Have been doing really well for the past 3 days - its about 7:00 p.m. here in Sydney
As I have mentioned a few times the one ting that could bring me unstuck is the supermarket and stopping for chocolate - its literally 2 minutes from my house.
The last 2 nights I have had a podcast for health and fitness to listen to on my iphone as I drive by there but I left my earbuds at home so I can't do that.
I can already feel my stomach tightening up and this familiar kind of empty hole feeling as I think about that trip home in 2 hours. Internally there is already a struggle happening.
I know this all sounds melodramatic or over the top but its exactly what happens to me. Its really the ONLY time in my day I even consider eating badly and it just seems to consume me, this feeling of desperate hunger that can only be solved by chocolate and lots of it.
I am hoping that talking/typing it is going to help get it out of my system.
Whenever I have felt this way before I ALWAYS give in and think
"Well I'll start again tomorrow"
but this is one of the rare times when I actually have thought
"No I really don't want to waste 3 days of good eating and exercise by ramming 1500 calories down my throat in one sitting".
Bloody hell thats pretty much a FULL DAYS CALORIES for me in one go. I didn't realise that until now.
So frustrating. The intensity of these cravings is mind boggling and I know that the more days I can resist the weaker they will be come but damn right now its hard.
I am pushing myself hard to just get past there. Once I am in my street I know I will not go back for chocolate.
Thats me right now.
P.S. I have just been comparing this to when I quit smoking and what I did to counter cravings when I was driving. Chewing gum and... barking. I would actually start to spontaneously bark like a dog at passing traffic. I know it sounds insane but it completely took power away from the craving and by the time I get home I am in a good mood from laughing at myself. I really want to push myself to do that.
Later....Right - the picture above is my reminder to bark. Hey I figure you have to do whatever it takes...right?
It was weird - I knew within 5 minutes of leaving work that I was NOT going to buy the chocolate. It was such a relief...I actually relaxed completely, enjoyed the drive home, sang along to the radio and yes - I barked at the supermarket as I drove by smirking!
I got home, pulled in, saw a Fitbit message that I still had 1000 or so steps to get to 10,000 so got out of the car and did a mile walk BACK to the supermarket, bought some plain greek yoghurt that I can now have with a splodge of honey and half a mashed up banana.
Chocolate can SUCK IT!
Of course I am all hot and sweaty now from my power walk so have no interest in even having the low cal dessert I had planned - that can be for tomorrow!
Thanks for listening guys - I feel like this was a bit of a turning point for me in the war against chocolate.