Does anyone else worry about talking to their baby?

A woman asked me the other day if I talk to my bump yet. I've since noticed other pregnant ladys doing just this. What do you say? I'm a rather non-verbal person by nature. I have a habit of always having to think before I speak, and will avoid speaking at all if there's a way round it. Even if I leave it till she's at least born, I'll have to start speaking to her at some point! It just feels so awkward. I'm kind of wierd round other peoples kids because of this talking inhibition, so I can't imagine what I'll be like with mine. Her dad only speaks Portuguese, and we live in Brazil, without my family or any English friends, so it's going to be down to me to teach her English. I'm not worried about cuddles, they'll be easy peasy, and I'm not worried about playing games with her, or singing to her or even reading her bedtime story, although I must emphasise the word reading - there'll be no spontaneously made up storys, not unless I miracalously aquire a completely new skill. Does anyone else worry about this, or is it just me?

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  • Be you! The perfect you that you are. At no point do you have to do what others do. No rule dictates what you say or don't say to your precious child. You like to sing songs that perhaps you could sing your favourite songs to your tummy, English songs or from the countries you and your partner hail from. The same with stories. Read them to your tummy. I have read the three little pigs to my belly and it actually felt more like I was reading it for me, remembering my own childhood. Your baby is already loved by you and your partner, cuddles and love in abundance await. I can already tell what a wonderful mummy you are, someone proud to be who she is with confidence. Being economical with what you say and thinking about what you say before you say it is much better than being a motor mouth! Trust yourself and gather those stories and songs! Congratulations on your pregnancy and I wish you the best! xx

  • You don't need to speak to your bump if you don't want to. I didn't with my first and probably won't with this one - not because I'm a horrible person but because its not something I feel comfortable doing. Your baby will know your voice straight away anyway because they will hear you speaking whether you are talking directly to them or not and the moment you say something when they are born and they look up at you is the best feeling in the world - even if you're saying "bloody hell that was painful!" When the baby is born it will come naturally - you don't have to be a chatterbox to be a good mum anyway. Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck! xx

  • Aw, thanks ladies! I feel better already. From what you've said, I think I'm not doing too bad actually, as I've already been singing to her - picking out some songs I think she should like, such as Corrine Bailey's "Girl Put Your Records On", and Nina Simones "My Baby Just Cares For Me". I'm going to get cracking on finding some good stories to read too. Lovely to read your replies both of you. All the very best with your pregnancies. xx

  • It felt normal to me, to speak to my bump, but I like talking, and always do when I have a chance. I even started reading nursery rhymes at the end of my first pregnancy (now with second one it's much easier when I read to my 3year old son). But if you do not feel comfortable talking to yours don't worry. Maybe you like singing? Or just even humming a song/melody? I do that a lot, but it's more because I love music, and although I don't have a great voice or talent, I still do it at home. I've heard so many times that it is really good to talk to you bump/newborn, and it helps them develop better, but don't push yourself just because other mums/mums to be are doing it, and tell you you should do that.

    My 3 year old son talks and sings a lot (all the time to be honest), but I have no idea if it's because he is like me (my husband isn't talking a lot :) ) or is it because I talked to him a lot?

    Anyway, do whatever you feel comfortable doing, and not what everyone else is saying that you HAVE to do! And most of all enjoy your pregnancy.

  • Im not at the talking stage yet i have to admit and this comes from a woman who talks openly to her chickens and walks round the house singing songs about them. Baby knows your voice, they dont need you to talk to them specifically. Apparently it does help the bonding process but if it feels alien then thats not going to help you! Thanks for posting this as i feel the same way and its nice to hear im not an unfeeling chicken favouring moo!

  • More great replies! Interesting to hear how it varies from one woman to the next. Come to think of it, my husband chats away to her. It was me who told him to, as he's got a nice deep voice that I imaging must come through quite well inside the womb, and he was stumped for what to say at first but these days he just lets it all flow. I'm sure she appreciates it, and misses him when he's not here. Whenever he leaves the house she has a sudden wriggle as the front door shuts. Post from luckyclucky didn't half put a smile on my face. I hope your chickens don't get too jealous when the time comes for your new arrival!

  • oh they will be jealouse! I have three that really love cuddles and the other 17 are soppy sacks (they are ex battery hens, really sweet things) I always say this is my newest chicken, the only one without feathers!! so sweet about your bump having a wriggle when hubby leaves!!

  • Congratulations on your pregnancy!

    I also don't feel like talking to the bump in spoken words - somehow it feels awkward. But (and I know it sounds silly) I'm talking to the baby silently, as if it could hear my thoughts, and this somehow feels natural and right.

    And I am really bad in inventing stories too, but I've recently read a good advice about this: When you're stuck in the middle of a story, ask your child how he/she thinks the story will continue. This is said to promote the child's imaginativeness. So we are actually doing our children a favour by not being able to invent stories :)

    But no matter if you'll talk much or next to nothing - your baby will love you and think you are the most wonderful person alive just for being yourself!

  • I must admit to being a raver ... talked to each of my bumps extensively (less with this one, since my toddler takes up much more of my time). But it's absolutely NOT essential to bonding! You will find you bond with your bubba in so many ways as your bump grows. With my current bump, it got to a point where I knew where his feet would be, and a gentle rub of that spot on my bump had him wriggling with delight.

    You'll get to know your bubba in your own time, and in your own way. And when your baby arrives, you'll both learn and grow at the same time, and it will happen so gradually that it'll only be with hindsight that you work out how you got there!

    So, just relax and enjoy, and never worry about what anyone else did with their children.

    R xo

  • I am a walkng talkie kind of a woman/girl/whatever ! I talk a lot, but not to the baby yet - maybe i will do it once the bump ismore visible,but of now I am only reading good stuffs and not talkiing.

    My mom and MIL both saidi should read good books about famous men and women, say complete no to horror fictions and even useless action movies like skyfall, instead watch movies and read books which are truely inspirational - my mom has even banned my reading gossip sections in newspaper - read science she says. I dont mind it at all :)