hit a low recently: hi, sorry for the depressing post i... - NRAS

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hit a low recently

oliviagodfreyxx
oliviagodfreyxx

hi, sorry for the depressing post i hope everyone’s as well as they can be.

it’s not so much arthritis related but i can comfortably confide in this group and feel at ease explaining what’s wrong.

i’ve been feeling down and so so anxious recently ever since my TB diagnosis and not being able to start my biologics until it has cleared up, however this past week is the worst my anxiety has been. i wake up everyday with the feeling of dread in my chest and stomach and spend the morning crying to my mum. i’m finding things really difficult and struggling to get out of bed and do my university work.

i’ve got a session of CBT in the next two weeks however this isn’t enough and i cant wait any longer feeling like this. i have been prescribed some new antidepressants which i had worked so hard to wean myself off before christmas. today has just been the icing on the cake.

i’ve tried chamomile tea, mindfulness, rescue remedy tongue drops and still without fail i cant wake up without feeling the dread and tightness in my chest.

this is effecting my uni work and my relationship with my boyfriend and friends, i keep having irrational thoughts and doubts that i cant seem to shake off. my brain is telling me i’d be better off alone.

i’ve been relying heavily on my mum, i don’t like not being around her, i feel safer with her but i feel guilty at the same time for not wanting to see my boyfriend or friends. i feel too anxious and upset.

does anyone recommend what i could do to reduce this feeling?

thankyou

55 Replies

Hi Olivia. Firstly, no need to apologise. Let it all out 😘

You’re dealing with a massive amount right now - from the TB diagnosis to simply being a uni student and having relationships to manage.

I think your Uni should be able to offer some mental health support - maybe quicker than your GP. If you feel really low, it could also be worth reaching out to the Samaritans.

As for your boyfriend and your friends, my best advice is to be honest. Say you’re feeling very low and need some “you” time and that you’d really appreciate their support by them giving you the space you need. In my experience, issues arise through lack of communication. Anyone who is a good friend or partner will understand.

I’m going to post a few things off Insta which have some little tips for self care etc, and I hope some will help. I’ll have to post separately as they only allow one image per reply!!

Sending you a big hug 🤗 x

LoneEra
LoneEra in reply to LoneEra

Another...

LoneEra
LoneEra in reply to LoneEra

Some mood boosting foods!

LoneEra
LoneEra in reply to LoneEra

And finally some strategies to help get on top of anxiety xx

thankyou for these pictures and for your help and kindness, i really needed to hear and see this today. i appreciate it very much x

springcross
springcross in reply to LoneEra

Really good post LoneEra as are the handy enclosures (so to speak).

Hi. I agree with loneera so just to say I'm sending love . Keep talking to your friends and family. Gps are good too and can help xxx 😍

thankyou very much xxx

Hi dear Olivia, I’m so sorry you are feeling low. Super advice from Lone Era 💗 and do tell your Uni support people as my niece got depression in her final Uni year in 2019 and was given advice and support and some extra time to do work and also was able to hand her dissertation in in the summer. It didn’t affect her degree and she got the grade she wanted so don’t worry about that. The good thing is you’ve recognised what’s happening and started to do things to try help yourself, so you are a positive person and will get through this. We are all here for you and a little offload and chat here does you a power of good. Hugs to you. I agree with all of Lone Era’s great suggestions. Getting out of the house for a safe stroll is really important and also good breathing. I do breathing exercises every day for many years. Keeps you calmer. Journaling is good too as it’s out of your head and on the paper so to speak. Art helps me more but it isn’t my therapy at such as I am an artist anyhow. Hope you can get in touch with your support team at Uni very soon. X

thankyou very much, i appreciate the kindness and support xxx

You’re welcome Olivia xx💗

Just wanted to show my support to you and say you've taken the first few steps already by recognising you feel this way, by sharing it with us and also that you are going to have some sessions. Sending some gentle warm and supportive wishes your way xx

thankyou very much i appreciate it xxx

Big hugs reaching out is the first biggie. LoneEra did a great post and also look for anxiety zoom meetings. There are lots happening and seeing you are not alone might help too. Anti depressants can keep you away from the dark lonely road but if the one you are taking does not feel right talk to your GP but they take time to kick in too.

Other simple things is the right food groups and a daily walk to get some fresh air too.

Keep talking!

thankyou i will definitely check out the zoom meetings x

Hi olivia. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way but I can understand why. LoneEra has given some good advice here and provided some handy tips too which look really good. I wish you luck with your CBT sessions and hope that you're feeling better soon. All the best. xx

thankyou very much xx

Hi Olivia.... no apology required as this is just type of thing many of us need support for at times and some find it hard to speak up so you are not only helping yourself here but you’re also helping those ‘silent readers’ looking for encouragement and support.Do know that inflammation can contribute to depression as well as the other things so the pause on a biological and associated disease activity may be adding to your anxiety/depression.

Do also know that latent TB does not automatically become full blown TB.... which is very treatable anyway. My OH had TB in the 80s and fully recovered with no lung damage etc!

Take your time and be gentle with yourself.... particularly as these are flaming awful times to be studying at uni.... if you haven’t done so already I recommend you contact your uni wellbeing team as you are entitled to extended deadlines for paperwork etc due to living with long term medical conditions.

All the best

Ali

thankyou for your advice i will definitely reach out and contact them x

Hi Olivia, well done in sharing. Very difficult times seem as if they’ll never pass but they do.

You seem to have done many things to help yourself through this patch, lots of good suggestions here already, so just letting you know you matter. 💐

thankyou i needed to hear that x

Hi Olivia, sorry you are feeling down. It’s been an awful year and it must be much harder for younger people. Plus you’ve got TB as well as your RA, you've got a lot on your plate with uni and everything that covid has brought. No wonder you are feeling stressed - to be honest it would be a miracle if you didn’t feel like that.

You have had loads of good suggestions so hopefully you will find things that help. I’d say to try the breathing that Neonkittie has suggested. We do a lot of breathing in my Pilates group - breath in for a count of four, hold the breath for a count of four, breathe out for a count of four then hold it for a count of four then carry on doing it. It’s very calming - don’t know why exactly- and it’s good for helping you to get to sleep. Even just lying on the floor or on a mat breathing in and out feels good.

It’s good that you can acknowledge what your problem is and that you feel safe with your mum. I doubt if you are alone in not wanting to see your boyfriend or friends - I’m 72 and right now I’m not bothered about seeing my friends - when this is over I’m sure we’ll both want to see our friends again even if we don’t feel like that right now. I keep telling myself that this won’t last forever.

You need to be very kind to yourself. Don’t feel you ‘ought’ to be doing anything in particular - just do things you want to do. Come on here and talk to us as often as you want to and let us know how you’re getting on. Look after yourself and (((Big hugs))) from me.

thankyou for your advice i really appreciate it :) i’ve started using some mindfulness and calm apps/youtube videos that help me sleep better x

Dear Olivia

What a rotten time you’ve been having but I hope it will have helped you to share it with us. Some great advice has already been posted above and I having nothing else to add other than send you my best wishes and remind you of Captain Tom’s motto: “Tomorrow is going to be a good day.” I hope at least it will be a better one for you.

thankyou i appreciate it :) i think about that motto daily! just got to keep on going x

You xx

allanah
allanah in reply to allanah

And how I feel at times too, your not alone x

so true!! thankyou for this i really needed to hear it xxx

Hang on in there, this will pass. Positives , you have friends and family and people hear who care for you. CBT works , antidepressants will take the weight off

You will pass uni

And TB is treatable as is RA

Things will turn out fine. Take it a day at a time lovely. We've all been there, honest !,😍

Hi Olivia. I can relate to the feelings you're having. I've read through the other replies and I didn't see my suggestion. If you're waking up with dread in your chest & stomach, crying to Mom and struggling to get out of bed you don't need CBT, you need an antianxiety medication. Now! Classic major depressive disorder with generalized anxiety. I'm not a drug pusher but there's a reason why medications are out there. To help. You may just need something to get you up and over this bump in your road right now. And with the covid-19 there's such an increase of depression it's just terrible. Add all of what you're going through plus trying to do your University work it's very easy to understand. Trust me, CBT will take months and months of sessions to help. That's just a process of looking at life different and changing your perspective. You should call your doctor tomorrow and say exactly what you said in your post.

Stay strong. It's gonna be just fine. Pick up your phone and call doctor!

thankyou very much xx

Poor you, you’re dealing with a tremendous amount of physical and mental stress so you need to do whatever helps you cope each day. It’s hard dealing with autoimmune diseases when you’re young, I was diagnosed at 21 and found that people didn’t understand that I was in a lot of pain and was exhausted and miserable. The added TB diagnosis has just been the final straw for you and your ability to push through it seems, especially when you’re waiting on biologics. You are not alone, it can just feel like it though. If your mum is who you need as your rock right now then that’s okay, it’s what mums are for! Take some time each day to concentrate on breathing and relaxing and get some evidence from your doctors to share with the uni, a letter outlining what you are suffering from and how it has affected you as you will need this to get the extra time and consideration on your exams and deadlines - my daughter struggles with anxiety and depression and our doctors kept “forgetting “ to write the letter so she was turned down for special consideration and had to struggle through the anxiety and the deadlines.

Much love and prayers to you Olivia xx

thankyou so much xx

You have an outlet, we are always here for anybody who needs support.

Firstly, it is great that you are able to recognise and explain your feelings, this is really good and it is also good to write them down either here or in a journal, or both.

Secondly, coming to terms with long term and at times debilitating illness is massive. None of us come to it with ease or without suffering the emotional impact.

Many years ago, I went through 2 years of counselling (at Uni, oddly). For me there were some key takeaways; always be kind to yourself; acceptance of what you can't change; permission to be however you need to be to get through it.

My personal aid to my coping was a mental 'safe house' where everything was as I wanted it to be, I had a cupboard in the entrance where I left my coat, my coat carried all of my anxiety and emotional pain, and in the rest of my safe house I was completely free. It took some relaxation techniques to enable me to get there and there are many available online, but once there I could relax. This allowed me to escape whenever things got too difficult. This was MY coping mechanism and it worked for ME. I am not suggesting that it is for you or anyone else, but I am suggesting that you will find a way through this extremely difficult time.

Go gently x

thankyou for your advice xx

Hi Olivia - and wow! what a great community we have such soothing words of encouragement and recommendations! Know you are never alone; you are very much loved. It sounds like you have a fabulous mum to cushion and protect you and our lovely community here listening, helping and supporting you during this time.

I have family members with anxiety - what immensely helped them besides family was speaking with a fantastic therapist🙂 life is just fine.

Knowing that your mum, boyfriend, friends love and care for you, have that discussion mentioned, you would feel so much better after, and they would be ever so grateful you did.

Sending you blessings, hope and a big virtual hug, 🤗 you got this! - Hessie

definitely! i wouldn’t have been able to cope with my mum, thankyou xxx

Good morning OliviaLots of good advice on here already. Just wanted to add another voice to "you are not alone".

thankyou very much xx

Thinking of you Olivia and sending good wishes. I find that when I make a list of what I am grateful for and read it, it reduces my worry about what’s going wrong. There’s some brilliant advice here from the others which I think is so helpful for everyone reading this thread. Hopefully the sun is shining where you are and you are able to go for a little walk this morning. Life will get better. Sending you a big hug 🤗

thankyou so much x

Hi Olivia, so many good replies here, I hope your finding them helpful. I have suffered off and on with depression and anxiety. I too relied heavily on my mum. She gave me all the love and support I needed at the time , more than anyone else in my life before or since and I shall always be so grateful. She is now going through a tough time and I am now able to be strong for her. These things have made our relationship even closer .

I tried three different antidepressants the third was the one that I could live with. I thought of it as a bridge to get me through the most difficult time I was having and now no longer need to take them. They served there purpose and I'm glad I took them they really helped. I also did a 4 month course of CBT and have now been discharged. So a combination of support really helped me find a way through.

You will find the right way through for you and come out the other side stronger for it . Your not alone in this. xx

thankyou so much, i hope it works for me too xx

Hi, having suffered anxiety most of my life and found like you nothing works. I discovered NLP therapy. It works for me. Maybe give it a chance?With all best wishes

Liz xxxxx

thankyou i will definitely take a look xxxxx

Well done for sharing Olivia, not easy to do but important that you did.Concur with the helpful info already shared.

Also just wanted to say my other half has a diagnosed mental health issue and

has to take medication for it continuously.

Not saying that's so in your case but many of us are reliant on medication to get through each day.

Also wondered when you last spoke to somone about your physical condition ?

May help to ease your anxiety?

Sending hugs :)

thankyou for your advice xxx

Matt haig the writer described what you are going through. He said it was like being buffeted around in a hurricane. But you must remember that you yourself are not the hurricane you will come through it. When I was down a friend told me the line from marigold hotel

It will be alright in the end so if it’s not alright it’s not the end.

You need to keep on going. Uni and boyfriend’s can come and go you are special and need to look out for yourself and get help where you can. And don’t worry about your mum she won’t mind and this is not forever. You can pay her back in kindness later when you are through your hurricane 🥰

thankyou for this, i really needed to hear it, i appreciate your kindness very much xxx

Hi Olivia, Thank you for sharing and sorry you are going through so much right now. This might help others going through similar feelings. You already have so much great advice from so many above, so I don't have a whole lot to add. Just sending you hugs. You are strong and will get though this. Keep talking to your friends and family, and vent here when you feel like it. Just remember " This too shall pass" and it always does.Take care!

thankyou so much i appreciate the support x

Oh you lovely girl, what a lot you are dealing with, I can’t imagine how difficult all this is for you. Your mum is your best allied, so don’t put stress on worrying about that, mums go to the end of the earth naturally for their babies of which you are one! . I don’t know what you have tried but I’m am now so enjoying guided meditation on YouTube, I’m selective! but I find them extremely helpful with Breathing & control being paramount, this has helped me so much.. I struggled with all these things/ideas prior to my current life but now find it so beneficial, now moving into meditation, yoga etc. take care of yourself, the TB is being monitored & hopefully you can start a therapeutic treatment specifically for you. I take my iPad to bed & find the right guided meditation & turn of the lights & follow their guidance, so relaxing & totally absorbing, please try it I know your young & I know I would of struggled with these ideas when young, but believe me they are so helpful. Take care & I wish you all the very best as you move forward in this strange world of autoimmune disease, Big Love 💕

thankyou so much for your suggestions, i will definitely give it a go, i appreciate your kindness and advice xxx

Try not to let fear take over you , I know it’s hard for all of us but we have to turn our negative into a positive as that’s the only way we will get through, also it’s what you put in your head that brings negativity. I have been told I might need a back operation, if not I will end up using a scooter, not happy but I still have life in me , yes I get pain everyday and yes I think I can’t do anything today , I am focusing on each day , try and fight it and you will feel better.👍

Mega cwtch to ya

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