Hi , I am new to this site, to be perfectly honest I have been reading several threads on here for several months now but have not posted anything because some of the posts and experiences on here although honest have frightened the life out of me. I am a 45yr old female that was diagnosed with RA last November and I feel gutted!!!!. Is there life after having RA. All alone without any emotional support from friends or family. Basically dealing with everything alone, no support groups in my area and I get sick and tired of having to tell people what's up with me just because they cannot visibly see it. I feel so alone and isolated and feel what have I done to deserve all of this and I am still grieving for my old way of life. My mind wants to do things but my body just gives out on me . I feel so depressed and I feel nobody understands. II even feel let down by my consultant whom seems to think that Methotrexate is some bloody miracle cure that I refuse to take because I live alone and fear I could not cope with any adverse effects it may have on me and the toxins put in my body.
I desperately want to work but on some days I feel so wiped out I think to myself how on earth can I stick a full time job when I feel so fatigued and I haven't even done anything. The whole thing is just getting me down. My life feels like that film groundhog day, Sorry for being pessimistic guys but is there any light at the end of the tunnel. Just being left to my own devices, don't see my consultant for another 6mths now and I am on hydroxychlorquine whuich they feel is working and I keep having to top up with diclofenic just so that I can function. Excuse the french guy's but I feel sooooooooooooo pissed off with it all.I have not been offered anything, no podiastrist or rheumy nurse and i have only had 4 hospital appointments. i feel it's a joke and I am seeing my GP tomorrow to make a complaint. As I feel that I should be monioed more closely as I feel they still haven't fully got my disease under control as of yet.