I been feeling a little down and guilty of late. I have a young daughter she's 7 and she's coming to the age where she is very aware that mummy is in pain all the time and not able to do all the things that maybe other mums are able to do.
She was upset last night she said she was fed up of me being sad about being in pain and maybe I should pretend not to be in pain.
I told her it wasn't fair for anyone to have to pretend and she should have a little think about it. She's woke up this morning upset that she said that to me last night and has apologised. I feel awful because she obviously feeling all the emotions about it. Can't be nice seeing your mum in pain when you just want to run around the park with her.
I've had the dmards stopped and I waiting to start a biologic so I'm flaring, and because it's summer holidays she's seeing me struggle more. I feel so guilty. I do my absolute best, I struggle to walk alot so I arrange play dates and cinema and anything I can do that's sitting down, but I can't help it I do say that I'm in pain when it's gets too bad and probably look really sad. It's so difficult dealing with all this 🙁