Cece's blog raises such good points regarding the "there" in life. And then on Easter Sunday, both of us not wanting to get up, we decide to have a conversation about the future of the farm! Sometimes you just can't help these things, neither of us are ones for saying "we'll talk about this later" because I am like a little terrior once I get me teeth into sometime I have to rag it until it's conclusion. In the case of the rat or a rabbit of course.... well say no more.
Any way. I always digress into the surreal.... we were talking about "the farm" Mr Calfy is 4th generation of the family here and stepson Ben "jammin" we dearly hope will be the 5th, but it looks dodgy, farming changes a lot quicker than the drugs on a Ra care plan.
We have decided to bring in the "people in the know" it will cost a pretty penny so it's big decision to get a full farm appraisal, look at the books look at the options and make an informed decision on the future. Most farmers just stick their heads up a cows botty and carry on. There are loads of dairy farmers carrying on just because they know no different and won't stop until the Bank tells them to because the money has run out.
So what's this got to do with RA? I hear some people ask???
Well the one big question will be my input in all this. What can I do? What can Mr Calfy rely on me being able to do? Ummmm, errrrrr, weeeeellll, I... it's like this..... errrr . ???
I say to him, eventually, after a lot of ummmming and ahhhhing. Well I am feeling a lot better than I was 5 months ago. I can cock my leg over the hurdles a lot better and my hands aren't puffy, but I still get stiffy old toes and feet, and sometimes my ankles ache if I stand too long or if I walk too much over roughy old ground my hips give me hell and tell me to stop. I can sit on my bum and do the accounts, but too much keyboard work makes my wrists ache and fingers tingle.....work it out for yourself!! Yes, he says, so you are definitely getting better?
So we then had a long conversation about remission, flares, drug failures, DMARDS Anti-tnfs and biologics. When he started to yawn I decided it was time to get up!! I honestly thought, he thought, I was making it up as I went along. Bless him, how can I say when he can't understand?
So, what do we do now?? HAPPY BLOOMING EASTER....
10 Replies
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Hi Julie, hope things on the farm aren't that bad would be such a shame to let it go, but I know what you mean you may be feeling better now but you still have RA and could flare at any time,sorry, So of course you still need to, whats that word again?? PACE!! that's it, pace yourself.
Farming must be such hard work, can't imagine how you cope now. he will get to understand I know I've been there, I think he's probably still at the "you will get better" stage, bless him, they try so hard to understand.
Take care
mand xx
Forgot to ask, who's in the pic?
mand xx
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Ben my stepson and heir to the throne!
Hi Julie,
Well done for making a decision to take action! Doing nothing just causes anxiety and a vicious cycle of denial, doing nothing, anxiety etc. This way you have time and reality on your side and that means that you have options - so I applaud the restraint from heads up cows bottoms and lack of rose tinted glasses
Partners, spouses, families go through a similar process of shock, denial, disbelief and grief to us (but obv without the attendant disease processes) and can feel helpless and guilty that they can't do more or make us better - so he's coming to terms with it too. I'm glad you have this close relationship
Cece x
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Thanks Cece, that's how I feel,or perhaps that's how I am too, pragmatic, wanting to see the future ahead of us, whilst Mr Calfy is a typical farmer and justs carries on like he's always done. Bless...
Maybe you should wait a while, as you are feeling better now there is nothing to say that this is the best it will get. There are so many new treatments for RA and new ones coming out all the time that it is only a matter of finding the correct medication or combination to arrest the progression of this disease for you. I feel a lot different now about my life & lifestyle than I did a year ago. Certainly I have made changes to many to mention. I am convinced that if you are on the correct combination of meds, flares will be a thing of the past. This is a controlable disease for many people that have been diagnosed in the last few years. Age & energy levels slow us down anyway, so maybe you may have had to take a less active role as time went on. I am not saying that we don't have to look at our lives seriously with this condition, but with some adjustments, most people can continue to live a very active life. I think take your time making any radical decisions. RA used to take up 75% of my thoughts, now its down to about 15%. I think that says a lot. xx
Gina, this certainly made me stop and think.... you could be right,but then that's the problem, unfortunately things have to be planned out.... it's a difficult one.. Thanks x
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The viability of the farm is one issue - the RA another. Being realistic about your potential input seems sensible - you need them not to be relying on you, that means anything that you can do is a bonus You can be the moral support and creative ideas lady. Farm shop? Arts and Crafts venue? If you have space in an outbuilding or barn there are always groups looking for a space to hire. I'm not suggesting that you start a whole you business, just think creatively about what is possible. Yoga and meditation groups and arts classes certainly enjoy using a rural setting. You may be able to get some funding locally to develop this - it's worth exploring it with Business Link, Arts Council etc.
Hi My lovely Chicken Chaser, you are going through the same sort of thing as us trying to plan for the future, what ifs??????? I asked the other week if I couldn't go back to work would we be on the street, hubs looked at me and said no......... but you may be inthe garden or if we stretch it the porch. Hubs has always had a plan to work until he was 65 and me 60 which is another 3 years for me so have I ruined the dream for him, we haven't got a farm that has been within the family for so many generation s as you, which is something Mr Calfy must be worying at, and if stepson not so keen on being a farmer must be a concern. when I read Cece's reply to you I thought her ideas were great here in Stratford on Avon we have loads of farms that are renting out their barns and sheds for all sorts of things from Pilates studios to a tattoo parlour.
A few years ago we stayed at a hotel that had a pottery painting room, I went along and lost 4 hours of my life I have never felt so relaxed painting a plain clay cat to look like our little black and white cat called Beau. I asked this lady how she came to do this as a business and she had experienced the painting side, outlay was not too bad and she was in profit after the first year. I have kept thinking that I would love to open something like that here.
I do hope you and Mr Calfy can work things out, keep talking to him get him to read the panphlet. keep blogging we are all here for each other.
Best wishes and a gentle hug
Tricia x
wait til you are better.. but get those figures you are so practical and sensible
.. V sad local farmer in my local paper.. tragic farm accident.. it was actuallY suicide.. contacts.. my dear bro.. amd family friends knew him from young farmers.. he had debt and court judgements.. he had been swapping cattle tags.. some had ...TB.. some did not... such a waste.. he would have at worst been fined.. though he was in debt left wife and two young kids.... such a waste !!
Farming,. is. tough .. hard work.. feed costs up.. prices for meat down!! , its hard but it is a lovely life.. my city slicker cousin ex false nails and sunbed.. has been busy lambing this year(going out with a farmers son) good on her i say... my dad used to to spend 10./12 hours days driviing the combine harvester.. that has killed and injured many people.. farming.. much more dangerous than people realise.. miss the country life... my parents however.. look at of their kitchen window at other peoples fields of cattle and sheep..., the sheep get every were in the forsesr the roam virtually free.. some old forester rights>>>?.. they mow my parents paddock sep to the their house.. they jump the walls.. but leave the dock leaves.. fussy buggers..
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