Sorry but need a rant

Hey in 5 days time I will be 200 days smoke free, nearly 7 months! Fantastic and well done I hear you say...........could one of you please find my sanity then? I Only wish I could say I felt better but sat here before my morning work alarm is due to go off sobbing into kitchen roll......yes can't be bothered to fetch hankies. I awoke at 4.15 precisely with the usual anxiety that may I add I have never suffered from until these last few months. Have I been back to sleep? Well maybe for the odd 5 minutes but woke up with yet another withdrawal symptom of sweating, yes a girl that's never been much of a sweater lol.

Anyway did I mention any of my other withdrawal symptoms? Like bleeding gums, aching joints and muscles, insomnia, anxiety, lethargy........hey the list goes on! And yes I have put weight on........the joys.

Why did I give up smoking? Partly because I have 3 fantastic, amazing kids and 3 gorgeous Grandkids that I'm sure are very proud of me........but as you all know people forget to tell you after a few weeks of smoking cessation how proud they are and how well you are doing........They don't notice you sneak out for the puff on that stinking cancer stick or notice the stale smell you bring back in with you.

I have seen 4 different Doctors and not one of them has been caring or thoughtful..........sorry but no one said it would be easy was one Doctor. Another said here take these Fluoxetine (new word for Prozac) and come back in two months if no better! Took 6 days worth and was he hadn't mentioned. Off those tablets and back to another Doctor who gave me Zopliclone (sleeping tablets) and signed me off work for a couple of weeks.....he said it was right to stop the Fluoxetine.......No he didn't offer me anything else.

I think I best stop having my rant for now although there is plenty more.

No I'm not a hypochondriac and these last 5 months have seen me nearly completely lose the plot and spend more time at the Doctors than I have in the last 20 years.......we won't mention the 8 weeks I have had to take off work..........the last time I even had a day off was in 2005 when I had to have a hysterectomy.

Sorry for ranting but I needed to because my fella hasn't any patience and generally doesn't seem to give a flying fig about anyone apart from himself ..........once again sorry for ranting lol, needed to get some of it off my chest.

5 Replies

  • Hi Wendy

    I am glad that you have found your way here to rant it's much better than picking up a ciggie after 7 months, that's what's good about this forum no-one minds and we have all had a go.

    I have never had a doctor say well done for trying to do what I'm doing, once you decide to quit unless you want medication which means paying his bill they are not interested in you which is pretty sad because encouragement for us is the best medicine.

    You are doing so well though going for 7 months I only wish I can make it also, keep in there and rant here as often as you want we honestly don't mind, try and get some nana naps if you can today to make up for the lack of sleep, I had to go to the chemist and get something also which I took for a week then my body seemed to get back into the habit again by itself, let us know his you get on and remember we are right behind you x

  • Hi Wendy, im so glad you have written that in the way you have..

    .i believe you are suffering from LOW Dopamine levels in your brain....not depression...I have been studying this subject for several years now and its relationship to stopping smoking as i knew i wasnt depressed but had similar signs and symptoms...

    When you stop smoking after being a chronic long term smoker, the dopamine system in your brain that has been hijacked for so long by the nicotine, it is unable to allow the release of dopamine efficiently and we need to reboot and regain correct working of this system Dopamine is our reward and happiness network and we can learn to switch it on to release dopamine in many other ways...

    i promise you will feel much better when you learn this and how to help it...There are many herbal suppliments to help you produce more dopamine as well as learning about positive rewarding self, just google about dopamine, you will be able to help yourself without returning to the unconcerned doctor.....I have been where you are several times in the past, even got to a year and then the sadness got the better of me. This time is the first time for me that i am very happy in myself in my stop and im almost at 6 months now, i have focused alot of energy into keeping my happy up by improving my dopamine flow...

    If you want any specific help or recomendations, please dont hesitate to message me...hope this may help a bit and please have faith that it can get alot easier, but we sometimes are not quite looking in the right places for the answers...You have done so so well, but relying on others for recognition of our achievements will only lead to further dissapointments, we have to learn to identify our own fantastic achievements and reward ourselves often...just thinking about how well you have done and saying.."well done Me" with a deep breath and a smile, you can switch on a little bit of dopamine, which in turn makes you feel happier.....its all very clever stuff...:)

  • After the weekend from hell, yes I had a melt down. I have been to the Doctors today, such thoughtful creatures they......not!

    Anyway I have been put on some anti depressants which will hopefully sort this anxiety without too many side effects. I have already tried quite a few natural products but so far to no avail. Will let you know how it goes

  • Hi Wendy, sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I quit smoking when I was 41 and six months later I was on antidepressants.

    I know it's easy for doctors to give them out without seemingly a second thought, but they may make all the difference. There are different types, so if these don't suit you, go back to the docs.

    My quit and depression ended three years later when I got divorced, but that's a whole other story. I think for me smoking seemed to suppress my emotions or maybe I did consciously.....I mean, like I feel sad, oh have a smoke. Then another. Swallow back down the sadness.

    It's good for you to rant here. I wish I had found this forum all those years ago....I might still be married!!!

    Take care of yourself.

    And remember the doctor should be there for you, if he/she doesn't listen, go to another


  • Wendy, another thing and I apologise If this is completely inappropriate..could your symptoms be worse because of your age. ....I mean, the dreaded menopause.

    I'm fifty one. Getting hot flushes and occasional moments of high anxiety....all associated with the menopause.

    Again...sorry if this is completely unrelated or none of my business!

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