Update of the guy I complained about at work.

[Carolsos]

The guy I made the complaint about had a meeting with the restaurant manager today and he denies all the wrong doing he did to me. He said he never shouted at me. He also said why didn't I have a word with him? I was on holiday for 2 weeks and then he was. I am working with him tomorrow. He said he is willing to sit down and talk about said issues. I want nothing to do with him, since he has denied everything why does he want to sit and talk to me?? He is not willing to change his attitude or omit he did anything wrong. I want to take it further with the area manager, what do you guys think?

Thanks

[weathervane]

My heart goes out to you , you should never have to go through this . If you do meet him tomorrow try and have someone there as a support. No one should be bullied 🤗🤗🤗

[Lolabridge in reply to weathervane]

Totally agree with weathervane. Were there any witnesses to the original incident that will support you?

[MadBunny]

I agree with weathervane. Please don't meet with him ,without having someone you trust with you.as supports d as a witness to what is said. Or the restaurant manager either. And it might be an idea to have them take notes, although .if I recall from my own experience, you would need to ask them if they mind .I really feel for you I worked for a bullying headmaster who was set on getting rid of me.I was fortunate that I had the support of my union rep. I wish you well, and please let us know how you get on.

[springcross]

I think you should take it further Carol, he shouldn't be allowed to get away with that but if you do agree to sit down and talk about the issues with him, then I agree with the others that you should have someone with you as a witness - if he is genuine, then he won't mind if someone else is there.

[Deeb1764]

If there is a sit down there should be a witness so if he gets agitated or abusive or bullying of any kind there is someone there certainly not on your own. It hsould always be mediated the first meet after a complaint.

[Neonkittie17]

Hi Carol, Hoping all goes better than you’re thinking and who needs this when you’re trying to cope with your RA. 💗 You do not want this awful stress so hopefully it can be sorted tomorrow. I’d not trust this guy one bit as he’s been spineless to deny he did anything. If he says sorry and he was in the wrong and wants go start afresh then I’d say OK for the sake of your job but still be wary. He might be worried he’s being watched so he could change his ways. Good luck. x

[Carolsos]

The restaurant manager said she would be with me as she knows what he is like. I have decided not to meet him as I don't see it making any difference. The Sarah the restaurant manager said she would sit with me. I don't know what to do. Will let you know how this shift goes Today.

[AgedCrone in reply to Carolsos]

Unless I’ve got it wrong you have been on holiday….so you didn’t call in sick?Mayb your doctor would give you a note confirming you were in fact very sick….which presumably this oik is trying to hide?

I would definitely not meet with him alone.

Hope you get things sorted without getting too stressed.

[Mmrr in reply to Carolsos]

Unless you want to deal with the stress and possibly prolonging the incident, taking it to another level and so on......I would not meet with him.

But when working beside him on the same shift I would make it very plain to him, perhaps by saying directly that you do not want to be alone with him and would rather someone else was there at all times. Be polite, be firm and look him in the eye, don't enter into a conversation.

I would also tell him that you are keeping a journal of your working day.

Bullies are only bullies when they get away with it.....it can be difficult to challenge, but if you are strong and direct, I suspect he will back off.

Then decide do you want to stay in the job or move on ?

[BoneyC]

If you want to take things further, say to an Employment Tribunal, showing that you have been reasonable and followed all of the employer's grievance procedure to the letter might help any claim against them. That might include meeting with the manager? Good luck.

[HappykindaGal]

My comment is going to appear quite direct. Do you love your job? Would you be able to find another easily?

I ask as things are unlikely to change whatever you do and you still will have to see him each day. It may be better to cut your losses and move to something else. These situations rarely end up with anyone winning. If you’re lucky, it’s an uneasy truce at best.

A horrid situation and some people are just ****s 😊

[Mmrr in reply to HappykindaGal]

I agree, taking the situation further will most likely end up in a very stressful situation, possible RD flares ...for little gain.

[HappykindaGal in reply to Mmrr]

I hate suggesting that as it sounds wrong, but for your own peace of mind it's probably the best route

[ABwn]

As everyone has previously said, you must have someone with you who will take notes. Please don't meet him without anyone with you. Good luck and take care.

[sylvi]

Tell him how you feel and he needs to change his attitude to you and if he doesn't you will report him again and keep on going with the complaint darling. xxxx

[Nuttyshirlz]

Unless you have a witness about what your claiming he did it will be your word against his. I went something similar with an ex manager years ago and he’s doing everything by the book and that’s why he wants to sit down with you. I also sat down and felt I wasted my time. In fact 24 hrs after it all I walked out on the job and felt much better for it.

[Mmrr in reply to Nuttyshirlz]

Yes to everything you say

[Nuttyshirlz in reply to Mmrr]

Yes so did I but has she said nothing personal but she also had to work with her. But even if bosses have a word with him you will still have to work with him and he won’t go anywhere.

[medway-lady]

I agree meet him with an observer but I think if you don't meet him then it might look as though you're making yourself look difficult and eventually if it did go to a tribunal then he can say that he tried to resolve the situation and you didn't want too. So best thing is to maintain the moral high ground and show you tried to resolve a difficult situation. I so feel your in such a horrid place but don't leave yourself vulnerable to what may in time become a much bigger issue and you have no job. If he still proves difficult or continues to be a bully then you'll have a record of why you complained and that nothing has changed despite your best efforts.

[Carolsos]

Well the day went well today and I am not going to meet him. He was very pleasent today. He is not going to apologise to me as he thinks he has not done anything wrong!

[Pippy25 in reply to Carolsos]

I'm a bit late to the post so my apologies. Please be very careful around this person as he sounds like trouble and speaking from experience and hindsight I would never meet with him without having someone there, as he sounds like a nasty piece of work. Just be guarded around him, even if he is seemingly being pleasant. Sending you some supportive wishes and hope there is a way forward for you. Take care xxx

[Mmrr in reply to Carolsos]

As others have said take care with him, make sure he knows you will not stand for any non sense from him.