I just keep asking myself why are we all like this? Why why why? Did I do something wrong? Was it the MMR or Could this new sad information be an inherited link to why?
I have anxiety,4 children with intrusive OCD's... - OCD Support
OCD Support
I have anxiety,4 children with intrusive OCD's I have just found out my mother was the result of rape. Inherited mental health from rapist?
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Hi Sammy-JoJo,
At the moment we don't know exactly what causes OCD, whilst some think it is genetics, there are many specialists who don't believe that it can be inherited. For example, we have seen twins, one with OCD, the other with no anxiety problems at all.
As a sufferer myself I would urge you not to focus on the 'why' question, mainly because it is unhelpful and not something we may ever know. Instead a better question is 'what', what can you do to overcome it?
The great news is that OCD can be treated, people can and do overcome OCD, the key is to working to access resources from books to therapy to help you do that. Break Free from OCD is a great book to start with, and then of course asking your GP for CBT is where you need to start.
I wish you well with your recovery progress.
Kind regards,
Ashley
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Thank you Ashley for replying, i have had cbt and 2 of my children have but after my child took an overdose we was told we needed different help we was referred but never received an appointment and now I feel no one actually cares, I find everything is a fight just to even see the doctor! I just don't have the energy for this and what makes things worse is I have problem with going out and using my phone, I keep putting everything off to tomorrow which of course never comes. I will order the book you mentioned as I have to try to resolve these problems as my older son has punched my daughter in the face, stole my car and crashed into a neighbours car, totally draining me of money and stressed trying to find a job that I know he won't be able to even cope with. He has intrusive thoughts he doesn't sleep and now has started smoking weed before bed so he can sleep. He's doctor doesn't seem that bothered ! Sorry waffle on. Sam x
Hi Sammy,
i really feel for you. I am a third generation OCD (intrusive thoughts mainly -for me personally)sufferer and now wondering whether my son is overtime developing it. I think some of us are born with a predisposition to it, it might never be triggered, but hormones, life changes, crisis can certainly trigger it. I think it's just as biological/chemical disorder illness as any other illness, e.g Cancer. As to why? I would say it's sad reality but nonetheless part of being human, our bodies aren't perfect and neither are the circumstances life can bring. I have been on medication since i was 18 and i am 35 now. As long as i don't stop my meds (prozac,quetiapine)(like i have in the past) it does mean i have a much better quality of life. It does not cure it by any means but it's a Massive help. i can function much more than if i was without it.
In answer to your question You have done nothing wrong, it's not your fault, it's not any person's fault. I think if you love your kids which you do and try to get the help where you can and Pray then you can do no more other than what you are doing. I believe your kids need a lot more help from the nhs than they are giving and the sooner the better, it will help bring freedom so much to the kids to have the knowledge that it's not their fault,it is an illness and they are not alone and they can and will feel so much better with the right help, love/CBT/meds and live a good quality of life! The best thing the psychiatrist told me was that i was suffering a disorder and i was not alone, i was not my ocd thoughts and there was many others suffering the same thing. It was music to my ears and a weight off my back! I hope that helps
regards x
Thank you Trusty, I feel encouraged to push for help by your words, I just need the strength to do this or a stern friend to help me. can I ask you a question please when we went to the doctors just over a year ago and the doctor realised my son had intrusive thoughts the doctor looked up and said are they sexual !
Hi love, sorry for late reply. Sexual thoughts are a very common part of intrusive thoughts in OCD, worried you might be a peodophile, rapist, flasher, murderer, etc , unfortunately the thoughts often play on our WORST fears. Certainly if your son's thoughts were sexual, he does not need to fear they are who he is but JUST intrusive thoughts that he does NOT want that he needs HELP to deal with them, I hope that helps, feel free to keep asking questions.
Thanks again trusty, this looks pretty long on my phone so hoping This won't suck the life out of ya, ok we my son & I haven't really spoken about what he's thoughts actually are , should I? As i did bring the subject up a couple of weeks ago much to he's annoyance he said they have gone away and not to talk about it as they will come back, yet he still rushes to get to bed when he is sleepy because if he's not sleepy he is unusual tossing fidgeting huffing frustrated even wild with anger at times then cries ,he said a month ago he had been calling the bad sprits! !!!What on earth was he thinking as I'm terrified of anything like this just incase and after hearing breathing close to my ear a couple of times in bed it freaked me out I'm on sertraline now thank GOD oh and different quack ...phew they are very good for me) crikey so much to say (anxiety waffle) Prozac prescribed for son just before he was 18 but made me frightened he was going to try and end it all. He said he's life was too much he couldn't cope and felt like he wasn't part of the family anymore, he felt he was behind a barrier/ force field or bubble. He stopped after 2 weeks! Should he have given them more time? Do you think your son has been triggered? And are you frightened what the future holds for him? Maybe at the back in the darkest part of my mind I worry he may do something bad! ( just a though & that don't mean nothing but makes me feel so unloyal even thinking it) is there other meds that can be tried? Surly he needs a relaxant for bedtime. Regards Sam x
Sorry for late reply again. I think only if your son wants to talk, then encourage it. I think that telling him before hand that there will be no judgement at all regardless of anything he says, and to be reassured of your unconditional love would be a good idea. Its true sometimes talking about it makes things worse but not always, sometimes talking about it makes things better. The symptoms you are describing are OCD with severe depression. I take prozac and a mood stabilizer called Quetipine it's also known as an anti psychotic but treats bipolar, depression and is licensed for treatment with ocd. These two meds together have made it possible to have a normal life and keep busy. I too have had severe depression with it ocd. Keeping busy is important. Dont worry your son wont act on his thoughts but it sounds like he is greatly suffering. If he wants to ask me any questions i would be glad to help. Also sign up to ocd uk on their forums are all manner of people struggling with bizarre scary unwanted thoughts, it is typical of OCD. Here he will realise he is suffering with an illness like others, he is not alone or a weirdo or a danger. His mind is just not working properly, like mine doesnt. I strongly recommend re visiting a psychiatrist for meds and asking for secondary mental health care and getting on a list to see a good clinical psycologist. That is what helps me. I think OCD can be like a bully in your head, like another voice but not audible. (might explain his talk of spirits, although religious ocd is very common) I find OCD shares many similarities with other mental illnesses. Help is available for your son, things can and will get better for him, keep telling him so, tell him you are with him all the way. This is not allowed to ruin his life. !
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