Got a call this morning to say my first rhuemi appt is next thursday and instead of feeling happy I burst into tears simply because Im terrified. I dont have the best experience of hospitals after my father died from coronary heart disease and spent most of his life in hopsitals i hate them.
Im just so worried about taking drugs and the long term effects they will have on my body from mood swings to other effects. Reading other peoples blogs is actually scaring me more because some of the pain people go through sounds awful. Yes I do suffer with flare ups but their not that often and dont last long. But the truth is i need a baseline treatment my RA factor is 98 and disease factor is 54 so something needs to be done.
At the moment im on Deflazacort and it sent my moods haywire which isnt helping and I started my period today!
I just feel so lost and scared and just want to scream and cry I dont want to live like this.
On a happier note my cousin is coming from london the weather is amazing 41 degrees and we're going to the beach later so will try and look at the posotives !thanks for listening.