The old patient went to the Nephrologist for a follow-up and to receive his test results to see if he is in Kidney Failure. The doctor said, "I have bad news. You are in Kidney Failure, and you also seem to have Alzheimer's." The old guy interrupted the doctor and said, "Well, at least I don't have Kidney Failure."
~~~~~~~~~~
If animal organs were compatible with humans...
Your dog would offer you his kidney even if he only had one that worked.
Your cat would show up one morning with 37 kidneys in a sack and tell you to pick one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Dialysis patients were chatting in the waiting area of the Dialysis Clinic. One patient said to the other, "My Kidney Failure was caused by Diabetes. What caused yours?" The other patient replied, "Mine was caused by High Blood Pressure which I got from my wife's side of the family." The initiator of the conversation said, "That's impossible! You cannot get High Blood Pressure from your wife's family!" He replied, "You have not met my wife's side of the family."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Dialysis Patient complained, "When my Nephrologist goes over my monthly labs with me, he always begins by saying, 'good morning' and then proceeds to tell me why it is not."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Renal Dietician admonished a CKD patient, " You are too serious. Take life with a grain of salt." And the patient responded with a puzzled look, "Are you joking?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man unlocks a genie, and the genie tells him that he will grant him one wish, but whatever he wishes for, all lawyers in the world will be granted double.
The man thinks long and hard about his one wish, and calmly states "I wish to donate a kidney"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Wisconsin a woman donated a kidney to a dairy farmer and he was so grateful he agreed to marry her. The preacher said "what God has joined let no man put asunder."
The groom interrupted, "what's asunder?"
The preacher said "apart".
The farmer said "a part of what?"
"Apart from your wife" said the now frustrated minister.
The groom said "S##t! I already got a part from her."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was hospitalized for 3 weeks.
He became enamored with a young pretty nurse.
He sent her a note saying "You have stolen my heart".
The Young Nurse in panic responded "No sir, we have stolen your kidney, we haven't touched your heart".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stage 1 Chronic Kidney Disease
Switch diet to Vegetarian - save your kidneys
Kidney biopsy doesn’t show signs of disease
Electrolytes and Kidneys 
kidney transplantation
