As I'm not here after Thursday

I will be on my hols in Tenerife as from Friday so thought I would post the Friday joke now.

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1960 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.

He arrived at her house and rang the bell.'Oh, come on in!' Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in. 'Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?''

Iced tea, please,' Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.

So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?' she asked.

'Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach...

''Peggy likes to screw, you know,' Mom informed him.

'Really?' Fred replied; eyebrows rose.

'Oh yes,' the mother continued. 'When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!''

Is that so?' asked Fred incredulous.

'Yes,' said the mother. 'As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!''

Well, thanks for the tip!' Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.

A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse and a hoop skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail.

'Have fun, kids!' the mother said as they left.

Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her.'

The Twist, Mom!' she angrily yelled to her mother in the kitchen.

'The f*****g dance is called the Twist!

22 Replies

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  • I've seen younger hills.... but it still beats Nic's jokes ;)

    Have a great holiday, Jan :D

  • I've seen younger hills.... but it still beats Nic's jokes ;)

    Ohh they can still get worse,

    A man in his 90's, for a Special Birthday Gift from his Grandsons, is sent a Stripper to his home to entertain him. After she rings the bell of his home, she informs him that his grandsons sent her as a special birthday gift, to provide her services. The grandfather asks her, " What do you do?" She said ,"I can provide you "Sup-er Sex". “He says, “Look, I'm 98 years old, I'll take the Soup!"

  • Ha! Ha!

    Still working on a joke, just want to wish Jan a Happy Holiday - and DON'T smoke ok? Take your knitting with you ! :D

  • Ha! Ha!

    Still working on a joke, just want to wish Jan a Happy Holiday - and DON'T smoke ok? Take your knitting with you ! :D

    I won't, definitely not. Got plenty to keep my hands busy and mind occupied - nudge, nudge, wink wink, if you know what I mean:D:D

  • Got plenty to keep my hands busy and mind occupied - nudge, nudge, wink wink, if you know what I mean:D:D

    Ooooooh! You are awful.............but we like ya! :):D

  • I won't, definitely not. Got plenty to keep my hands busy and mind occupied - nudge, nudge, wink wink, if you know what I mean:D:D

    You be careful on those chandaliers... look what happened to me!!

  • You be careful on those chandaliers... look what happened to me!!

    PMSL

    Don't have that sort of thing in their apartments. The wardrobes are built in up to the ceiling as well. They do have revolving fans - now there's a thought.:D Look good flying off in a different direction wouldn't it? LOL I'll have to find a picture for this post.

  • Enjoy Jan How long you going for you lucky git. Lol xxxxxxxxx

  • Enjoy Jan How long you going for you lucky git. Lol xxxxxxxxx

    LOL - Just a week but I've been told it is sunny and quite hot there at the moment. Let's hope it remains that way.

    See you soon - take care xx

  • Have A great time:D

    xx

  • Have a great holiday Jan, think of us poor people left in the cold!:(

  • Have a great holiday Jan, think of us poor people left in the cold!:(

    I will (not) when I'm by the pool soaking up the sun:D:D (Meanie aren't I) (only teasing you;))

  • Have a great time I hope its hot and sunny for you! Yes I admit it I'm jealous :(

  • Hi hope you have a lovely holiday have fun x

  • How was your holiday Jan?

    Good I hope.

  • How was your holiday Jan?

    Good I hope.

    Yes thanks Nic, but I am ashamed to tell you that I have caved yet again. I have no real good reason as to why, unlike you, Linda, whose post I have recently read. I hope things are starting to improve with you now though.

    Anyway, suffice it to say I have caved but I will be seeing the nurse on Tuesday and asking if I can be put back on patches and inhaler again. I don't seem to be able to get on with these tablets and have never been all that happy taking them. As I had a reasonably successful quit for at least six months I think I might be better off using them instead and of course reading a lot of your web sites Nic. More than I have been anyway.

    I am thoroughly ashamed of letting everyone down, especially myself and I really need to get my head into gear with this quit so although I will be reading the posts I won't take active part until I have definitely started my quit date this time.

    I would like to wish everyone all the best with their quits and thank you all for your support in the past. See you all soon.

    Jan xx

  • That's a shame Jan, and I posted because I was worried that you had.

    Holidays are such trigger points.

    Ahh well, pick yourself up dust yourself down and well see you back when you're ready.

  • That's a shame Jan, and I posted because I was worried that you had.

    Holidays are such trigger points.

    Ahh well, pick yourself up dust yourself down and well see you back when you're ready.

    Aren't they just. As a certain actor/politician said once "I'll be back". With my head in the right place this time. Think I'll make it a Chrissy present to myself.:rolleyes:

    Take care.

  • Hi Jan

    I know just how you feel. Its mad we can do a few months then our head just losses the fight. Please come back soon. Im hoping this is the one for me but the first week is a test to be honest. im going ct again I find it dont give me so many bad day but may just be me. No body knew i had caved exept my parner and I was not proud hiding it from everyone so now at least i dont have to get one in when ever i can HEHE. Speak soon thinking of you. Linda xxxxxx

  • Hi Jan

    I know just how you feel. Its mad we can do a few months then our head just losses the fight. Please come back soon. Im hoping this is the one for me but the first week is a test to be honest. im going ct again I find it dont give me so many bad day but may just be me. No body knew i had caved exept my parner and I was not proud hiding it from everyone so now at least i dont have to get one in when ever i can HEHE. Speak soon thinking of you. Linda xxxxxx

    Thanks Linda. I think you should give yourself a pat on the back that you have the courage and willpower to quit with all that's going on in your life at the moment. I really admire you and your spirit in quitting. We shall do this Linda and I will be back as soon as I've got my head straight, which hopefully won't be too long;). Take care and see you soon.xxx

  • Sorry to hear of you caving, Jan.

    Never mind - onwards and upwards :D

  • Likewise I was sad to read that you had caved...but hope that you did have a good holiday :)

    Please quit when there is an opportunity to get a great quit team name such as your last team. :D:D

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