Disappointed but won't give up

[lovelywife]

Update....I found out on Friday that my husband was Not a match for me. Also the team doesn't think he'll make a good candidate for my living donor. It was a blow to hear both but I'm grateful that he was willing to help me.

[Charlene_Coxhead]

I really feel for you both my mum and dad tried to be my donor both directly and through the paired exchange and after 18 long months it didn't go to plan, we even had a date so I really feel for you as I don't really think we are prepared for that rollercoaster. Part of me was relieved as hated them doing through with a surgery they didn't need even though I loved them so much for trying. They like your husband are probably feeling guilty that they had let you down. We know this isn't the case but be prepared for him to get angry and frustrated.

You have a lovely husband to try to help and I would encourage you to both reach out if you need it.

I'm sorry it didn't work out. Try to look forward and hopefully you can get on the transplant list as soon as possible.

Take care

Charlene

[lovelywife in reply to Charlene_Coxhead]

Oh you do know...Thank you for your kind words.

[Charlene_Coxhead in reply to lovelywife]

It's hard but keep taking to each other which I am sure you are. When my mum got frustrate and angry it felt like it was directed at me but it truly isn't. I come up with the name of angstrated. This is a natural process for the person that can't help there loved one.

[blackkat2]

I had a similar situation with my sister, except that my clinic took 5 months to complete the evaluations and, after rejecting her as my doner, they wouldn't even give her any clue as to why. She felt she'd failed me somehow and I hated making her go through that. In retrospect, I think that was the hardest part of the whole transplant journey.

[hmysel]

Read this article about incompatible donors. If you have questions feel free to contact me at: [e-mail]

lkdn.org/Paired_Exchange_Co...

[MomofRecipient in reply to hmysel]

Thank you for posting the article.

[Gotthecall_123]

Sorry to hear 🙏 I’m glad to hear you have a good attitude 🙏having a good attitude is half the battle keep the faith never give up. I was on dialysis for 7 years and finally I made the transplant list I am now 9 months 💪 good luck 😝Dave

[PotatoeBacon]

It is ok, my GOD!!!! IS IN CONTROL. He knows what's best, I had 8 phone calles went into hospital 4 different times got down to pre-op room , for the DOC to tell me the kidney was no good for me, that the vessels in the kidney wall wasn't a great match for me, or that the biopsy, didn't come back good.😧😧😧😧😯😯🙊🙊 so many mixed emotion me an my husband was goin through. My mom an my aunt was tested , an they were not good matches. It was a little 💜 breaken but I looked @ (My GOD KNOWS What HE IS DOING I HAVE 2 LET HIM WORK) AN THAT IS WHAT I DID, SO IN 2016 SEPT 4TH I GOT ANOTHER PHONE CALL DIDN'T GET EXCITED, WAS REALLY CALM, WENT IN, ON SEPT 5TH 5AM. IN PRE-OP DOC CAME IN AN SAID (THIS THE ONE, THIS WILL LAST YOU FOR YEAR'S). 2 YEARS IN . NO MORE DIALYSIS SINCE 2016, SEEMS LIKE 10 OF DIALYSIS WAS JUST GONE!!!!!!! SO DON'T WORRY UR IN GREAT ✋. It will work out for the good.

[sidmoesr]

Lovelywife I can relate to the disspointrment of being so close & then to get that heartbreaking news that your not a match. I traveled to another state, I was prepped for surgery & got down to the surgery only to find out that the kidney went to another patient that matched closer. I was devistated, then to have to call my entire family to tell them it wasn't a match but I didn't lose heart & I didn't get discouraged it motivated me to not give up & that's what I want you to do LovelyWife DON'T GIVE UP, GET MOTIVATE!!!! every morning you wake up say out

loud I WILL RECEIVE A HEALTHY KIDNEY THAT MATCHES ME PERFECTLY!!!!

That's what I did and one month and one week later they called me back with a kidney that matched me perfectly & I'm doing great because I spoke it then I saw & LovelyWife you will to I'm praying & pulling for you, GOD BLESS YOU LOVELYWIFE & remember NEVER GIVE UP!!!!

[March-31-09]

Sorry to hear that about your husband not being your match. What about paired donation? Ask the NKF office in your area ( or else yes National office in NY about this exciting option