Fat and fed up

So here I am at quarter past midnight feeling sorry for myself. I am 5ft 3 and weigh around 15 stone. I know that I am a comfort eater when I'm at my lowest I grab something sweet. The thing with diets is that I feel really motivated for the first 2 weeks then I creep back to old habits. I've been spending more time looking after my husband than looking after me. I used to love bike rides being out in the fresh air especially now it's a little chillier. I stopped because of my husbands disability and felt that if I went for long walks or long bike rides with the kids and without him it would make him and me feel bad even guilty because we can't enjoy the fun as a family. I guess that's just it I've had so much to deal with and so ghe weight has piled on. Any suggestions would really help especially with motivation which is rock bottom at the mo.


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11 Replies

  • I know the feeling the first 2 weeks brings the excitement of determination then it can just switch off so quickly I can be the same at times. Don't feel down your not alone start again onwards and upwards need a chat this site is your support so good luck 🍀😊

  • I've recently started this i know exactly how you feel and what you are going through right now . Any little change you can make will make a difference. Perhaps get a bike stand so you use your bike in the house (or the garden that way you are not to far from your husband, and getting the fresh air you like. I have already seen the people on here are massively supportive, which is a massive help, remember a small change will turn in to big results, chin up gal, on wards and upwards

  • Welcome. I would suggest reading some of the older posts on here to get some inspiration and advice. Regarding exercise. Small steps can help. Walking to the shops. Taking stairs etc. also you could try exercise videos on YouTube which are free and can be done at home. Hope that helps

  • Hi Lou Boo, lovely to meet you and welcome! Joining this forum and making this decision is a brilliant start. I can see that you're grieving for so many things that have happened to you and your family. So let's start with the small changes...talk with your husband about your love for him and your need to be healthy for him and the family. This might be a tearful discussion but in my opinion...and that's all it is, this is crucial to the success of your journey. You will need to help you look after you. You're looking after everyone else and feel that you're the last person on the list who needs help.....please change that. Put you first. Your health is so important to your family, without it all is lost!

    So much really super ideas posted already on exercise, all I can add is just walk...look at the beautiful world we live and, know life just ain't fair sometimes but you are on the mend!Go you!😄

  • Hi. I really do know how you feel, my husband has been disabled for 7 years now and, like you, I have given up a lot of things I used to do so as not to make him feel bad that his life has changed. I recently went for my NHS health check and came home with the results - underactive, obese and with a cholesterol level through the roof. My heart age was so much higher than my actual age.

    I felt so demoralised; when I got home I spoke to my husband about it all; my health, my weight, how it made me feel, how I did not want him to feel left out. He has been so supportive, he is going to help me to get active - he can't join in but wants me to be happy (and to be around for a long time!!).

    We are making small changes to our diet to start with and I have bought a pedometer and aim for 10,000 steps a day. I don't often reach it yet but the daily amount is slowly building, with my husbands nagging ( I mean support!) I try and increase the number of steps each day but do not beat myself up if I don't.

    It is going to take ages to make a big impact but at least I have started.

    It sounds like you have a lot to deal with, be kind to yourself and start gently. x

  • So agree with Jax...be kind to yourself!

  • Hi there so sorry to hear about your problem. I know how you must be feeling . Because I am going through the same thing as well. I have three jobs. Have to looked after my husband who suffer with emphysema.

    But the good things is exercise kept me going. Can you try and do spinning classes. If you used to enjoy bike riding. That's a great way of loosing weight and exercise at the same time. The thing is you have to looked after yourself first. Then the family. Because if you don't and something happened to you. Who will look after your husband and family. Put yourself first. Then when you get fit and healthy you might be more fitter and have lots of energy to look after the whole family. Please don't feel guilty I am sure hubby will understand. Take care I hope this will motivate you enough. To a good kick start to a healthy lifestyle.

  • Thank you for all your lovely and inspiring words. Starting with the small things makes a big step. I guess I put too much on myself all in one go. Well tomorrow I'm off doing a memory walk for alzeimers so that will be good. Thanks for the support

  • Hi Louboo,

    Why not start small, take a walk around the block or whatever your husband can manage if you feel you don't want to go alone.

    Have a look at the 12 week NHS plan, again you don't need to throw self in but again any small changes you make will over time add up😃

    It sounds like there has been some big changes in your life and it does take time to adjust to all of them but you need to maybe put yourself first sometimes💐 it's not being selfish it's looking after you and your wellbeing.

    You will find loads of support, inspiration and humour here so I hope you enjoy your journey to the new healthier fitter you. At the end of the day it does not matter how long it takes as long as you get there😃

    Have a lovely weekend and a great week


  • Hi, just being able to talk is a good first step...the next is to set a target and why you want to lose weight...we all have good and bad days....but stay strong...and just do something you enjoy even for 10 mins a day will help...have a good week...

  • Lets do it together?? xx

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