Dealing with grief and pain : I just thought that I’d... - NRAS

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Dealing with grief and pain


I just thought that I’d share something with you guys. I’m currently in such a bad state, my friend’s husband died of a heart attack on Saturday and we’re both shattered beyond belief. Since Saturday my pain has been so so bad, and this is actually my 3rd night struggling to sleep because of it. My heart is broken, and I don’t know how I can cope anymore. I’ve been writing for 10 years. This is my saddest poem yet.

22 Replies

Darling Kitty. My heart goes out to you at this terrible time and I wish I had your gift for words to say something, anything, that would help you. I truly hope your poem didn't express what I inferred. That you cannot see a way to carry on and wanted it to stop. This is probably the absolutely worst time of year for something so tragic to happen and your friend is going to need every bit of support from you to get through the next few days, weeks and months. You can prop each other up and gain what little comfort you can from each other. I don't doubt your other friends will be equally upset and anxious to help in whatever way they can and you should let them. United we stand etc. Emotional upset is always going to have a bad effect on us physically so may I suggest a call to your rheumy helpline, the NRAS helpline or your GP who could help you. If you need to you can pm me. Huge hugs to you both

I’m so sorry kitty. There are no words only lots of compassion and sending you gentle hugs through the etherxxxxxxx

Im so sorry for your and your friends loss. I do understand. Look after yourself as you both need each other. It is a difficult time so let others support you as you support her.

Thinking of you.


Kitty, thinking of you both at this sad time. I can only hope that you have better days to come 💐 💐 💐

Words seem so inadequate at times like this. Thinking of you at this sad time Kitty. Sincere condolences. X

Oh kitty just woke and read your letter it made me sad please don’t give up we all feel for you and your friend their will be light at the end be strong your friend needs you I am sending you an angel and she will wrap her arms around you with love and help from us all xxxxx

Thinking of you at this terrible time, I’m so sorry for your loss. Please ring your rheumy or gp as hopefully they can at least help with your flare. Take care of yourself. X

It is a beautiful poem in its sadness and i an feel your grief coming through. Sending you both hugs for healing.xxxx

Hi sending you healing thoughts and massive hugs. You’re not alone in your grief. Lots of love 😘

I’m so sorry for you - the pain is unimaginable. One of my closest friends husband died recently and her grief is shocking to see. I try and support her as much as possible, even if it’s just a text in the morning. Nothing will take her pain away for a long time. I still can’t believe I won’t see Paul again, but I have to be there for his wife. At times crying with her whatever time of the day or night. I think it also makes you think about your own mortality and that life is short and wonderful. The sun is still shining, albeit covered by the clouds right now.

Sorry to hear about your broken heart. I know the feeling well! Time will help u heal and feel better.

My deepest and sincerest condolences its so sad especially at this time of year. x

I'm desperately sad for you and your friends. Please remember that there will always be a way forward. There will always be a door that opens. As Gnarli says, if you need to talk to someone outside your family,phone the NRAS helpline. They are there for you and do care! You are in my thoughts.

Dear Kitty, I pray you grow strong and remember the cherished memories engraved in your heart forever. It takes time I know but you will get there. 🙏

Dear Kitty, I really feel for you. There is nothing as final as death and I think it’s the realisation that nothing can bring that person (or pet) back again. That is so hard.

Sudden death of someone you love is always such a shock. It’s early days yet so don’t expect to feel good. You won’t get over it but you will get used to it and eventually you will realise that you can think of your friend’s husband without the pain you feel now and be able to remember the happy times you all had together.

Your poem is lovely but the last line - don’t do anything like that - you don’t want to leave your friend grieving on her own. Her husband will be counting on you to support her.

Cry, hurt, feel, remember the good memories🦋 Most of all be there for each other x God bless you xx

I know how you feel, I lost my dearist friend of 20 years back in may gone, I still so miss her, and have needed her, its only time that helps,time is a great healer, as time goes it gets less painful,you still miss them but it doesn't hurt so much

much love and big hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

So very sorry for you. Especially hard to cope when you are young and recently diagnosed. Have courage and take one step at a time.

So, so sorry that this is happening - thinking of you and sending gentle hugs.

My heart goes out to you my darling .please make an appointment with your doctor. And please tell him just how you feel.

Don.t hold back .because when you put it into words that may be your release its goid to talk.

And secondly we want to tell our doctor .but for some reason when. We get there we clam up.

Hugs darling xx

Very sorry Kitty no words can say how your feeling and only time to greave is the answer and slowly you can start and help your pal carry on with her life when she's ready and remember the good times yous had as time a healer although it won't feel like that at the moment but we're all here for you when your ready pet xxx

HI Kitty Sorry for your loss. I have just sent my brother your poem Hope you dont mind.He lost his wife Nov 2017 and is not coping well. He said it pretty much sums it up for him. It is a beautiful poem Thank you


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