Where are you all ?
At the pier,: Where are you all ? - NRAS
At the pier,
Written by
allanah
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147 Replies
•
Ha ha me too I'm all excited and no one here 
I thought you were all on the train..chicken and I were late so we jumped on top of the train..I am a Christmas tree but I couldn't find a fairy so I put chicken on top...she ie either meditating or she,s in shock. What are you wearing so I recognize you? I'm cold and wet.
• in reply toTrulyfedup
Erm, which way round did you put chicken Mary? Her shock may indeed be great!
I told you not to come on my jet ski!
I'm on my way but keep tripping up on my tassels. Had a heck of a time getting here on the train with the Baileys fountain (home made).
How did you get here? I got carried in a mandarin chair! Bit nippy so have lots of blankets
I am dressed as a chestnut it suits my shape!
I have to say, I agree Allanah. I don't think that I am dressed appropriately for the weather
• in reply to
AAAAAhahahaha. Sorry Allanah - time warp. I wasn't agreeing with you being shaped like a chestnut but with the weather. hahaha
What's that jumping the moon? It's a reindeer wearing flippers and sun glasses it must be poems galore. Allanah did you have to wear those two tassels in those places?
• in reply toTrulyfedup
Tis me with the Tassels Mary. I was practising earlier when discussing Ronnie.
I have some spare blankies to cover your blushes
It's to symbolise the chestnuts in an open fire !
• in reply toallanah
Phew, warming up now
Trulyfedup• in reply to
We could roast chicken is she doesn't stop complaining about being stuck on top of Christmas tree...how rude of her.
Sorry, it's creaky wearing the tassels..Allanah not that old chestnut again...let's hope there's an open fire!!!!!!!!
Chickens beak is wide open .... I'm wet, cold but full of baileys
I have a zippo lighter if you want me to start the fire and a wee nip of brandy for medicinal purposes and yes creaky I have tassels under this x
I came in by private jet fast and stylish as I really didn't want to miss yous
• in reply toPrairie
Hi Prairie. Impressive entrance.
I can't wait to meet Santa again. Last time I sat on his knee he gave me a manicure set. I think I was about 7 at the time
I raise a toast to Ronnie and Cece after their day in hospital today
• in reply toallanah
And so say all of us! XXX
lorann• in reply to
Ah yes, just got here, all went well on the zip line until I got to the Pier, or should say almost to the Pier!!
Want to speak to the proprietor or whomever put that stop thingy for the zip line 6 feet short of the Pier!! I am dressed as Mrs Claus, sort of a modified rendition of her red outfit. Mine is a V neckline and V in back, a little short , all of flimsy, gauzy type material which is now dripping wet and conforming to my form Not to mention...any remnant of virginity no longer exists once I hit that stop!! Yeowie!!!
So do I...but I've.ve fallen off the train...chicken is flying towards you all...take care of her until I arrive...I've hurt my knees and my baubles have fallen off
• in reply toTrulyfedup
It's not that cold Mary and you're not a brass monkey
Trulyfedup• in reply to
Nope....never been called brassy but have been something near a monkey.
Thought u would be impressed with. Barry Manilow, Johnny Depp, Bradd Pitt and Jamie Foxx carrying my chair ?
Be careful of Santa..last year he didn't just have toys under his red coat!!!!!!!!!
When is the train going to leave Mary? It's a mile and a half to the end of the pier. Don't want to miss him.
Trulyfedup• in reply to
Creaky it's already gone..chicken and I fell off the top chicken flying towards you..I'm making my way...
I hope he had a hip flask!
thats not a hip flask, he was just pleased to see you :-0
Didn't take you long!!!!!!!!!!! Was that you dressed as a fairy on a jet ski?
And you wouldn't be able to protect itself from Santa with those manicured nails Creaky
Prairie...where did you land...our pier isn't very strong..a few years ago a ship went through the end of it while a man was sitting on the toilet.....
Took off so fast landed on the tip....my magic powers made it so quick...
I think it was something similar to the thermos flask Allanah that Santa had under his red coat!!!!
Have I come into ablog about Jurassic Park!
Hello Scouser! At last. Would you mind sitting down-wind of us please? Its nothing personal but....
allanah• in reply to
Smells like my house, just put brandy on the Xmas cake and parboiled the sprouts!
Don't set fire to the brandy remember you're a chestnut...is chicken there yet...I think she only has one leg now..I think I've got the other one in my hand...I'm having great trouble getting there..I might wait for next train and jump on as it passes.
Trulyfedup• in reply to
Laughing out loud now....are you sure it was just your hat he pinched...this is southend pier!!!!!!!!
I've just had a quickie with Johnny Depp.......BAILEYS. You naughty girls!!!
Well he's promised to me since he and Vanessa paradise split! So borrow creakys nail file and put the claws away!
I'm really chilled now...I've just rung Robert Redford he's riding up the pier soon
Ooh well laughing out loud going start drinking my rosé wine to celebrate with you all a very merry night....:-)))))
Wait for me, my camel isn't moving too quickly. I think she's allergic to the cold! Clemmie
Camels respond well to a kick in the ribs ! Don't worry it doesn't hurt them
Not this one Allanah, she's a bit temperamental! And very smelly! I might have to leave her and finish the journey by train.
What a smell..scouters pig journey...allanah a Brussel sprouts creaky after eating them and now a camel...I think I'm ting home
just had to go on mainframe as these posts are locking on the ipad. My jetski sank and i have been rescued by the rnli lifeboat. I am wearing a bright orange survival suit.
Chestnut and oranges for tea !
Scouser, quick hide!. The police are heading this way. They must have smelled trouble or maybe you were framed. Who was it?
Trulyfedup• in reply to
Yes it's the police...I hope you ,ve got your tin hat and the 25pds from your monopoly set
Barrister• in reply to
That's not the way trouble smells, it's my camel!
Are you sure? Have you eaten any Brussel sprouts...phew someone has
Definitely no Brussels sprouts. They've only been on the boil since October so they aren't nearly ready yet!
Didn't u fancy your Daniel Craig pants for your arrival ! After all you are competing with my chaircarriers dtech
Well, if the cap fits.
He jingled and jangled...swing low sweet chariot...
Dtech. The way things are going you're safer in your survival kit
A big fat Jaffa!!!!
Has barrister got here yet , we may have to send in a search party
Oh Lor! Me tassels have got caught in Barrister's camel's teeth. Allanah, give me back my manicure set. I need the scissors quick!
Trulyfedup• in reply to
Ohhh God this is hysterical!!!! I need to borrow the manicure set to get myself out of this mess!
In a minute once I have a photo!
• in reply toallanah
Would you like me to demonstrate my reverse swing tassel moves once I am free from the grasp of the camel and Dtech Allanah?
allanah• in reply to
Sounds like you should take up pole dancing
Tell Scouser Piorot has just walked passed me muttering something like ...what's that smell.
Hey guys! I have just arrived by zip line.....I want to speak to the proprietor, whoever put the STOP at the end of the zip line..!!!!! Gracious goodness, I was being Mrs Claus, with a variation of her red outfit..mine being similar too one worn for Strikly, V neck and V back, lots of filmy gauze, which is now dripping wet, as the zip line stop was not INSIDE the perimeter of the Pier!! Any traces of virginity have been removed!
Mary and Allanah. I think you both need to just let go - Johnny was mine, is mine and will always be mine. mwaahaha
lorann• in reply to
I DO NOT WANT TO REPORT ANYTHING AND THIS IS INTERFERRING WITH MY Ability to add comments to this existing texts!!!!!
Well in this case is am happy to be second best!
He maybe yours in your head but in his head it's Allanah and me...whose just been sick on my my favourite bauble?
Must have been my camel.
• in reply toBarrister
I thought your baubles had been frozen off as it was brass monkeys out
Barrister• in reply to
I wrapped my baubles in bubble wrap just to be on the safe side. Maybe I should bubble wrap the sprouts, they might cook a bit quicker that way.
No let's just jump on it and pop them....might get rid of your camel.
Trulyfedup• in reply to
I only have one left...my favourite so keep your mist off...oh hello Poirot....no it wasn't Scouser it was creaky..dib dob.
• in reply toallanah
I was going to ask you where your dignity was Allanah and then I remembered you were dressed as a chestnut. Orrrrrrr are you really the tractor driver in disguise leading the police to our beloved Scouser?
allanah• in reply to
It's a cop guv, I dubbed her in
Hello hello hello..is this true or is it a case of the old chestnut?
I will have to go last I think as I will cripple the poor man
And I can't go first because the momentum is still spinning me around. Gotta be Dtech or Barrister, (Last seen sand-dancing over the dunes) or possibly Poirot
Sorry guys Boyzone are on tv. Join in the break lol
Yes...it's been a whole year since I've worn a Santa out....just had a quicker with Barry......BAILEYS!!!!
My iPad keeps freezing...a bit like the baubles....
I have totally crashed out or should I say my dream machine has everything's frozen....
• in reply toTrulyfedup
Who was bringing the extra barrel? My Baileys fountain is running dry
Ah ha - Allanah has exited stage right. It has become clear that she is indeed the dirty swine who dobbed Scouser in and is now making her get-away.
allanah• in reply to
Put on it in the background, so heard you, you swindler
Oi my boys aren't for sharing! But I brought some mint matchsticks .........
Are you sure that's not chicken leg....has anyone seen her?
• in reply toTrulyfedup
Oh not=! Poirot is licking his lips.........surely not.........chickeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnn
Trulyfedup• in reply to
Oh no...
• in reply toallanah
Ok, ok. You know my weakness. Chocolate wins everytime.
Well if I sit on Santa's knee first, he'll be so overcome by the camel fumes that no one else will get the chance. Also I don't sit on strange men's knees!
I.ll introduce you...then you won't be strangers...right here goes..barrister this is Santa...Santa this is Barrister...there you go..all sorted...go sit on his lap..it's only a fiver for your Christmas surprise....that's not bad..
Sad they are so quick...sometimes I can't even remember them!
Oh my goodness them tassels of Creaky been causing such a bother to me.Mind sure that a baileys would sort me out half a barrel should do it!!!!
With all best wishes to Ronnie and Cece xxx
• in reply tomiss
Hi Miss, Welcome to the party! We've reached the end of the pier but so far we are all holding back from sitting on Santa's knee.
Barrister got a present. What did you get Barrister, what did you get? If it's better than a manicure set then I'll be having a word
It seems dtech has beaten all of us to santas knee!! Mind if i sat on santa think i might break the poor mans knees!!!!xx
Perhaps the camel could sit on Santa's knee first?
• in reply toBarrister
An excellent compromise Barrister and one that I would be more than willing to observe.
I am the type of friend who can't be trusted.
He can't be, he clashes with Santa
Trulyfedup• in reply to
That's not Santa's knee he is sitting on!!!!!!!
Well the camel got a rather nice deodorant spray from Santa.
• in reply toBarrister
That was supposed to be for Scouser. Now the camels got the hump (BOOM BOOM) Got it in first.
I'm in! What was the present and Johnny you weren't meant o eat the mint matchmakers!
• in reply toallanah
Barrister hasn't got a present yet but the camel got scouser's present.
Is scouser still in hiding?
• in reply to
Ah there you are. Right behind me.
Trulyfedup• in reply to
And I'm right behind the camel....bloody hell that was a mistake!!
Well, it's the most I've ever charged!
Remind me Scouser, exactly why are you in trouble with the police - yet again.
A least she will be warm there. I'm freezing so I think I might have to nip off home to make a nice hot chocolate. Anyone else want one?
Come on...your made of strong stufffffffff
• in reply toBarrister
Yes please. I shall have to go very soon too. My tassels are fraying. I have my reputation to uphold and this corset isn't strong enough for the job.
And just to let you all know Santa has just eaten the large satsuma that was on his lap!
oh dear hows Mary getting home ?
• in reply tomiss
She may have to use chicken's wishbone to summon alternative transport.
Trulyfedup• in reply to
It's ok..I've walked this seafront many a night..I may even make some money on way home...I'm going to have to go soon my iPad keeps freezing!!!!!!!!!
• in reply toTrulyfedup
No! I told him to keep his EYES peeled. Poor Dtech.
Trulyfedup• in reply to
Hysterical creaky.
I know local police(won't tell you why) they said they might keep Allanah for quite a while as they can smell trouble.....
Hah!!!!! Did you hear that officer? Allanah is innocent. Set her free
I must say, I'm rather partial to a nice glass of champagne but as alcohol goes straight to my knees and I've got to drive this blessed camel home tonight, I thought that I would compromise with hot chocolate with squinty cream and those nice miniature marshmallows.
• in reply toBarrister
If you see 3 wise looking men on your way home would you point them in the right direction.
Yes and she.s playing up...she wants Poirot but I've just seem him riding across the sands on a horse with Robert Redford..it's ok I had time for a quickie with Robert first.....BAILEYS
Meant too say squirty cream not squinty cream but there again the camel does seem to have a bit of a squint......
• in reply toBarrister
You can't notice it if you stand at the front Barrister.
Bye all. xxxx
I will do my best but navigation was never one of my strong points. I might be some time........
Goodnight to you all...I.ll clear up the camel "do" the split corset, the broken tassels, one squashed chestnut, the vomit(who was that?" The Brussel sprouts and the general mess...thank you all for a most wonderful evening, I have laughed out loud...my grandson says goodnight too. I'm just off to make some money along the seafront.xx (
I've just told Santa that the best present for us all will be a good recovery for Ronnie and Cece. xx
Hey guys I gort here awhile ago, had a prob with the zip line STOP at the pier, a little short of the runway so to speak..any fragmnena tof virginity has been displaced Yieowie!!!
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