Very strange change of attitude

Very strange change of attitude

This is obviously a good thing, so I'm no way dampening this whole thing.

But weirdly, I've been finding myself looking at my body, a bit more positively lately?

Like, usually I would hate seeing myself in the mirror or in clothes, hated it. But recently - not to sound vain - I've sort of been liking what I'm seeing? Stretch marks & lumps and all.

I know it is a good thing, but it is wierding me out at the moment. The only way I can explain it, is that I am seeing myself, slimmer?? Or just not as horrendous as I usually do. Like I hate my arms, thighs and stomach, I still look and go "ew", but it doesn't bother me?

I went out with my soon to be room mate at the weekend - wore my first pair of jeans in ages and a completely strappy top, and loved it. I didn't at all feel self conscious about the way I looked, I felt I looked slim, despite being my size and weight.

I bought 2 pairs of jeans at the weekend (I actually can't remember the last time I wore a proper pair of jeans) one in my size, an 18 and one in an 8 (this was a mistake). Usually seeing a size 8 in front of me I'd be all depressed and go into a spiral of self hate and ask myself why I'm so fat (fully knowing the reason why of course). This time I was just like "ha, I wouldn't even be able to get a foot in these" and exchanged them this morning - with no shame or guilt. (I did for a moment consider keeping them as a goal (like split second) but my hips are FAAAR too wide to ever be able to fit in to a size 8, besides I have size 16s and 14s for fitting goals anyway)

I don't know, my ultimate goal is to fit in to size 12s - I hope with determination I'll manage that for this time next year! (Pulling my socks up rn)

This is clearly a good thing, I know that and I like it, because I'm just not focussing on what I look like all the time - I still have a slight worry about how other people see me, but that's a psychological issue derived from a sh***y relationship! I'll get over that eventually - But I just feel more relaxed with myself.. It's nice.

Though I do still detest myself in photos haah.

I don't know how long this will last though, my holiday is with my size 10 friend, so the bikini shopping horror is yet to come and the holiday photo horror too! We shall see!!

I hope everyone is beginning to be a little less harsh on themselves and bumping up their positive body attitudes! It feels good to feel like you look good, whether you've lost inches or not!!!


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11 Replies

  • I love this positive attitude! Whatever changes you've made to your diet seem to have had a really positive effect on you :)

    Food affects us in so many more ways than our weight. Perhaps you have managed to eliminate some foods which weren't having a good effect on you? It might be worth trying to figure out which ones so you can make sure to avoid them.

  • Well, I think I am eating a lot less crap. When I was with my ex, we ate quite badly, with snacking and takeaways. But I think where now I'm having to buy and cook for myself - I can't afford the takeaways as often! I just tend to buy less stuff. I spend my money on more dinner things and less snacky stuff - don't get me wrong, I still buy crisps and I have sorbet in my freezer ha. But it is nothing compared to before.

    Think now I'm having to think about what I'm buying and I'm making big batches of soups/stews that I can freeze. I've just become a bit more aware on what I am spending it on.

    The crappy food doesn't make you feel any good (sometimes it can be satisfying) so I think in return gives you the feeling of guilt and shame you've just eaten it etc!

  • That's really great .

    I think this all is happening because of your positive thinking of losing weight and going for exercises or whatever you are doing to achieve your goal.

    You keep going steady and regular and you will see the results according to your desired size soon.

    Best of luck.

  • Brilliant, really happy for you! :-)

  • This is very definitely a good thing Plum and one to be encouraged and congratulated! You're making positive changes to your life and with that, comes positive thinking :)

    I too feel great about myself, until I'm confronted with a photo, or a reflection in a shop window :) Before those things, I picture myself as young and slim, because that's the way I feel! :D

    Hang onto those great feelings, because you deserve them just as much as the next person and don't worry what anybody else thinks, but I'm guessing that your inner confidence is shining through and that's exactly what people are seeing :)

    You really are gorgeous, inside and out! :)

  • Hope those holiday photos will show a huge, confident smile on your face - and that will light you up and make you beautiful! Stay focused....!

  • I think a major part of all our journeys is how we treat and look at ourselves. To be kind and loving and responsible. This can be the hardest part for some people so it is brilliant that you're coming along in this way. Massive well done, you're doing really well. Continue to be kind to yourself, after all you are your life partner. ;)

    Sazkia x ♥

    PS,. I really am happy for you, this is a break-through so many struggle with. :)

    x X ♥ X x

  • Hey you have turned a corner of acceptance of yourself, enjoy your new figure as it changes😊 I have just noticed I have knees starting to appear funny these things you notice isn't it? 👍

  • Really interesting post and love the quote! It's amazing how looking after ourselves, eating healthily and taking exercise can have the knock on effect of changing our mindsets for the better. Pleased you are feeling so positive, be confident and have a great holiday!

  • I'm a bit like that. I also like noticing the changes I see in the mirror. I was already to consider swimming, looked at not costumes but dresses then noticed my legs and re-considered.

  • Lovely positive and uplifting post 😊😊😊 love the photo, one of my favourite quotes 😊

    I know what you mean about liking your body more 😊 I look in the mirror a lot more now, and manage to find things I like 😊 This is one step on a journey of improving self esteem 😊

    Enjoy your holiday, invest in a good swimsuit that you feel good in 😊 There are some great websites that suggest outfits that suit different shapes that I find useful, hour glass, pear etc. We all have a skinny size 10 friend but believe you me not everyone finds that attractive, we are all attracted to different looks and luckily my hubby likes curvy women ❤️ And I'm sure she will have body issues too!!

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