Mixed emotions....I'm so happy!!! Approved for Long term disability!!! :)..OMG I'm scared I've been approved for long term disability :(

I am so thankful that I've been approved for long term disabilty, I will be able to keep my home. My family and I can continue to eat, and we will be able to sleep in our beds....but I don't want to be disabled.... I would love to go back to work...I want to complain about how much I hate having to go to work on sunny days...such mixed emotions....will I ever be satisfied?

[popsmith1874]

Well done great news I'm the same as you I'd rather be working but it's just not possible and until your in this position people don't understand what strain it takes on our bodies trying to make ends meet so well done

[Hidden in reply to popsmith1874]

I can't believe how relaxed I feel this morning. I have been worrying about not being able to pay the bills in August. Yes people don't understand the strain it takes on us to make ends meet. I am very thankful.

[Dotty7]

I understand. I got full ill-health retirement from teaching three years ago, and on the one hand I was hugely relieved, but on the other felt really weird that I obviously was really disabled. However, my health has improved massively since being retired and being able to have enough rest. I also have found lots of interesting things to do, and still feel able to contribute to society. It's a new beginning. xx

[Hidden in reply to Dotty7]

Oh I like that saying "It's a new begining". That's going to be my new motto

[helixhelix]

Great news - and nice to have something to spark off your steroid roller coaster today too...

It's not necessarily forever. But allows you time and space to concentrate on your family and your health. Hopefully, once you've found a rheumy who believes in treating his patients, you'll make huge strides forward and be able to tear up your disability note. Enjoy the break.

[Hidden in reply to helixhelix]

You made me laugh Helixhelix Day 4 of steroid roller coaster lol

I'm going to my GP for a referral to a new rheumy on Monday. I was adviced by my occupational health worker to stay with the old one until appoved for the Long term disability.

My LTD plans holds my job position open for 25 months in order for me to get my health back. I hope I can go back, but if I can't I know I'll be OK. I do not have to stress about going back to work and this gives me piece of mind. Time to focus on my health, and my passion of gardening

I can not wait to get good medical treatment from a new rheumatologist. Onward and Upwards to health!!!

Take care

Sue

[MrsBones123]

Great news!! What a relief, such a worry you've had with that (and others here too) so pleased for you!!

Sure, we'd all rather be fit, well and working. Still miss my old job and my old workmates, takes a while to adjust doesn't it, but you will eventually. It's the company of my colleagues I miss. Maybe you could invite them round for a good old natter and keep in touch?

Great news no longer having to worry about your house etc. not having the stress of that.

Take care

Xxxx

[Hidden in reply to MrsBones123]

It has been such a worry. My rheumy not wanting to fill out the papers, and then cashing my cheque I paid him to fill out the papers.....I'm getting a referral to a new rheumy on monday. I am worse off now than I was back in January.

I don't have to worry about paying bills now. The stress is gone and it feels good!!

have a painfree day

Sue

[Cathy777]

Oh that's good to hear! Mixed emotions are understandable. But we have to get our priorities right and health is number one priority otherwise nothing else matters. You may eventually be able to do some charity work at your own pace so as you can feel you are contributing. I try and help out my cancer charity when I can but only when my health allows me. I know if I don't take care I will be of no use to anyone. So just enjoy the cushioning this is giving you. Breath it in and enjoy. You deserve it. Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Cathy777]

Yes we have to get our priorities right. Without your health, what do you have?

Although I did love my job, it didn't define me. I was just happy making money to help support my family. My hubby and I always "Worked to live not Lived to work."

It does feel wierd not having to work though. I grew up poor and I started working at the age of 10!! I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with my children for 11 years. It was hard living off my husbands income, but it was worth it.

I have to admit that I do feel priviledge about having my unions private Long term disability plan. The Canadian disability plan only pays around $900. Rent here is $1100 to $2500 a month.

This really makes me wonder how can this first world country of mine hold it head up.

Take care

Sue

[JacquiThomas999]

I am glad that you have some financial security. I don't think anyone wants to be labelled, but hopefully the money will help.

[Hidden in reply to JacquiThomas999]

Oh the money will help. The only label I wouldn't mind having is "Young and beautiful" lol, I don't care for the "disabled" label lol

[Crusee]

Firstly congratulations on being awarded the long term disability,but I can understand your mixed emotions.

Whether someone leaves work because of disability or for any other reason it is always a wrench.It somehow feels that your usefulness has been cropped.So you are only being dissatisfied as it is a new situation to you and you haven't yet adjusted.

However,if you were still employed you would be worrying if you will still be able to work this time next month,next year.Will you be able to keep your house,will you be able to feed your family? All these are stressful responsibilities to meet ,and the future would be very uncertain.You would be putting yourself and your family under intense pressure.

This way at least you have assurance that there will be no disruption to your home and family life ,and you can sleep well in your beds in the knowledge that it is secure .Your family can also share in that knowledge and will take the worry away from them too.

You are in the US aren't you? So not sure how your systems work over there but if you still feel that you need to do something are you able to do some volunteering for a charity ?nYou could also take on an educational study course ,and study for a qualification,even if you do not go on to use it.It will keep your mind active and those little grey cells busy.

Good luck with whatever you do in your new found freedom.

Crusee

XX

[allanah]

I know how you feel.its great not working in pain. But when I have a "good " day I feel guilty and anxious in a way that I should be at work and what would they say if they saw me feeling ok!!!!

Strange isn't it as within an hour you can feel bad again .. But at least it really helps and I do think my health is better since I got retired on ill health xx

[Hidden]

I feel so relaxed this morning. I slept well. I have time to focus on my health.

I grew up in social housing as a child and I crawled out of poverty. Work hard and you don't have to worry about the rent was my motto.

I haved worked in my union job for about 15 years. I never went to union meetings nor did I ever have to speak to a shop steward. I just did my job and never payed no mind to "the union -management" problems.

Boy oh Boy my eyes have been forced wide open to my fellow Canadians who have become disabled without the backing of a union. I realize that if it wasn't for my union''s Long term disability plan, I would have to apply to the Canadian pension disability plan. (I have to apply to this plan in 2 years if I'm still unable to work. But I will be topped up with my unions LTD plan).

The federal plan only pays $900 per month. Rent in my city is $1100 a month for a small 1 bedroom apt. The poverty for my country's disabled workers humbles me. My eyes have been opened. It sickens me that I live in a 1st world country and we treat our disabled people with such disrespect and force them to live in poverty. I am utterly disgusted!!

[hatshepsut]

So pleased that you can feel secure financially, and I'm sure that the reduction in stress will help your RD.

I respect your feelings about the difficulties faced by other less fortunate disabled workers. I share your anger about this, and this is why I had to part company with NRAS, when they supported iniquitous cuts to PIP.

Perhaps when you get proper treatment, you may be able to use your experience to help others, in a voluntary capacity, who face the same problems.

Good luck for the future! M xx

[Hidden in reply to hatshepsut]

I never new how little money disabled people recieved. Quite shocking.

My hubby was diagnosed with RA that is under control with

200 mg hydroxy a day...but as I've become aware, this doesn't mean his RA remission is guaranteed. He will only have the federal $900 disability to fall back on. Scary.

Once I get this RA controlled I will not close my eyes to the poverty of the disabled. I have been awaken.

[nomoreheels]

It's what you need Sue, otherwise you wouldn't have started the process now resolved. So pleased the worrying time is over & done with, relax a bit now & you'll feel better for it. It's been a stressful time & you know how that affects us. x

[popsmith1874]

That is the way this disease is we can be not to bad one day and then bang the next day we are struggling and we might look alright on the outside but insides a different problem and I've lost count off people saying too me oh my knees sore or I get twinges in my shoulder , I wish that was the case but now with finishing work due to ill health I feel better in myself and can rest more and not feel guilty that I'm not pulling my wait at work and when things settle down I will look for something on my terms, hope you enjoy retirement susannadale

[Jeanabelle60]

While I'm very glad that the trauma of assessment and the waiting to hear your fate is all over I do understand the paradox of wanting to be classified as disabled, for its own reasons, and the sudden awareness that you are 'officially' a person classified as disabled. After I was diagnosed and I started to go down hill rapidly I had a visit from some lovely people who came to my bungalow and told me of the things they had that would make my life easier to cope with. I was out on the day that they arrived with all the gadgets and aid but they left them at the front door. When I got home and saw the seat for the shower it hit me like a double decker bus that I really was officially disabled......take a bit of getting used to but you will.

I'm very, very glad that all the worry has been lifted off you already painful shoulders. Sit back, take a deep breath and know that, in spite of your pain, all is well again. X

[Sheila_G]

Really pleased for you. Obviously you would rather not have a disability but given that you do this is a great outcome.

[flow4]

I've just seen this... Hooray, what a relief! I get the mixed feelings about disability too, and ironically, I seem to have gone round in a sort of cycle a couple of times, where I get my head round it, accept I'm disabled, start to feel and function better, wonder whether perhaps I'm not 'really' disabled after all, feel guilty for a while for not being disabled 'enough', start to feel worse, and so on... 😬 I wonder if that ever ends...?