I wrote earlier about some problems I have. I have had a long hard talk with myself (at home I don't want to be known as the old woman who talks to herself just yet!), and I'm not going to give up on this weight loss journey. I have made a start and must look forward I do not want to go back. I will make more of an effort to count calories although I haven't been doing that much because of the small amount I used to eat. I have measured my waist which is 37 1/2 inches. I've posted this figure so that it is out there and hopefully will give me some responsibility to get it lower.
As for my Family, I will have to take each day as it comes and try to help them as much as I can, but try to realise that I can't do everything. I do so hope this doesn't sound selfish to you and I'm sorry for the long post, but writing it down is feeling good. I hope this is the right thing to do.
I miss not having anyone to talk to but will use this board if that is ok. Xx
I think you are right I was trying to help too many members of my family financially and ones with ill health, I even gave my job up to do this, I ended up with depression and near a breakdown just a few months ago.
I thought about a headmistress who I worked with recently and she always said " we are all responsible for ourselves the majority of the time" I then realised I had been taking on board most of the families demands and workload whilst others did nothing, so a new me was born and now I stick to that little saying I am responsible for myself so I need to care for myself more hence firstly the weight loss, then hopefully a new job. I am slowly saying NO to assumptions I will help as in order to help others first you have to help yourself. So no I don't think you are selfish quite the opposite, look after yourself, help when you can but only when you want to and stick on here for encouragement it's amazing how I am finding myself with more assertiveness and confidence as I loose weight.
That was a brilliant post Itsbab, I wish I'd read that a few weeks ago when looking after my husband. You do have to look after yourself sometimes as if you are not good how can you look after others. I just wish I would listen to myself sometimes but reading your post has made me feel so much better. Thank you
We are all here to help each other, if I can make someone like/feel better about themselves then today has been a good day.
I hope everything is ok with you, was your husband poorly? We all have this little voice inside telling us to slow down, ask for help but 9 times out of 10 we ignore it then we are in trouble. I was brought up to get on with it, try to do things alone but now I realise we all need help and it's not wrong to ask for it that's why I am here now on this forum getting all the encouragement and advice I can from you lovely people and if I can help a little in return then it's win, win.
Hope you are enjoying this lovely weather 🌞 my dogs have the fan on in the kitchen and I am here melting. I don't quite think I am taking my own advice somehow lol!😊
You've definitely been win win, thank you. I hope your dogs manage to keep cool it's so hard for them, this weather, as well as us. My husband had a serious operation a few weeks ago, more tests are coming but we are getting through, as you say support from this forum has been great. Just having someone listen and care sometimes is very comforting.
Have a lovely Wednesday, I think the weather is supposed to break tomorrow.
I hope your husband feels better soon and the test results are favourable. There's always someone here to listen if you ever want a chat just send me a message I am not sure how you do that myself but I am a good listener. Look after yourself hope you are both coping in this humid weather 😰 Best wishes for a sunny Wednesday 🌞
Well done for talking to yourself in a positive way (we often tell ourselves we are useless for not being able to lose weight and failures for not fulfilling all the demands that life throws at us - and it usually does.... In bucket loads .....) You can and will do it despite the setbacks. Please don't apologise for ANYTHING - you don't need to get anyone's permission to write down what is happening or bothering you as in the short time I've been on this site I have met only encouragement and help. We are all in the same boat (luckily only figuratively and not literally as that could prove to be more than interesting!! ) and your post could've been written by me only yesterday. Itsbab is great and has written to me and I think we all have similar stories and find things particularly difficult due to caring too much (again both literally and figuratively) and we do have to take a step back and look to take care of ourselves as we would our families because if we don't we are no good to them either.
Be kind and gentle to yourself - love yourself as you do those around you for whom you care - you are just as important as anyone else.
See - I've written an even longer post and the world has not collapsed round my head (yet...... .....) Big hugs, Marylou
A lovely post Marylou and you really seem positive now and I hope you taking care of yourself better. It is amazing how we can suddenly realise how we have neglected ourselves and actually by stepping back to help ourselves we are in a better place to help others.💐 Happy Tuesday to you it's going to be a hot one!🌞👍
Tons of stuff happening here - some I am in control of and others .....well let's just say that it's trust in the universe to sort it out
Had big wobble over weight then realised that all part of learning curve and with encouragement from community here nothing is impossible! ! Everything is relative. Today is good day - too hot for comfort though!! Have a wonderful day Bev and take care too x Thanks again
good for you Bobbivee and best of luck! I have only been here about 6 weeks and have started over a couple of times. I need to start over now as I have not been counting calories as I should. Family should be there to support you as well as you support them, I know as my family does not support me much. I think we are here to hear you and your issues and to help as much as possible. as for the long post, I am guilty of the same in nearly all my posts so hopefully it is all good. I for one am here for you! I am always trying to do everything for my family and all it does is make me feel bad so I am trying not to help as much. I can only do so much and as long as I remember that, I feel good about what I can do. hopefully that helps you too.
Hi Katy Once again a positive post from you and I hope you are doing well on your journey.
You are right, just do what you can for your family knowing you have done your best.
Everyone here is 100% behind you on your journey and even though you need to start again you are on the right track.
I too don't get much family support although it is getting better but with all you lovely people out there I really don't need it as we all help each other 👍😊
Sometimes it is right to be selfish, you are bound to feel guilty. I know I did but I started to see and feel the results of putting me first before everyone and everything else and knew I had done the right thing.
It's a hard thing to do roberval when you are not used to it, putting yourself first sometimes, but we have to learn. It can be very disappointing when you hope you'll get support and you don't. Once again this forum is supportive. Thank you
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.....) Big hugs, Marylou
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