Message for Caz28.🌻

Evening Caz as you are aware I can't post this on your thread as it doesn't allow you to post a picture.

Bereavement is a process which we all go through. Any loss can create the same feelings as a bereavement does when a loved one dies. However loss of role- loss of finance- loss of job etc we also follow a bereavment process. There is lots of different theories of how this affects us.

Worden's model of grief attached explains the process. Intetestingly there is no time frame for completion for bereavement .

I can assure you your grief and the feelings you have are very normal. For a full version of Worden's grief model have a look on line. It's very interesting makes sense and I hope provides you with some comfort.

It's hard very hard. I know when I have had my animals put to sleep due to old age and the complications that go hand in hand with age I have felt a traitor. However deep down inside I realised their time had come and it would have been cruel to keep them going -for me.

I have cried and cried until I was physically sick - I understand how you feel.

You are probably in stage 2 however you can also move back to 1 many times before you move to stage 3.

I hope this helps Caz - give it time. Things are still very raw. It will get easier. Molly brought you joy and love she came to you for a reason 😐

[IndigoBlue61]

Wise words ❤️

[Hidden in reply to IndigoBlue61]

Thank you Anna

[elliebath Maintainer]

Yes it can take a long time and its true that one can yo-yo back and forth between stages quite unexpectedly.Sadly I was not offered any help or counselling when I was sixteen and lost my mum , and I don't think I safely reached stage 4 until my middle age.

[Hidden in reply to elliebath]

Hi Ellibeth yes I can understand exactly what you are saying.

Sadly some never ever reach stage four -it's just too difficult for them to comprehend and that's also ok. We are all different and approach things in different ways.

Sometimes we all get stuck in our grief and just knowing thats fine it happens - we are normal takes the pressure off.

You often hear people say I should be over this now however when it is an unexpected death it does have a significant impact on us.

Anger is an emotion that is difficult to move forward with it creates the "why" question.Why didn't I .....why didn't they.....and sometimes sadly there isn't an answer.

Time heals - and it doesn't mean we forget. 💞

[elliebath Maintainer in reply to Hidden]

Absolutely. Thanks Truly, hopefully Caz will be reassured at least .

[Caz28]

Thank you so much for taking the time to post this, and sharing your own experiences too. It is really helpful, and something I can really relate to. I think you are absolutely right and I have kept slipping back into stage 1. I have received wonderful advice and support on here and I can't thank you enough, it's really helping x

[Hidden in reply to Caz28]

It will get better - and we never forget 💛