I'm smiling - at last!

[PJ68]

I just wanted to update you all on my progress!

I was so depressed the last time I came on here, I have had time to evaluate my condition, my job, my health and my life - and now have found a calmness and peace that has enabled me to see things clearly!

I am working part time, 18 hours a week, and the first few days I felt so lost and lonely. I even cried a bit too.

But now, I come home and have some lunch, watch a bit of TV, put my feet up - very important! and then I clean my house, a room a day, and every other day I do some excerise. I make time for my friends and feel good about myself for the first time in ages.

Whats more, I am about to enrol at college and take a Book keeping course and may be work from home.

I realise now that the boss at work has no concept of compassion or understanding - it is his problem, not mine - I can see that now. I do my job, the best I can, and what isn't done sits in my tray until the next day. The other staff are wonderful, and although I don't see them much at work, we text eachother and meet up.

For now my job pays the bills, and thats enough for me. I have a future now and I intend to grab it with both misshapen hands (!!!) and love my life!

I do hope everyone is feeling good at the moment!

Take care and thank you for all your support and kind words over the last 6 months,

Pen xx

[Hidden]

Oh thats so so wonderful Pen! thats made my night

When you say you found the 'calmness and peace' I like that!

I'm very good to, like you, things are starting to fit into place and I'm looking forward to the future again.

I'm just bloomin delighted for you!! xx

[PJ68 in reply to Hidden]

thank you xx

[sylvi]

Pen,its lovely when some one comes on here with good news. Enjoy your freedom that you have been given. sylvi.xx

[Hidden]

delighted to hear from you Pen and your peace of mind gives me hope. How did you get to that place?

I like the idea of a room at a time, might do that this weekend.

[PJ68 in reply to Hidden]

Happy cleaning!!!

Music helps too!!!

[Hidden]

Pen you are brilliant! Basically it's all about pacing yourself. Reading your blog reminds me of how lucky I am to be self employed because I do as you do and take each day as it comes, clean a bit, work some, eat something, catch up with friends or on come on here, walk the dog, work more and have a snooze if I need one.

I'm so lucky to be able to suit myself - although we are really skint as I'm not earning a bean currently. Whenever I think about applying for a job to earn something read the job description and panic. I don't think I could bear to be treated badly by a demanding boss now I have RA - especially having been my own boss for so long. I'd rather struggle on with hardly a bean and not go on fancy holidays than have to cope with the demands of others. Well done for getting your life so sorted out and managing your RA. Tilda xxxx

[Hidden]

Pleased you are feeling better in yourself, and you are sounding so positive and enjoying life more xx

[sciqueen]

Great news,

Glad it all worked out for the best in the end. Life is what we make of it!

Take care Jx

[elrose]

This is a lovely blog and offers a glimpse of sun to others who may recognise the issues you describe. I havent yet found the balance but will keep striving for it. Linda x

[PJ68]

Thank you everyone!

Firstly, I would have never found peace and calmness if it weren't for the support of all of you who took the time to reply to my other blogs - your comments, support and advice have been AMAZING - truly, I mean that from the bottom of my heart!

I was told that I had to be selfish - a really hard thing for me to do as I look after everyone!! - but I took a long look at myself, my hands, the fact I struggled to walk, pick up a mug of tea, chop an onion etc. and decided that enough was enough - I wasn't going to beat my boss, but I sure wasn't going to let him beat me - so I do my 3 hours and 40 mins - ensuring that I do all my jobs, and then I come home and rest,do chores etc -

Two weeks on and I am happy, relaxed and actually have not had a flare for 3 weeks - it is a wonderful feeling, although I know they will come back, I am ready to deal with them!

Take care, and I am glad that I have touched your lives - I feel blessed that I have been able too through all my pain - heres to 4 weeks of work and then................ 6 weeks holiday!!!!

Love Pen xx