feel like a whole weight lifted off of my shoulders opening up!
Good to have you join us. I too didn't know I had OCD for several years. I thought I must be uniquely weird. Then I read about my symptoms in a book and realized what it was. I had a really useless 'therapist' who hadn't bothered to tell me. I didn't half have a go at him!
It must have been horrible being afraid of having your children taken off you. As I'm sure you know, people with OCD are actually safe to be around, because we are so afraid of harming other people. And mental health services know this, and know that your children are safe with you.
Do read up on OCD. There are quite a few helpful books about it, which suggest ways you can overcome it with CBT. They can supplement treatment from a therapist, or introduce you to things you can do yourself if you have to wait for treatment.
Thank you so much for your reply lovely! It must have been horrible for you to have put faith in a Healthcare Professional who failed to diagnose you! Very frustrating! But at least now you’re on the right road to recovery! 😄. I also hope you have a much better Therapist! It was extremely scary. My Children are what make me the person I am today...minus the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder! (I’m still yet to figure out why I have that!). My Children are my safety blanket, my comfort zone, they’re my light on my dark days, they always manage to make me smile even when smiling seems so difficult! The thought of having all of that taken away from me was distressing itself! Since opening up though and being reassured, I feel like a whole weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, I feel like I can breath that little bit easier! I believe I am suppose to be starting CBT but I haven’t yet had a date for it. I hope you’re coping well lovely? Xxx
That is really nice, and it's great that you have such a great relationship with your children! It's quite a common fear with parents who have OCD, that they may lose their children, but OCD therapists know that OCD doesn't make you a bad parent and that you children are safe with you.
I have had some very good therapists since the one who refused to tell me I had OCD. He sat there session after session, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and I really ran out of things to say to him! Once I had CBT, things began to improve.
Nobody really knows why some people develop OCD, but you're right, it isn't the whole of who you are. Do let us on this forum know how you get on with CBT. Sally x x x
I definitely will keep you guys updated on my journey lovely. Thank you so much for your message and friendliness. Xxx
Love your pic it is very beautiful
Thank you so much! Xxx
Hey welcome to the group.
I too have lived with OCD for many many years, before getting the right help, and that involved me going to see a therapist and saying look this is what I have.....He congratulated me and said you've made the first step in helping yourself, I sat there all huffy and said "well no body else figured it out"
I deal with multiple intrusive thoughts, the more hurtful they are the more my OCD is happy.
My last one that's getting to me, although I'm almost there!!! Is my partner is ugly!!! I can't believe I actually wrote that down like that!!! Reality he's really handsome, and I would NEVER EVER think of anyone as ugly, the only ugly thing in my life is OCD. Well that made me cry!!! It's painful but I'll never stop fighting.
Last of all, I have had long periods of time when my OCD is at bay, and I can live without anxiety.
Welcome. ☺️
Thank you so much for your message lovely. It definitely isn’t the easiest of things to live with but we definitely do have to fight it! I think it’s almost like having Tourettes, having no control over your thoughts but without saying them out loud. We keep it in. Don’t let it get to you lovely. We can’t control our thoughts and those thoughts aren’t put true thoughts either. They’re fake! Xxx
You were really brave to finally seek help. I feel as though we have a lot in common. I also have intrusive thoughts towards my children and it is like a living hell. I also was/am petrified of my kids being take away from me so to get help was a really scary thing to do....but I had to do it for them, so I knew if they were safe and how I could live with this and still be a good mum. I ha e to say therapy and meds combined really helped thoughI still get dark moments they are just that maybe and hour or so every few weeks rather than constant. I hope you manage to see a therapist before 12months if they offer you the group intensive therapy I would definitely take that up too....it helped immensely x
Thank you so much lovely. I’m already awaiting my appointment letter in the post for CBT. Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel seems so far away though! 😢. I hope you’re doing well lovely? Xxx
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