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I feel I have no control

Hi long time no blog. I have been reading all the blogs but have felt I have nothing to say but moan and I don't want to do that but I feel that my life is out of my control. Went to see the doc last week and had the news that the muscles in my shoulder are destroyed and I need a new should to go with the other one and both hips. Been out of work for a year now and spend my day reading, writing, watching films and playing computer games. At the age of 61 the world is passing me bye. My ESA money runs out in jan and most of my savings so I am going to find it hard to make ends meet. I am waiting for my DLA to see if I am going to get a higher rate, fat chance, bee turned down before. Had some help with the forms this time so fingers crossed. On the up side I have done all my Xmas shopping and not going to have to cook this year, going down the pub for Xmas dinner. I was so positive when at work, my own man. Now I have no control over the least little thing. Roll on 2013 I think not. Sorry to be so depressing, on the bright side my cat still loves me and greets me when I get up. Who says a mans best friend is his dog, my cat jess is mine.

8 Replies

You are not alone you know we are here as well. I know that feeling of helplesness,Having some it myself. If you have had help filling in the forms,we my friend you won't have any trouble getting it. It is sad all the worrying we do to get what is rightly ours.

Like you i have done my shopping and i have wrapped them up and this morning i got my stamps from the post office at last years prices. Get your esa forms out as proof that your entitled to it then you can have 36 stamps at last years price.It doesn't matter how you have them eg; 24first class and 12 second class or 36 of one or the other.



Sorry to hear that you are not feeling too good, and I agree with Sylvi this site is good for letting off steam, someone will always be reading no matter what time of day or night. I hope your money comes through for you.

Good to hear of another cat lover, mine always sleeps with me if I lie down during the day and at night he sleeps at the bottom of the bed on his blanket, when he deigns to stay in. He loves to terrorise the neighbourhood cats but runs a mile when they turn on him!

Take care. xx


Don't ever worry about writting how you feel, the people on this site will be there though the good or bad days, They have given me so much good advice and kept my spirits up over the past 3 months,I have only been out of work now for the past 5months due to the RA so i know how you feel, I love all animals, used to have two cats myself, but i now have a dog which we got from the dogs trust

Take care and hope you get what you are entitled to X


I'm sorry to hear about your shoulder, not nice news. Hope they don't make you wait to long to get it done, as hopefully that should help you get out and about a bit more. It is scary how close to the edge things can get so quickly, but do keep on pushing re DLA & fingers crossed that it will go through this time and 2013 will be an improvement for you. Polly


Poor you Beeper - nothing to add to what others have said really but a lot of sympathy from me too. Tilda xx


Thanks to you all for all you kind words. If I can give any words of wisdom in the future I will. Love you all.


Sympathy from me too. Having worked all my life, I have really gone downhill in the last couple of years when I realised that the outlook was limited. It does not help that I live in a rural village, have no transport, and am reliant on benefits which do not allow me to pay the mortgage. Fortunately my elderly father helps me, as does my son, but although it's family aide, it makes me feel that I am reliant on charity. I guess that maybe it's my fault for having been independent all my life, and now I just can't manage, but it does not help me feel better. I feel that I live my life through the eyes of others

Ally x


Hi Beeper, sorry your feeling low at the moment. Please don't feel you have to keep it all to yourself. I felt exactly as you did and spent weeks reading the blogs until one day I felt so fed up and sorry for myself that I finally posted and was overwhelmed with the loving support I got in return. Didn't stop the pain, the limitations or the fear of what the future holds but I felt cared about and not nearly so alone. Hope things start looking up for you soon x


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