TODAY IS AN OFF DAY: I've been in doors now for nearly... - NRAS

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I've been in doors now for nearly 15 weeks I've now been told to carry on doing it till August 16th which is fine I'll do it because I know it's the best thing for me.

But (yes there's a but) whilst sitting here I see people coming & going especially neighbours who go out & about who have their in laws there & they go to theres etc then to see their parents visiting on 1 or more occasion both of whom are in their 80s !! I'm thinking to myself am I just stupid doing what the gov asks of me while everyone else seems oblivious to it all and carry on doing what they want to do.

When you're doing your very best through this awful time, to see others just disregarding everything we've been asked to do really ...well lets just say it doesn't put a smile on my face.

Is the title of this post responsible for my rant & I'll be ok tomorrow??or have I got an enormous point ?????🤬😅🤬😅🤬😅😫

74 Replies

You have a point but think to yourself they are risking going out but your risk might pit you in hospital. I've been desperate as my neighbouts decided to build a two floor extension on day 1 of lockdown. The noise has driven me mad 7.30 am to 5.30 PM. Every view from my house is builders , so I see them off for a lovely bike ride and I'm stuck in with their noise and dirt.

It have me terrible anxiety and sadness but what can you do, I'll be safe in here until something happens to make it safe out there.

However if you go somewhere with no people around and dont touchbanything, if you feel like it maybe getting out for 5 minutes will help.

A lot of us know how you feel xxx

Deminem in reply to allanah

Oh gosh that sounds totally awful.

I really feel for you.

That alone is enough to drive you batty.

allanah in reply to Deminem

It is 🤪🤪🤪

This my bug bare too.

I have repeatedly noticed all you have said. It makes me angry as I can see this prolonging my isolation . There has been a lot of selfishness or they really don’t understand the consequences. Unfortunately people have no fear .

Bionic1 in reply to J1707

Exactly my point people who just carry on regardless will end up putting the R number back which will in turn see people in lockdown longer. I've got no problem with social distancing meet ups etc but when people just blatantly don't care is a different matter

Those people are breaking the law, although it varies from country to country within the UK.

Shielding is not a legal obligation even though advised.

Folk over a certain age might not care to stay secluded, thinking they have nothing much to lose if they die.

I’d rather not die of COVID-19, nasty way to go.

My region has very few cases and deaths. So I chose to start getting a daily walk after six weeks inside; safe enough outdoors in quiet places.

In Scotland, shielded groups can go out as many hours as they wish for exercise, from 18th June but other shielding measures remain until at least 31st July.

We need to use our common sense and be careful if going out during the remainder of the shielding period. Mental health matters too.

I get exactly what you mean. I feel really low today.

Everything has kind of got on top of me.

I presume you're in Wales given the date that you have been given? I'm in England. A friend text me from Wales yesterday saying that she had decided to break the rules and have a gathering. I replied "marvellous, the shielded of Wales will be so grateful to you that they have to stay in even longer."

In my view people can do what they want as long as they don't put my life at risk or prolong my isolation.

It's time people thought of society and not just themselves.

If you can get out for even 10 mins then it will help your well-being.

Sorry for the rant but I'm feeling everything you said.

Bionic1 in reply to happytulip

You Rant away I know exactly what you mean. I'd love to be able to go back & forth my family & friends homes but no ones allowed to go in so sitting in the rain is not really an option. As you can see everything's got on top of me today as well. By way good reply to your friend

The bottom line is that you can’t let the behavior of others steal your joy. Focus on being the best and happiest that you can be – that’s where your energy should go. Set the best example you can and spend time and energy on people who lift you higher.

Your worrying has zero impact on them – and only hurts you. So maybe try some relaxation techniques when you feel their behaviour getting to you?

That's all very true, but sometimes it's good to acknowledge what is upsetting you.

I find that venting any negative energy sort of resets me so I can focus on positive things if that makes sense? Then I can achieve positive things and then that leads into more positive behaviour. But only after getting rid of the negative.

Sort of like lancing a boil. I'm on my own and find that being able to get stuff off my chest really helps.

Bionic1 in reply to happytulip

I'm like that have to just let it go occasionally then move on.

I'm on my own shielding and sometimes it can be bloody hard work talking to my pottery British Bulldog didn't help today so the post received my wrath 😁😤

summer32A in reply to Bionic1

Hi if you nerd a chat with anyone I'm available pm me x

Yes, venting good. And if you can reset naturally then even better, but I find I need to something to help me achieve a reset...

I've just deadheaded a load of roses so hopefully that will help.

I have identified a few things that need doing in the garden tomorrow if I am able.

For me it's good to go to bed with a loose plan for tomorrow. I find that helps.

Funny, I was doing really well shielding alone but in this past week it's really got to me.

Bionic1 in reply to happytulip

Cutting your Rose's heads off 😱😅 don't think I've got that extreme yet 🤣.

Seriously I hope you get done all that you've planned in your head for tomorrow. Don't think I've even got that far yet. Up and at um as they say . Here's to a chin up day tomorrow 👍

happytulip in reply to Bionic1

Hope tomorrow is a better one for you.

But if it's not, don't beat yourself up.

Bionic1 in reply to happytulip

Thank you 🤞

allanah in reply to happytulip

Yes I found this week hardest, ivd stopped watching the news completly. It's too stressful xx

I hear every word you say, take care xx

I agree,people have become too complacent.Ive heard for weeks people meeting up,going into one another’s homes and carrying on as if covid has makes me really annoyed and upset as while they’re all carrying on regardless,the shielders are going to carry on shielding for longer.

Bionic1 in reply to Mollieharry

Spot on

allanah in reply to Mollieharry

Indeed xxx

Agree with all you've said. It's getting harder after 12 weeks so as you've done nearly 15 I applaud you. Well done.

Added to what you've written and now bubbles are being spoken of, even though I'm shielding I thought it might be nice to meet my brother who has stayed in too alone. Now he's just been on two buses so he didn't have the same in mind as me! So even trying to meet at a distance with someone doesn't always work! I think we need to be spoken of more at the updates too.

Thanks for voicing the feelings of many.

Carry on what you are doing as you’ve come this far. I’m pretty much the same myself since end of February and I’ve had a couple of car rides to lovely high vantage points to look at the local views and not got out but would love to have a walk as I’m getting very stiff with no walking exercise, but it would have to be remote as I can’t risk people walking into me. My OH says he will take me to some place we can do a walk and it will be very unlikely we will meet anyone on the moors tops.

Are you able to go outside when it’s a quieter time to get some fresh air and move just a little or is that not possible?

No, not stupid .. and I get you because it’s what I’ve felt and others here too. That we’ve stayed in as requested and also for the good of our health yet there have been people who have and still are doing exactly what they want. No attempt at distancing and compliance.

Take care and hope you are able to see friends and family on FaceTime calls etc. It must bf so very hard when you are living on your own. x

Totally agree with you, I could have written your post. I have a neighbour both in their 80s, family just walk in and out, he was in hospital for a week, when he came out, a nurse goes into to see him twice a week, when she leaves the house, he goes out all the time. I live in a culdesac and you tend to notice everything. All my neighbours are elderly and it’s galling to see this. When we were allowed a visitor in the garden, my daughter and grandson came down to see me. We had jackets on and stayed outside with the fire pit on. I felt guilty as it was a cold day but she wudnt risk going in the house. Are we crazy? (Or just sensible) take care x

Bionic1 in reply to Lizard28

Exactly my point. Just remember you do what u do for you & your family x

You are shielding for YOU, it is your own safety that is being protected.

Your neighbours only highlight the need to take great care.

Take care.

Did I dream it or was there an item on the tv news yesterday promising news for shielders this coming week? Will see if there’s anything in the papers.

I’m not shielding but still being very cautious as to where I go - exercise, grocery click and collect and medical needs.. I have my OH and my adult son here for company so not alone and really feel for those on their own. 🤗

allanah in reply to Bookworm55

Yes supposed to be about now ...

I agree with you too! And now I’m beginning to feel extremely guilty. My daughter can go back to school next week for three mornings and the following week and she wants to go. I want her to too, she’s working hard at her a levels. Should I let her or should she attend via zoom as some other children are from shielded families. The latter suggestion has not gone down well, put it that way...

Bionic1 in reply to Endless

I think you just have to explain the importance of social distancing. Put hand sanitiser in her bag and tell her to use common sense.

It must b very hard for you . Hope all goes well x

I can't argue with you on that score darling. Why should we behave ourselves and do what the law tells us then you get these idiots think it is alright to go to the seaside at the first sign of sunshine and its not them who will suffer it is the vulenable(excuse spelling my brain doesn't want to work this morning). xxxx

I 'm shielding and Ive been feeling exactly the same.My immediate neighbours have shown a total disregard for the guidelines. Its been very difficult to sit and relax in the garden or have the door and windows due to their noise, music ,smoking ,dog barking, smoke from bbq.......

I have been in tears on several occasions as I feel Ive been unable to relax in my own home.I know that some of it is probably just the stress of being stuck at home and if Id been able to out maybe it would be a bit more bearable.

It does make me livid when I see the 'I'll do what I want' attitude not just in gardens but many public places too.I know I have to shield for my own health and safety so thats my decision but these people are putting the lives of many others at risk .Sorry -rant over.

Sops in reply to MadBunny

hI, same situation here, families have been staying overnight throughout, visiting dogs coming into my garden ,shrieking kids at all hours, loud music, barbies cars parked on my pavement.......

was doing really well but now totally brassed off.


MadBunny in reply to Sops

Yes theyve frequently had people staying over.At the start I was quite happy as I love gardening and sitting in the garden reading sewing, and I was looking forward to giving it a bit of a makeover. Until they moved in at the end of April....

I didn't report them as I'm not that kind of person but now,having had to put up with it, I wish I had!

Bionic1 in reply to MadBunny

Ring police anonymously they'll only get a knock on the door & advice.

Some people just don't think

"There but for the Grace of God go I"

Don't think some people even heard of this. X

Sops in reply to MadBunny

That is so weird, mine are new neighbours too, i have been in my house for a long time, had it built for me, so am reluctant to consider moving, i think when you are alone people take advantage,

Don't even get the peace in the daytime will sit in my garden with headphones as sun is now.out!

Take care Sopsx

MadBunny in reply to Sops

We've been in our house for 34 yrs -bought it from new-and really wouldnt want to move either.

We have been very lucky and never had any problems until now.The houses are small, terraced , and are very close to each other but everyone has always respected each other.I dont mind everyday noise,children playing etc but this is something else.

Like you I sit with my headphones on listening to music. I know what you mean about being alone.

Mine are worse during the week when my husband's at work.However if they think Im a feeble oldie then they have seriously underestimated me.Not that I want a confrontation though.

Theyre out at the moment so Im enjoying the peace!

Take care yourself xx

allanah in reply to MadBunny

I so agree with you , mine and their builders and dust and noise making me feel like a prisoner too!

allanah in reply to MadBunny

Me too ........ in tears just now

Can I ask you why you have to shield til August 16th Bionic1? I’ve been told to shield til the end of June and was hoping to have contact with my family. Like you I’m finding this isolation tough now. I have RA and I’m on Sulphasalazine and have a bad flare at the moment.

allanah in reply to Kalimers65

Different countries been given different dates x

Kalimers65 in reply to allanah

I have absolutely no confidence in Johnson. And these different deadlines just adds to the anxiety and sense of confusion.

Bionic1 in reply to Kalimers65

I live in Wales different rules etc

But mental health exactly the same x

Kalimers65 in reply to Bionic1

Thanks for getting back. Although I live in England I have zero confidence in Johnson.

Bionic1 in reply to Kalimers65

Don't think a lot of people do right now

Sops in reply to Kalimers65

Me neither


I live in a road of 9 bungalows and houses with only one occupied by anyone under 70. All have totally disregarded lockdown or social distancing except me. Two who use mobility scooters and are over 80 have still gone to the local Tesco express every day. There is no need as the local farm shop delivers, the pharmacist delivers meds and anything else that he sells and there are more volunteers than people needing them in my area who are anxious to help. Visitors have been coming and going all day every day and there have been several parties. They think I am the odd one for following the guidance. It all seems very odd to me that they choose to act in that way and probably cause a second wave. That causes me to become depressed as the thought of lockdown in the winter when I can't even go in the garden is depressing.

Bionic1 in reply to Wobbies

This has made me realise who I can count on in a crisis & the people who are important in my life x

allanah in reply to Bionic1

Oh yes, I've learned who my real friends are , and it's not my coffee forks, not ONE of them has texted or called knowing im stuck in , they never acknowledge that RA and my drugs , are serious x

I am shielding and think it is for the best given that I have multiple health conditions. I have been inside since March except for the following; two trips to the doctor for blood tests where I was taken through an empty surgery to see a nurse who was all gowned and masked up. One ride out to a country park where we got out of the car and just went a short way with me in my mobility scooter. It was wonderful doing that and it was on the day after we had been told that we could go out, although looking back, I think it was a bit early.

Last week a friend came round and she sat in the front garden and I sat in the hallway. We talked for about half and hour and it was lovely.

I am on Facebook and see so many photos that people are putting up of their trips out and it gets me down a bit to think that this summer is going by with no holidays or outings, but I know it is to keep me safe. My son is working from home which is good as he is not bringing bugs into the house and he says he is quite happy doing that. My husband only goes out once a week to get food supplies, so with both of them being so good at shielding me, I am not going to risk anything. I have lots of hobbies so am happy to have more time for them, but to be honest, I sleep a lot so I feel I don't have enough time for the things I want to do even like this. One thing I have started is to write a book which I am enjoying doing so much.

I hope you soon feel a bit brighter Bionic and I wish you all the best. xx

Bionic1 in reply to holly-willow

Good luck with your book x

O I'll be ok thank you. It's just I had to rant and where better to have a rant than on here. Take care x

holly-willow in reply to Bionic1

Thank you Bionic. xx

It's true some people bend the rules and can't see past their own risk that maybe low, so they do as they see fit. It's selfish and so very short-sighted.

People act as if Its every man for themselves out there. But you doing as you've been advised does benefit you, so forget about them if you can, bcz you can't control what others do, just what you do/don't do.



Thank you All for your contributions hopefully we've helped each other in a small way. Take care All . Stay safe & PATIENT 😅

MadBunny in reply to Bionic1

Thats good news.

Very true, sopsx

You have a very fair point. The local news where I live this morning is over 500 young people met up last night with a quarantine rave! 😡. Honestly it beggars belief! I am so pleased to read that today is not such an off day for you. x

Bionic1 in reply to Summerrain14

O my word ! What is wrong with people. Don't they realise there could be god knows how many carriers in that 500 who can pass it to them for them to take home to their families etc & so it begins all over again.

Social distancing gone out the window 🤬

Summerrain14 in reply to Bionic1

The latest update from this event is sadly someone has been stabbed, someone raped and someone raped! Not to mention the massive risks they have given to our local community due to the virus. What is wrong with people as you say? The recent events have made me so sad recently with all the protests, rule breaking and some awfully hurtful behaviours being displayed. What a world we live in currently. I am still determined to try and focus on the positives though to keep myself a little sane. x

Bionic1 in reply to Summerrain14

O ivy get news headlines on my phone just saw a headline about a stabbing & rape ..that's terrible.

Rules are there for a reason no comfort for their families I know but please start listening.

Raves are bad enough this day & age without any added pressures

allanah in reply to Bionic1

They think they are immune and it's an old people disease

Bionic1 in reply to allanah

How wrong can they be if they think that. At 1 point my local hospital icu was 80% under the age of 50 & that came from a consultant working there.

Hi B!

Just to say, I absolutely agree with everyone's frustration at the utter selfishness of others, and I really feel for what some of you have had to put up with in relation to neighbours, etc. Talk about making a bad situation worse!😳

I live in a little courtyard with 3 other properties, only 2 of which are occupied at present, with a couple in each one. I feel very lucky as they have all been pretty sensible for this whole period, no parades of visitors, noise, bbq's etc! (Let alone building works)! I feel very grateful after hearing what many of you have hadto endure!

It does seem locally too that more and more people are returning to normal. I can't help but think the VE day business was the start of it, with the Cummings nonsense exacerbating matters. I felt a surprising number of people locally suddenly seemed to think VE day was massively important although they wouldn't normally know the difference between VE Day and April Fool's Day!!🙄

It just seemed like an excuse to have parties as they were 'bored' and missing the pubs!! Sorry if that sounds cynical, but it's what I've observed. The mental gymnastics some I know have done in order to justify what they're doing as ok is quite astonishing too! My elderly aunt was 94 last week. She's bedridden, very frail (and very difficult!) and has daily carers plus a couple of family members. Apparently she had a 'house full' of various family visitors on her birthday who decided it was obviously ok as it was her birthday. Bonkers or what!!🤪

Why are people being so complacent about this virus. I don't understand it.

It was my friends mothers birthday not long ago she herself is shielding but my friend and family got her balloons and a present for the garden and put up banners without stepping a foot inside her mother loved it.

By way your street sounds ideal 😁

happytulip in reply to Bionic1

In all seriousness, most peoples attitudes seem to have changed after the Dominic Cummings affair. That's the people I have spoken to anyway.

If he had gone it would have sent a strong signal about the importance of social distancing.

Not a political view, just what I am hearing people say.

Aah, what a lovely idea your friend came up with. How thoughtful. Just shows it can be done. Obviously beyond my naughty family members!

Another friend had a new car last week (fair enough)! Her husband drove to Edinburgh (from midlands) to collect it. Didn't want to do drive all at once so he booked to stay in a B&B last Sunday night!😳 When I expressed surprise as B&B's shouldn't be open (aside from not staying one), she insisted it must be ok as they were advertising online! Aagh!! He also stopped at his brother's in Durham 'for a cuppa' on the way there and back. Apparently that was ok as he sat at the other end of the kitchen table to them! He's 75 btw, so not exactly in the first flush of youth!

It's amazing what people seem to be able to justify to themselves.

With some, they honestly seem to think they really won't get it, and that people who do are somehow stupid or to blame! Really makes my head hurt!🤕

Anyway, rant over (I think)!

Speak tomorrow xx😊

Kags1068 in reply to Kags1068

Ps. Thanks for the compliment about our courtyard. Must admit I've felt bloomin' lucky lately. Just thought, if I've been shuffling about outside (quietly honest), and sitting out on my drive, hooe I'm not the one who has been driving everyone nuts!!😁😄xx

It's really down to the individual now to do what's best for them, both physically and mentally. I feel everyone has made decisions based on the regulations and their own circumstances. Except the complete idiots who seem to think they are immune to the illness and above the law.

That sounds really sad, lockdown is opening, and hopefully you will be able to go outside. I haven't seen my parents for 5 months, but still are waiting for the lockdown to open completely.

Agree about how some people are behaving as if it’s all over. My neighbourhood is very quiet except for all the DIY men and their electric tools, my deafness is sometimes an advantage. However I accidentally pressed a Click and Collect instead of home delivery. The super market experience was great, they just popped the order into my boot, but it was a shock seeing the car park packed and everyone walking so close together as if there was no virus. Our area is very low in cases at present but the Uni. students have all been coming back and having parties (they weren’t let off their rents), the shops open tomorrow and I’m worried that after all this time shielding day waiting for the right time to go out we shall be back into exponential rise in cases. As for having teeth, cataracts and hair fixed, will it be 2021!!!!!!!!!! I’m 83 already, each year is precious.

I found that as little TV news as pos. helps, and so long as I’ve had some exercise, don’t worry too much if I keep dosing off, very Mañana now. I phone a friend when the blues hit.

That's my worry to everyone going out etc. then the figures go up again. Someone please prove me wrong & I'll be happy.

Take care x

It depends where you live. In Northern Ireland there has virtually been no new cases or deaths for a fortnight. With a population of 1.9 million you’ve almost got zero chance of catching the disease.

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