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Any advice for a Super obese hermit?

Hi new to this and not the best at typing or writing so mistakes imminent! I am 23 I think and my bmi puts me in the "super obese" category (yay!) I'm starting to sink deeper in to what I can only identify is depression I'm starting to get the I might die soon and alone in my chair thoughts, while constantly monitoring my chest every so often in fear of it being the moment my heart goes. (brought on a panic attack once which felt like a heart attack oh boy it was a totally fun experience)

Anyway It's safe to say I should start trying to improve my weight, now I'm wondering what I can and should do for I have a major fear of the outside world and I don't see me going out for a stroll because of it, which as I understand it is one of the main things that get us big guys some fairly not so much painless exercise, I don't have much room for the floor based exercises and everywhere I search on the net highlights these two kind of exercises (squats is about all I know about which I can do and will start) so any ideas would be great in that department.

Secondly and perhaps more importantly maybe, is my eating habit now I don't believe I overeat any more but I basically live off takeaways used to be really bad ones now it is only bad ones obviously it has to stop, but with me not going out I'm going to be ordering food most likely from a supermarket but I want to know if people know any places (around Cardiff) that delivers good, healthy easy to use food as standing up to cook is one of the most painful things for me right now (can't really stand properly for a kettle to boil for example) I just really need help and I feel lost in a never plummeting spiral to a slow death.


28 Replies

Dietdoctor, I shall look thanks for the information =)


Hey! Don't worry its never 2 late, I'm at the begging of a long journey to getting healthy and fit as well!!... Where are you based? Im looking for a weight loss buddy to help me stay motivated! Perhaps we can help each other? :)


Cardiff - South Glamorgan, what about yourself?


From what I can tell super obese means a BMI of greater than 45. If I was 5 kilos heavier I would be in that category but from your description of your mobility I am thinking your BMI must be much higher?

None of us think we are over eating until we see what a REAL portion size is supposed to look like e.g. I cook a healthier Pork Chow Mein which I would then have for dinner

It was supposed to serve 4 and I would struggle to get much more than 2 servings out of it (I live alone - we love to isolate right?).

Over time my ability to see a correct portion size has completely eroded - I am incapable of actually know what size is a normal size of food.

I cooked the same meal yesterday and because I am now counting calories and sticking to a daily plan I served myself a HALF of what I would normally eat and I was full.

You HAVE to count calories to start. We lose our ability to have any understanding of how much we really eat and counting calories is the best way - even for a short time - to get a handle on what "real" people eat and their portion size.

MYfitnesspal is an AWESOME that I am addicted to. Can scan barcodes on food, import recipes from the web and do calorie calcs on those....I'd be lost without it and my calorie counting is a breeze. And its free!

If you can not cook - and just so you know I do most of prep for cooking in front of the TV on the coffee table! lol - then use the app to find a recipe like what you have ordered in and use that as calories.

But I am wondering - you say you will not walk because you are ... agoraphobic I guess? - does that mean you ARE mobile or not? I am kinda confused...

Strength training is actually more important than aerobic for long term weight loss. If you put 5 lbs of muscle mass (doable over two months of consistent effort) you are then burning 50 calories per extra pound of muscle.

Doesn't sound much right? BUT that means just sitting down you are then burning the equivalent of a THIRTY MINUTE WALK every day.

The most important you can do is to no longer focus on what you CAN'T do and start to focus on what you CAN do - without that you will find this very difficult.

So tell us what you CAN achieve, what you can do - whether its bicep curls with a phone book or 5 situps - while you are breathing you can still move and every movement you make is making a difference.

You can do this I know it - and we are here to support you :D


Wow, that was actually quite inspiring to be honest, and to answer your questions yeah agoraphobic and low mobility double whamy. That app I'm guessing? Sounds really good and something I will download I will also work on some strength training, at the very least I can work on my arms and see where it takes me, thanks for taking the time to write the reply to my post I realise it sounds a little whiney


Not it doesn't sound whiney AT ALL!

You have a lot to deal with, a lot on your plate and sometimes it can really drag us down - we forget that there still options cause it doesn't feel that way when we are feeling like we are at the bottom of the barrel.

If you can't come here and have a bit of whine in a safe environment where CAN you? :D

And this is a good place because people remind we ARE worth while and we CAN do tings towards improving our health.

Yes you can definitely work on your arms and I tell ya - that app is addictive!



Cook is a healthier food shop using only fresh ingredients you would use if cooking at home yourself and they freeze them and can deliver. If you have a freezer you could order a weeks meals and you only need to reheat in oven or microwave and they are calorie counted. They do a specific low calorie range called OMG see link above. They have a store in Cardiff.

You can get your supermarket to deliver fruit and veg and other foods to supplement.

They will be better than takeaways that ae nearly always high fat high calorie.

Coming on here is a good first step . You will get lots of encouragement. You need to start moving a little more each time. Try and get up once an hour during the day and walk. count how many steps you take. Each time challenge yourself to go two steps further. Each of us can only start from where we are and we are all pushing ourselves that little bit harder/ further. One or two paces further each time. Soon uou will find you can do it a little easier. JuSt try it and see how you go. Do your arm exercises too.

You can do this! a day at a time.


Thank you so much, this is exactly the kind of thing I was looking for, and I agree I must admit a few hours ago the thought of taking a step was nigh impossible as there wasn't even a path to begin with, this is definitely a great start! Less figuratively I know that with the exercise it is going to be a slow and steady thing, I will start it and with a place to get my meals it won't feel as pointless ^.^

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Good job. You are already sounding a little bit more positive. You have all the encouragement you need right here. Just keep checking in and celebrate your small successes and ask for help. advice or encouragement when you need it. You can get fitter. It is not too late. You ae worth it. Love yourself enough to work at it.


Hey I didn't end up ordering from COOK I just did an order with

the diet chef I don't really have a clue if they are any good what I did read said they was good I went with them because they have full day planned meals I thought it would be good for me as two big issues for me is portions and eating a balanced diet over the day.


That's great well done!.

Do they personalise it to your needs and likes?


Yeah they select all the stuff based on what's popular but you can go and edit it all and get exactly what you want, I personally was happy to have anything as I want to try everything and I am tired of the same 3 or 4 takeaways every bloody day! All you need to do is provide 5 fruit and veg and 500ml of semiskimmed milk which I am happy to do through a supermarket... I'm totally excited by it health aside I'm just happy to be eating different things that I normally wouldn't breaking the mould so to speak. I just need to work out what I am going to do about a bit of exercise, I was considering making a plan to do a bit of cleaning and assigning particular house work jobs to myself on different days as my Flat brings my mood down and makes me not want to do anything active. So excited though =3


I am so happy you are making theses changes. Yes start with the housework and then work up to doing more.

You can do this! Check in here regularly and draw encouragement from others.

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Hiya just read your post and so feel for you!! Please please keep checking into the Forum. The support here is amazing and please try to always remeber you CAN do this!! it won't be easy I know (and we all have our struggles) but anything worth having is worth the effort.

Take things slowly,but surely, and you WILL get there.may i suggest keeping a daily diary where you record all your daily positive schievements? Or keep each one on a small piece of paper and post them into a glass jar? As the jar fills you'll lietrally see uour schievements stacking up. Then when you have a tough moment you can get them out and read through them to prove to yourself you CAN do this.

Celebrate the smaller achievements and the bigger one will naturally follow😄

I wish you all the very best with your journey Hun. You've done the hardest bit in taking that first step to getting slimmer and fitter. Write it in your diary and docus on the next step oneards and upwards.

Good luck and i look forward to seeing your next post!!

Ps sorry about my typing too-i hope my mistakes don't spoil the message. This app doesnt let you go back and make corrections without having to start again -Boo 😄😎


Not at all the message came through beautifully thank you! And it is a wonderful suggestion and one I never really thought about it, aside from knowing about small achievements being key I never actually considered collecting them as a reminder on the progress I make... Talking like I've made some xD better actually start. thanks again

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You're welcome and i am sending all the positive thoughts I can. Since I wrote to you yesterday you must have some positive notes in your jar already? Keep going Hun -we are all on your side. 😄😀


Whoa Fat Cat! You can do squats!! One the best weight bearing exercises you can do! I'm working hard to get to the point I can do squats in the first place!

Take-aways are the devils food! We only lose weight through eating less- much much less than we eat when we are putting on weight.

If you don't like going out - can't blame you on that one - recognise the self consciousness there - you need to start doing some seriously healthy meal planning among for, say 1500 cals a day - you need a breakfast to start with. Natural foods are best. Boxed cereals are tempting but incredibly calorific! Snacks need to be stuff like a few nuts - At most! and you need two more meals through the day.

Hydration is important too.

If you don't want to go out then get onto Ocado and plan a week of healthy eating with calorie counted meals. Even ready meals are better than take-aways. I get the M&S Balanced for you or count on us options if I haven't got time to cook. They don't cost much more but they are very appetising.

If you don't know to the calorie how much you are eating you are probably over eating. I had a diet made up of loads of healthy foods, well prepared, and coming in at 3500 calories per day - result Fat Lad! I had to learn the hard way about how little my body needs to maintain weight, be fully active and feel full. Its a fraction of what I thought was healthy. Oh, and my new diet is a fraction the cost of my previous one!

And just a thought about your username. How helpful is that for you? Its important not to confuse our feelings about ourselves with our identities.

You Can do this - the first ten days might be an adjustment, but you can do this! Thousands of people have and you are no different!

Keep up with the squats! I'll join you in a week or so!



Oh the name is something I use for games I suppose it is my feeling about my identity because as long as I remember that has been the thing that I'm reminded of.... The name is not all bad though I like cats! =p

Even though I sound confident about doing the squats I don't actually know if I can do them, it's more like I remember being able to do them so I think I can, guess I'll find out soon.

I feel slightly useless I'm getting this information I feel I should already know things like calorie counting is things we all hear about I just wonder why when I think right need to lose weight that basic detail slips my mind, anyway thanks for this reply like the others this is stuff I can use. =)

Oh and keep it going yourself it sounds like you are well on your way! ^^


Hi Fatcat. You have arrived home with this Forum. So much help and advice on a daily basis and great ideas and inspiration. We are all on this difficult journey together. Look forward to seeing your progress. Come on - we can do this!!

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Thanks for the friendly reply I hope I have enough rations for the journey =)


Hi Fatcat 92

I've recently started trying to get to grips with my weight too, and as other people have said, checking into this forum is a really helpful way of getting some motivation and support. I can see you've already been given lots of helpful ideas - so I'll just add:

- my household really likes their takeaways, and when I can't resist joining in I try to avoid anything saucy, fried or battered, so for Chinese Takeaway I might go for chicken chop suey and plain steamed rice, for Indian Takeaway, maybe tandoori or shashlik chicken with salad and plain rice. In fact there's a useful NHS website on the subject: nhs.uk/Livewell/men1839/Pag...

- when it comes to exercise, I've started doing a fitness DVD, just a gentle one with ten minute workout sessions to get me moving. I'm pretty sure I look like a right idiot bouncing around in front of the TV, but the great thing about a DVD is that I can shut the curtains and nobody else sees me doing it!

All the best - Good Luck!


I'm on a top floor flat so privacy shouldn't be an issue unless the damn seaguls come around for a laugh =p after I feel I can get up more I'll most likely move on to DvDs it sounds like a good step when I'm into this Die... woops almost used the taboo word. xD I'll look around for future reference. Thanks

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I saw a nurse recently for a 'health check'- diet weight, height etc. apparently BMI is tending to lose favour among professionals in favour of size related guidelines. as you are measuring yourself I wouldn't concern yourself with bmi: just TRY and excersise- ie, do more than you already are -housework is a good workout; check the nhs food calorie counter: download the 12 week food and activity chart and away you go. as Mao once said (yawn yawn) even the longest journey... well, you know the rest.


Hi Fatcat. You should certainly find some good support, advice and inspiration on this forum.

I am not sure what BMI is considered super obese - I thought it was over 50. I started out this journey over 57 and I am now just under 50 so hoping it is 50 and then I will no longer be super obese. Regardless it is still crazy high and needs reducing!

I have made great progress from simply cutting down generally and reducing (not cutting out) sugar. I am also trying to walk as much as I can. I was losing my mobility which is why I started this in the first place. If you can get out and walk I can recommend it. If you can manage 20 mins a day it would make a great deal of difference - can you find a friend to go out with you?

You could also try resistance exercises using resistance bands - you can get a few different DVDs online. The exercise seems quite easy when you do it but you can really feel it the next day.

I am sure the sooner you started to take control the better you will feel and hopefully you can stop yourself sliding into depression - take it from me, you can make massive changes in 6 months :)

Good luck!


Hey sorry about the massive delay my BMI is 72 I was considering making an exercise plan completely around cleaning my flat, a little bit a day could kill two birds with one stone the clean flat should lift my spirits a little suppose that would be three birds =) anyways thanks for the comment.

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Hi Fatcat, anything that gets you up and moving is good. Just moving or even standing a bit longer each day will help. Once you reduce portion size and getting moving more the weight will drop off and you will feel so much better for it. I've managed over 3 stones in 6 months and I feel so much better. I don't count calories yet and the weight is still coming off. You can do this, you seem to be motivated but you have to stick at it. If you go off the rails get straight back and you will see those scales heading down and you will have a sparkly flat too :)

Looking forward to reading about your first loss!


I love the housework idea. Anything that gets you to move is good!. Also when your surroundings are in order it really clears your mind too.

When you're ready there is a dvd series called walk at home. It starts with mini walks moving up to some that are 4 miles. I am doing the 2 mile and I use booster cables that also builds strength. On the 2 mile tape there is a whole bunch of people who have lost over 100lb ( a couple over 150lb) one man wa wheelchair bound and he 'waked at home' judt by swinging his arms and he had lost 100lbs ! I am sure it was combo of diet and exercise but what i am trying to say , is that even super obese people can do this exercise and see results. I recommend these tapes as they are not insane, are doable even is unfit and they do work !

I love that you have stated diet chef and you are starting to take positive steps towards health. Keep going you can do this !


Hey. Been looking back through old forum posts and came across this. Then noticed (i think) that you've not posted much since. How are things going?

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