This might be a weird post and might seem trivial to some and I apologize, but I could really use some advice. I want to be clear that I'm not here trying to look for dating advice, it's just the nature of this particular situation ties into my RA, so more or less just advice on dating with RA.
I am 31 year old female with RA. It's pretty well managed with medication and diet/lifestyle changes. I was single when diagnosed last summer and just recently started dating a man my same age, who I thought was a mature adult. We dated for a few weeks and things got progressively more serious as far as developing feelings, so finally on Wednesday I told him the big secret: I have rheumatoid arthritis. I explained what it is, how I manage it, etc. I was as positive and upbeat as one can be when announcing they have an incurable disease and even told him about the good RA has brought into my life like changing my lifestyle and diet for the better.
I didn't want to wait TOO long, but I also didn't want to blurt it out in the middle of our first date. I was afraid to tell him because I'm still trying to navigate what my future looks like with this disease, but after becoming comfortable with him and being under the impression that he was a decent person, I told him. He was supportive and said the right things, but I could tell almost immediately he lost interest. I don't know how to explain it, it was a complete shift and he ended the evening abruptly. I knew from the second I got home that it was done and over with, even though I tried to tell myself I was being paranoid.
But no, he's a goner. Hasn't spoken to me since and we had daily communication up until Wednesday. I haven't reached out to him, even though I think it's completely rude to disappear on a person you've spent time connecting with and we all deserve better. But for a minute or two I was mad at myself for telling him and then I thought, well that's silly, this is a part of who I am. And then I was mad at my RA. I know that he wasn't the right man for me if this is such a problem, but now I don't even want to date anybody again for a long time. I'm so aware of how melodramatic that sounds, but I'm just exhausted.
What is the best way to go about this next time I decide to try again? Should I bring it up sooner? Has anybody been in the situation of dating with the RA diagnosis and how did you go about telling the person you were dating? I know the right person wont care, but I feel like the odds of finding the "right person" now are just so slim, it isn't even trying. As if dating before RA wasn't annoying enough.