NCT
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Jealous when my Other Half goes out

Hi everyone,

I need some help/advice. I'm 18 and 22 wks pregnant with my beautiful baby girl💗 My boyfriend is going out tomorrow night with his work mates(some of them are girls which I'm friends with but still not happy about) he told me that he will be home about 5am/6am.

I'm sensitive and upset, all I will be doing tomorrow while he is out bowling during the day and clubbing at night is sitting at home ... I just feel like he would rather spend time with his mates then me.. any advice or what I should do ? Or something to keep me busy ?

Thanks in advance 😔

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Aw Hunni I’m sorry your feeling down and unwanted by your partner, is it that he doesn’t spend time with you or is it you feeling abit insecure with body changes and pregnancy and not being able to do certain things he’s doing! I know how we can get pregnant I used to look at myself and think eww ugly and fat and didn’t like looking at myself pregnant and thinking why would anyone else but it was my mad hormones playing tricks and I felt lonely because it was like I was the only person pregnant and everyone else is having fun !!! Have you tried to do a date night once a week/fortnight with your partner to go cinema or food or a day trip somewhere different where you can have one to one time before baby arrives?

Have you tried talking to your partner? Explain that you feel abit lonely it’s better to communicate than let it build up and stress you out.

Your not on your own I’ve been there myself when I was pregnant at 18 !

Is there any chance you can go bowling then come home when they go out ? Xx

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He spends most of his time with me, I think that's what makes it harder when he goes out with his friends. I think it's a bit of separation anxiety because we do spend so much time together. I think it's that I'm insecure too, these girls are beautiful and they are really close and he always reassures me that he loves me and is having a baby with ME and not the other girls but that just doesn't seem to put my mind at ease. We do go on dates quite often, which is nice. I think it's because I can't go out and enjoy it to😔 I don't really like to talk to him about these things and I know I should but I just don't want him to feel back or for me to come across as sensitive and weak... he's going bowling with his friends and then going straight out.. it's fine xxx

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Hunni you being honest with him isn’t you being weak it’s mature as not everyone can communicate and that is the main ingredients in a relationship!! So it’s about how your coping being away from him , sometimes it’s good to be away from each other for a few hours it makes the heart grow fonder just not that great when we’re pregnant and hormonal! He has told you he loves you and I’m sure the girls are pretty like yourself but he’s not interested it’s just a work night out and I’m sure he will call you on the night before you go to bed. Do you think the anxiety started when you got pregnant or have you always had it ? Xxx

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The good thing is that you have date nights as you are still having fun xx

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I know, I think I'm going to talk to him tonight when he gets in from work. Yeah, it wasn't really that bad before I got pregnant and then when I did get pregnant it just seemed to get worse xxx

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Just explain to him how you feel and you don’t like feeling like it and your not telling him he can’t go out your just expressing your feelings!

It might be a bit of pregnancy depression/ anxiety as some women get it and it goes away some have it longer! But it also can just be your feeling helpless and like you are all the pies like we all go through and you want a night off from being pregnant but like I said your not alone and you can chat on here too and if you’re worried tell your midwife how you feel if it helps you to talk. Xx

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Got a midwife appointment tomorrow at 9:30am and he will be there too with the family advisor so I might mention it to her, see if there is anything I can do to relax me. Thank you for your advice and your experience. I really do appreciate it xxx

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Your more than welcome Hunni, I hope all goes well tomorrow and I wish you the very best in your pregnancy and becoming a mummy xx

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How did you get on ? X

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Yeah, it went well, mentioned that I had depression previously and she said she's going to keep a close eye on me. Will message her tomorrow and has another episode tonight, tired of feeling like this😒xxx

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Oh bless you Hun I hope the midwife can help you and by talking to her helps. Did your other episode start because of your partner going out today? Xx

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Yeah, I wanted to go with him but couldn't due to not enough room in the car and I was fine with that(I was jealous, but I didn't want him to know that) Just when he told me to text him and he ignores me and doesn't text me or let me know where he is or what he's doing so I don't know xxx

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How are you feeling today Hunni? X

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Congratulations on baby girl too xx

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This seems like normal anxiety to me. Don't worry. I actually think you should take up something like crochet. You can make lovely things for the baby, be productive without running around the house and it's always nice to learn a new skill. I crochet and it helps me insecurities and anxieties in all aspects of life. If you're not sure how to crochet, get a cheap hook and ball of yarn, go on YouTube and search for Bella Coco and get going.

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Why don't you go out with your mates? You don't need to be housebound just because you're pregnant (unless you are unwell)

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