My feel good is officially gone... - Weight Loss Support

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My feel good is officially gone...

Fit-ishPlum profile image
20 Replies

Okay. So as I predicted, my feel good vibes have disappeared completely.

Today all my clothes for my holiday arrived. Out of 11 items, I only get to keep 3!! 3 of them!! D: I am debating on keeping 2 though.

The bikini tops didn't - which isn't what I'm worried about - they don't go up big enough in tops, so both of those sets are going back.

I'm having to send 2 dresses back as they looked absolutely heinous on me! I'm debating on keeping 2 crop tops, as now I have found a pair of jeans to wear.

But My like myself mojo has disappeared... I'm scathing with self hate now, at the way I look. I look better in winter layers than summer skimpy..... I look massive in everything I put on at the moment... :(

Really wish weight loss was instant...

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Fit-ishPlum profile image
Fit-ishPlum
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20 Replies
moreless profile image
morelessAdministrator7 stone

All is not lost Plum, when is your holiday? Maybe, if you've got time, you could use these clothes as incentive to really buckle down to your healthy eating and exercise :)

Don't only go by your assessment of what the clothes look like on you, because we are always our own worst critics. Ask people you trust, to be honest (not brutal) with you, for their opinions.

Keep the crop tops, because if you feel OK, then you are OK :)

Love the body you have, because I bet everyone else loves you, just the way you are :)

Fit-ishPlum profile image
Fit-ishPlum in reply to moreless

I have 5 weeks before I go now. They've gone so quickly and the closer it comes, the more I'm dreading it.

Last time I went away I was a size 16, but this time I'm an 18 and it feels horrible. I bought about 4 dresses, thinking they'll look fine, but dresses on my shape, are really unflattering - getting a bit sick of having to wear shorts all the time ha.

I have a pair of 16 shorts I was hoping to get in to. But I don't think 5 weeks is long enough to drop a size... :S

moreless profile image
morelessAdministrator7 stone in reply to Fit-ishPlum

You could have lost 1/2 stone by then, but you shouldn't be focused on your weight. The important thing, is to love the person you are right now! Your size doesn't define who you are as a person and it doesn't make an iota of difference to your loved ones. Please don't waste your life by hankering after a slim body. I've done just that and regret it so much now! All my young years, when I thought I was too fat to do anything, gone and now, when I look back, I realise I wasn't as fat, or ugly as I thought and I was young!

You have 5 weeks to prepare for your holiday, take the time to eat healthily, exfoliate your skin, to give you a nice healthy glow, maybe try a fake tan as well. Get your hair done, have a manicure and pedicure, make sure your packing is organised, so that when you go, you'll look healthy and relaxed and you'll have a lovely time, amongst strangers who are more concerned about their own cellulite, to give a monkeys about yours :)

Have a truly wonderful holiday and enjoy every minute of it :)

DartmoorDumpling profile image
DartmoorDumplingRestart Feb 2024

You should come and have a holiday on Dartmoor - no unnecessary exposing of the body needed! Certainly not a bikini in sight....

More seriously, you could wear some loose floaty shirts and arm yourself with a big smile - people will notice the smile and ignore the rest! Don't let your self-consciousness spoil the enjoyment of your holiday. There will be a whole lot of other women on the beach feeling just as body-conscious as you, and the aim is to get active and have a great time!

Caz28 profile image
Caz28

Hi, sorry you are dissapointed. I never buy clothes online for that very reason, you never know if they will suit you until you try them on and sizing varies so much from shop to shop. For example I have 3 different pairs of size 14 jeans from before I put weight on, 1 is now baggy, 1 fits nicely and the other are a wee bit tight on the waist. Will you have time to go shopping and buy a couple of things that you do feel nice in? Please don't let this spoil your holiday.

Fit-ishPlum profile image
Fit-ishPlum in reply to Caz28

I bought them online, as Holiday clothes are now wearing very thin in the shops where I live. Their sale stuff is miniscule and it's all dominated by autumn clothes now. So I had to look online. :( It all looks great on the size 6 models, as always.

It's more about money than time. I now have to wait for refunds before I can shop again. I go in 5 weeks.

It might be that the style of clothes just doesn't suit. For instance I could not wear a fishtail skirt. Some styles flatter more than others. So remind yourself it's not your body. It's the styles.

Fit-ishPlum profile image
Fit-ishPlum in reply to

For one of the items, that was true, for the rest it was just that every little lump and what-have-you showed and it really did make me look like a blob of jelly, than a person with a figure...

in reply to Fit-ishPlum

Maybe try them on in the shops first (Did you have them delivered?) until you find out the size and style that flatters you most :-) If a garment shows off too many lumps and bumps, then it's either the wrong shape or the wrong style.

Fit-ishPlum profile image
Fit-ishPlum in reply to

I did indeed have them delivered. Holiday/summer stuff is fast dissipating in shops, even sale items. And a friend recommended the online store, as she'd ordered a lot of their sale stuff for a good price. Which I did. But just the half of it just doesn't suit me and made me look awful. Dresses are clearly not tailored for pears...

IndigoBlue61 profile image
IndigoBlue61 in reply to Fit-ishPlum

I know the feeling!! It's hard but by trying in lots of different styles you will one that suits you 😊 Emphasise you good bits, curves or whatever 😊 modern dresses are often cheap and shapeless 😕 I like a swimsuit with sarong tied round the waist, shows off my boobs and slim shoulders but hides wobbly thighs 😊

Good luck

albinohedgehog profile image
albinohedgehog

Heya. I know that feeling. Trying clothes on can be really demoralising. . Try to remember though you are doing something about how you feel, and one day maybe sooner rather than later you will look in the mirror and think 'yeah I look pretty good!' Focus on the future, and use how you feel now to get there.

Also be kind to yourself, imagine what you would say to a friend in your situation.

Hugs

Hedgehog xx

Fit-ishPlum profile image
Fit-ishPlum in reply to albinohedgehog

I know. I'm trying. I have kind of redeemed myself with a new bikini to replace the 2 I had to return. It's really cute and fits well. So I feel a little better. I've been forcing myself to wear it of an evening just to feel like it's okay and there's nothing to be disgusted with. As weird as that sounds... wearing a bikini indoors and staring in to the mirror!

Think it is always easier to dish out the advice to others than to apply it to yourself XD

albinohedgehog profile image
albinohedgehog in reply to Fit-ishPlum

I know im the same. Good at advice, not so good at doing all the right things myself lol. Especially being kind to myself-that is like a lifelong challenge. ☺

MrNiceGuy profile image
MrNiceGuy

How many days/weeks do you have before you’re due to go on holiday?

Additionally, do you exercise regularly?

If you don’t exercise, on the assumption that you’re consuming sufficient calories to satisfy BMR, you could expect to lose around 1lb a week in the run up to your holiday.

However, if you do exercise regularly, you could expect to lose 1-3lbs per week, particularly if lean protein consumption remains high (40% of daily intake) and consumption of simple carbohydrate is reduced considerably, in favour of complex varieties (beans, pulses and veg), while fat is obtained from oils, seeds and nuts, for example.

Given your user name, however, I’d be inclined to suggest that you do exercise.

As such, if your level of fitness allows, aim to introduce twice weekly HIIT cardio sessions into weekly regime (30s hard/1 min recovery, repeated for 20 minutes) upon your favourite piece of cardio equipment.

Even if HIIT is beyond you, by increasing the level at which you cycle (interval training), for example, you’ll be increasing the uptake of glucose and fat throughout, helping to ensure that more calories are burned, thus, increasing insulin sensitivity.

The harder the level of exertion, the greater the improvement in body composition (inches lost). While you may consider your current position to be hopeless, provided you don’t jet off for a few weeks, you can rest assured all is not lost.

Visit the gym as often as you can, since you’d be surprised at what can be accomplished.

Sailsalot profile image
Sailsalot

I am a great believer in ignoring the clothes size label, they can vary a lot from one retailer to another anyway, maybe order some different sizes/ makes before your holiday. Generally things that fit well and are not too tight are the most flattering, cut the labels off the ones you keep if you don't want to see the number. At least you were trying the clothes on at home, I find those 360 deg mirrors in shops with terrible lighting particularly harsh! Seriously though try not to get down about it, we've all been there, you just need to find a couple of things that you like and look really good in and you will feel better about yourself. When I was losing weight I bought a few things from ebay, they are cheaper and good for holiday wear, no point spending a huge amount as you will soon be smaller :) Wishing you luck!

Fit-ishPlum profile image
Fit-ishPlum in reply to Sailsalot

I felt that about my jeans, when I bought them. But I think the fact summer/holiday clothes are so skimpy and revealing, it just shows everything. Jeans and long tops cover everything up.

I shall need to just get this holiday over and done with, then use any photos as progress pictures for next year's holiday! Because I WILL be slimmer and happier...!

Anon-E-Mouse profile image
Anon-E-Mouse in reply to Fit-ishPlum

You sound much more positive now Fit-ishPlum and a good idea to take encouragement from the photos this year, I'm sure you'll be slimmer by the next year's holiday.

You say you need to get this year's holiday over and done with, I do hope that you enjoy it too, and anna54 suggestion of a sarong is a very good idea. Personally I'd also wear a loose 'floaty' long sleeve blouse to cover the tops off my arms. It would also give some protection from the sun 🌞

Whatever you decide to pack, have a great time (in five weeks time) when you do go away 👙 🏄 🏊🏼 🚣🏻 🏖

Mouse 🐭

Anon-E-Mouse profile image
Anon-E-Mouse

Don't feel too disheartened Fit-ishPlum quite often clothes look good with the slim model and all the lighting and other tricks the photographer uses in the advert. I've found that clothes that don't look good on hangers actually do when tried on, and vice versa. 👗

I can't add much to all the advice others have given, but would say two things. Firstly sizes are all different. I am now in size 12 jeans, but my shorts are (believe it or not) size 20!! Secondly, when I was losing weight and my shape changed, I got some clothes at the charity shops and returned them when they became too big (well, technically they didn't get bigger, I got smaller!) 😃

Lastly, I don't think there's any overweight person who hasn't wished losing weight was instant. 😄 And the new you is for life, not just a holiday. It's also lovely how much people on here care.

Cheer up, have some ((((hugs)))) and use the next five weeks to your advantage. Then have a great holiday, and moreless is right (as usual), other people are usually more concerned over how they look rather than how you look.

Good luck 🍀

Mouse 🐭

radioactiveblue profile image
radioactiveblue

We are all different shapes, even within the same size, and manufacturers often don't take that into consideration. I know it's disappointing, but you've done brilliantly and I bet you're looking great.

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