NCT
23,682 members9,751 posts

His mummys boy attitude is effecting me and my baby!

Feeling sick and very depressed and I am 34weeks . I push myself to get out of bed. I had a huge arguement with my hubby who protects his evil mother all the time yesterday he went too far...we argued until 2am in the morning. She is a poisonous woman and has been trying to destroy our lives and my hubby protects her till the end she has done nasty things to me and I feel like saying to my hubby it's me or her...but I can't stand this stress and I told him yesterday and was in tears about it I said that he's effecting me and the baby but blamed me for everything. This morning I have a bad migraine and feel really really sick!!!!! It's like he doesn't care just cares about his precious cruel excuse of a mother. He also tries to harden our 6yr olds feelings against me saying oh your a mummys boy...contradicting himself when he as a 40yr old man does it to his own mum..to attack me his wife. He threatened he won't be at the birth with me too and said that he he stressed and depressed too. I am scared and have no one to talk to. What should I do...? Arguing made me feel very sick today...and can't feel baby movements like before....

18 Replies
oldestnewest

I'm so sorry you're going through it during pregnancy. Do you have anyone you can stay with until the baby is born? Can you ask him to go to his mother's house for the remaining of your pregnancy? You need some distance now if you want to avoid divorce!

Baby is feeling the stress and that is why you can hardly feel it, don't worry, s/he is fine.

2 likes
Reply

Thanks for your reply. My hubby is the only one who i am depending on too I don't have any family or friends around me so I he can't leave otherwise I'll be stuffed. Also his mum lives abroad. The baby use to move alot but movements have slowed down and also now they have completely stopped from yesterday's arguments. Could the stress have done this..?I am so worried and upset...

Reply

Hi just wanted to say I've had a really stressful pregnancy so far (27wks now) and everytime I was really upset or stressed the baby stopped moving. I've been monitored so many times and baby is fine so i'm sure u will be too. If u want peace of mind just call ur day unit and they'll get u in for monitoring baby's heartrate and movements xx

1 like
Reply

Thankyou for your message! I will definitely get it checked out. I'm really sorry to hear you've been having a stressful time too. Pregnancy is so hard on its own adding on more stress just makes it unbearable. Thankyou for your reply good luck with it xx

Reply

Sorry to hear your stressed Hunni and feeling so down , pregnancy is a blessing but does come with a lot of hormones and the unbalancing ! Did you say his mum lives abroad?? Has she come over then to England as I’m wondering why the tension is high if she’s a plane away! She’s not worth your stress levels or stressing your unborn out either , don’t let her win ! I believe in the saying KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLEAN BUT YOUR ENEMIES EVEN CLOSER!!

As you’ve stated you’ve got no where to go as you rely on partner, when he brings the mother up bite your tongue and nod or go in another room and count to 100 if need be as some men do things to get. Reaction out of you don’t give it to him , we are short fused as it is and they love to press the buttons! When you have your baby join some mummy and baby groups to make friends and get out as men also like the fact you only have them too so just try and get through the last couple of weeks but u know u always have this board!

If no movements Hun get check as it should be at least 10 a day ! Best wishes xxx

2 likes
Reply

Close •

Reply

Thankyou Sisi for your reply. I know what you mean keep your friends close and your enemies closer! But I couldn't live with her close as she would control our lives and hubby can't stand up to her. I am lucky she lives abroad but she has a way of talking to my hubby and influencing him from miles away! I am feeling extra stress and emotional and hubby is also stressed with work working late so I think everything's come together. You are right I should probably go into the other room and give some time out. It's easy said than done sometimes...whenever the phone rings and he talks to his mum tension builds up between us...she tries to tell him what to do from.miles away and it influences us as a couple...that's what makes me angry. Thankyou for your words and support...it means alot to have people ti talk with on here xxxxx

1 like
Reply

I know it’s easier said than done Hun , my partner was the same with his ex which is worse than the mother as he had a relationship with her and I was pregnant and she was always on the phone and wrapping him around her finger making him feel sorry for her and he would argue with me as I would say what does she want he would say nothing but it probably was but she always rang him and texted him it was like she was doing it on purpose to come between us and jel about us and us being happy we had our baby and then 12 months on she went on to have a baby ! But I thought to myself I can’t carry on playing games so I pretended I was interested and didn’t bother asking questions anymore as it was only hurting me and I felt like I was the one who was not with him. He has a child with his ex but finished 16 years ago as his daughters 17 next month so you can understand why I was mad as she still had her ways in him feeling sorry for her . Now she likes me and texts me so I keep her at arms length but enemies come on all situations and this was mine but I’ve rose above it and I’m not allowing ppl like that to wreck my relationship and family! I hope your ok and you can get through this. His mum is obviously jealous and she hates her little boy having a family and life don’t give her the satisfaction. I know we get moody and short tempered and I bet you see red when she calls him but pretend your not bothered for your own sake and the two children. Big hugs and kisses xx

1 like
Reply

Sisi Oh God I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through! You have definitely shown your a stronger better person though being able to rise above it all keep your partner and not let his ex get in the way of your relationship and also keep your enemies closer! I admire you! Jealously is a horrible thing and can screw up people's lives! I will try and take your advice and keep calm next time no matter how hard it is for all our sakes but also keep my mind busy with something else. Thanks again for your support and good luck with everything too! We are all in it together! It really means alot to be able to talk to people that understand what you're going through! Hugs&kissesxx

1 like
Reply

It’s not easy Hunni but it gets easier each day and then it will eventually not even bother you. Don’t let her destroy your relationship and family and as for your husband he needs to grow up and support you life is hard and a challenge so is work but we have to count our blessings of what we’ve got and life’s too short to let busy bodies get in the way of love and happiness! So one day at a time Hunni it will get easier. Big hugs lovely xxx

1 like
Reply

Thanks for all your support hun! You're right life is too short and I shouldn't let things get me down so much. I have tried to stop any hurt I feel from her and your right i dont feel the hurt i use to....it's how my hubby reacts that upsets me the most...I need him to be on my side and support me..or is that selfish of me? He seems to be in the middle right now. Don't want to bore you though...thanks again for all your words means alot hun xxx

1 like
Reply

Sound advice there Sisi14!

Supermummy so sorry for what you have to endure during this season of your life. As said above, pregnancy does come with lots of hormonal changes that adversely affect our moods. You therefore have to make a deliberate effort and choice to raise above your current circumstances. Choose not to REACT to issues arising from your hubby and mun in law, for your own and baby's sake. Choose to RESPOND in a way that does not get you angered or stressed and ideally at this stage of your pregnancy, opt to just keep quite and ignore all that's happening around you. Be the calm one and sober one, change yourself and don't focus on changing the others. The rest will definitely note your change and will also make some effort to change.

You say he is also blaming you for all the issues that you are going through, a sign of blame game. without sounding hard on you take time to also reflect on what your hubby is blaming you for and you don't have to burden yourself with the baggage. Just acknowledge the challenges and find ways to work around them.

Choose to do something physical either indoors or outdoors that will uplift your mood, something that energies you. That way, you will no longer focus on the issues troubling you. Journaling your thoughts would also go a long way in calming down your nerves, coz you get to fully express yourself in paper since you have no one else to share your concerns with.

Protect your 6year old child too from the issues that you and his father are going through. None of you should make such a young child take sides regard matters that are affecting you as adults. Be there for your child and support him through the circumstances you all face.

In all I wish you the best in the remaining weeks ahead and I trust that you shall workout a solution. Its all within your power!

2 likes
Reply

Thankyou mates for your advice I will definitely take it on board! You are right I should rise above all this! And find something to take my mind of of it all put my energy somewhere else that way I will find a way of escaping all the stress and worries. I don't want my boy to take sides your very right that he shouldn't the only thing that worries me is that shouldn't he know how bad my hubby's mum is before she tries to turn him against me..?and she will like she's done everyone else. I know it's something I shouldn't talk about now and leave thesena problems to the side sometimes it's easier said than done. But I will definitely find something to get my mind off of things. Thankyou for your kind words and support. I wish you also all.the best in your pregnancy xxx

Reply

That’s sad that you’re going through this while pregnant. Was it like this before pregnancy? If not as bad could you be feeeling it more because of hormones. I agree with someone else if she’s a plane away just bite your tongue, more so for the baby’s sake, you don’t want the baby to come into the world with a bad atmosphere between you. I’m sure he will be at the birth and just said it out of anger xxxx

2 likes
Reply

Thank you for your reply it has become worse during pregnancy I think I am really short tempered and also he has alot to deal with too stress at work so I think your right I have to go into another room I just can't stand his mum I am feeling very emotional.

Reply

Mind you I know how you feel I’m short tempered so I understand how hard it is to bite your tongue and walk away without just flipping out and it seems to get worse when pregnant haha! I hope everything works out for you. Could be worse she could love in the next street to you and want to be there everyday xx

1 like
Reply

Yes men do know which button to press to make you angry! Oh if she lived in the next Street I'm sure we'd be divorced by now! She is a nasty piece of work! She wants her husband on one side and her son on the other like an extra boyfriend she has never been a proper mum to my hubby and manipulates everyone pretending she's nice but she's not she evil. She has turned everyone against me and if she can she will also turn my baby against me...which really frightens me. Xxx

Reply

Your baby will never turn against you don’t worry xxxx

Reply

You may also like...