Only myself to blame-no one else is putting the food/drink in my mouth. When I think about it I have achieved so much in my life and yet I can't achieve the weight loss I need to look and feel good plus being healthy!!! WHY?? I lose a few pounds and then put it back on again and then feel so annoyed with myself, its a vicious circle. I'm right back to were I was at the beginning of the year, feeling frustrated and angry at myself for spoiling everything again with my diet and lifestyle, plus bit all my fingernails back again!! I know I can achieve so why can't I do this for myself?? Why do I take so much on board of other things that then make me spoil things for myself, but then here I go again making excuses for abusing my body aaagghhh!!

12 Replies

  • Oh I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time of it.... you are asking why you do this and I guess you can't get over it until you understand the reason for it. Some people on here have successfully used talking therapies to better understand their relationship with food and their motivation to eat. Would this be something which you might consider/ which might be useful?

    Other than that, what about considering how you deal with all the other things in your life that you seem to do so well; do you plan? set goals? visualise success? involve others? Some of the techniques that work in other aspects of your life might work here.

    What would you tell someone else in this position? Don't be too hard on yourself - coach yourself the way you would someone else....

    I really hope that things turn around for you. In the meantime look at this way, you don't seem to have gained weight and that has to be a good thing :-)

  • Your right MagsMM I should coach myself the way I would others but sometimes its taking your own advice that is the most difficult! I'm being negative again and I know I shouldn't! argh!!

  • Don't be so hard on yourself! Weight loss is the hardest thing ever to achieve! I used to put everything else first and then blame the weight on me not having time. Now i put myself first. Its the only way to achieve and since doing that i'm much happier. No more tears about my weight because i know i'm doing something about it. People do understand if you can't do certain things because you need to workout or prepare your meals. Plus the longer you do it the easier it gets! Just think fresh start and give it a good go! Good luck! You CAN do this!

  • Your right Ajajan1ne, I should make today, May 1st, a new start for myself and put myself first - I've always been the one who manages, plans, takes care of family, hubby, house, bills, work etc. I should take that cloak off and put one on for me but its not going to be easy-I should take a step back from it all and concentrate on my needs. Don't even get thanks for what I do, maybe thats why I eat cos I feel under valued. OMG have just thought of that, how sad. Must pull myself together can't be thinking like that!! Just more excuses!!

  • It's not sad, I think it's helpful that you're realising things like that cos it all factors into the comfort eating. I have comfort eaten through tough times but have realised that I need to find a better way to cope. Like you I wear a lot of hats - Mum, partner, daughter, employee and with those roles come many others; coach, counselor, nurse, housemaid, cook etc and it is hard to find time for you. But you need to look after you and be good to you. It's not that hard to work the healthy stuff into your routine and let it become a habit; I have involved my son and partner in the changes I am making and have discussed the reasons for those changes - they walk with me, we try new meals together (although I have to be creative and come up with different versions as my son needs 3000 cals a day for medical reasons) and they celebrate successes with me. Think through how you're feeling and why and then talk to your husband and family about your feelings and how they could help you with your weight loss and, perhaps, more generally - this could be a really good new start on lots of fronts :-)

  • Unfortunately I've tried talking to my family but they re not supportive-I've done it all for as long as I can remember and its accepted. I said something to my hubby the other week about as I get older I'm supposed to step back about but his reply was "you're the mum". I feel better now cos when to gym and did a class that I don't usually do-called "Serenity" it was wonderful! total relaxation and chill, so feeling aaahhh at the moment LOL

  • Jenica, as difficult as it is you need to be a bit selfish. I'm a mum, nana, wife, daughter with parent who's 88, and I have a much younger friend who calls me her stand in mum! All these people want a bit of me and to be truthful I love the fact they all need me as much as they do. But I've learned how to say "no" from time to time and I also make time for myself, I've noticed since I started doing so everyone else appears to have a little more respect and time for me. Make time for yourself Jenica, love yourself and be a bit more selfish.

  • How great that your mum is still with you at 88yrs! Know what you mean about people[family] needing you, I'm really going to try and take a step back but at the moment as you know there's lots going on to be sorted out but once this is over I shall try. Did a rock n roll music class this morning and then relaxation class at gym, have felt so much better since then.

  • Everyone else has given you the really good sensible advice,I'm just going to say take some time to yourself. To stop biting your nails have a manicure or choose a really nice nail colour and paint them yourself. It always gives me a lift.

  • I usually get OPI gel done to stop me biting my nails cos when its on I can resist biting for few weeks but then do start to peel gel off with my teeth! Thought I'd let my nails "have an airing" cos nails tips were soft but ended up biting them instead. I've got 9 weeks to try and get them looking decent for my hols-not forgetting the body slimmer!!

  • I just joined today. Because I am in the same boat as you. I was doing so well and now I blew it. it is obvious I need help with being not feeling so alone with this. I do it to myself and am so angry. Will keep checking how you are doing and maybe it will inspire me to change my stupid ways.

  • We can keep an eye on each other! Good luck.

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