I am so tired. Matthew ended up in hospital with a gall stone the size of a peach pit, he's home now but they're going to set him up for surgery. I was stupid and shoveled some snow before I knew I'd be walking to and from the hospital tonight. Hands and shoulders hurt most but my last CRP was normal (I'm having a small parade) and then I got the fibro diagnosis. My last disease activity assessment came back good, but I'm still really freaking sore. It seems utterly unfair for my RA to be controlled but between fibro and old erosions, I still feel like crap.
I volunteer with the local branch of Canadian Mental Health Association, as a peer mentor. I feel like a fraud. How can I be a mentor when I feel so fragile? Still, I keep having a life despite being fragile, it's only that it has been such a long day.
I guess I don't have to ask if 3 in the morning is normal, but I'm frustrated and angry at my body. I have medical cannabis, and I'm going to vaporize a little of it, but I need to be up in 5 hours, and I need to function. So is it normal for my shoulders to feel like they're locked in the socket? Is it normal to feel nauseous after eating a banana? I feel like a collection of illnesses held together with blue hair dye. *grumble*mutter*cuss*