hello, I am new to this support, and wanted to introduce myself.
I had severe ocd for a long time, and finally got help at the anxiett disorders center in Hartford about 2 years ago. I was not able to function anymore and knew it was time to get treatment. it was hard but I worked very hard to get better, and I did overcome it.
however, some symptoms still try to creep back from time to time, and I try my best to resist, but OCD will always be a part of me.
I am currently in my first adult real relationship with someone that I love, and I find my ocd and obsessive thoughts and self doubt are hindering my happiness and the quality of my relationship. I doubt whether I love him and obsess over it daily, even though I know in my heart I am madly in love with him. I torture myself and constantly seen reassurance that he loves me too. I feel so alone and crazy, and I dont want my anxiety to ruin my relationship. he is so understanding and supportive, but I feel bad for putting him through this, and I worry he will eventually get sick of me. does anyone else feel this way, or am I truly alone?
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jessie_lopresti
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Maybe you should consider CBT therapy - a one to one session with a qualified therapist could help you have a different perception of the intrusive obsessions. CBT and medication , normally antidepressants or antianxiety are the usually prescribed treatment. Gradually it will help you let them thoughts go without paying much attention, which is mandatory if you want to recover.
Good for you! Getting back to functioning again is a real achievement and I know how hard it is. But the thing about OCD that really sucks is that it likes to attack you just where something matters most to you, like your children or your partner.
Try to remember that OCD has attacked you here is because your relationship matters such a lot to you. If it didn't matter, and you didn't love him, OCD would attack you somewhere else. If that makes sense.
It is vile the way OCD likes to put doubts in our heads, and perhaps a short top up course of CBT could help. It sounds as though your partner is with you because he loves you and you matter to him, and is in it for the long haul. Try not to demand reassurance too often or too much, as it just feeds the OCD, and makes you doubt the more.
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