Lack of seeing Midwife

Hi I'm 21 years old and 20 weeks pregnant.. This is my first pregnancy and I've just began to show and now feel fluttering feelings. My concern is I've only actually met with my midwife once at 11 weeks where I was measured ect and then another lady for my 12 and 18 weeks scan. Since I've had no contact with her and truthfully I cant even remember her name... Should I have had more appointments with her at this point or is it normal as I'm classed Low risk? I can always call to arrange an app myself but i did not want to waste her time?

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  • Hi, congrats first of all!

    I think it is relatively normal, however I do also think it has something to do with the district you may fall into as some are really stretched compared to others. I am 30 weeks pregnant and on a high risk pathway but classed as low risk (previous eating disorders) yet I have only just started to really see my midwife.

    Previous to this week, I have only met with a midwife at 9 weeks (booking), 12 weeks (dating scan), 18 weeks, 24 weeks, 28 weeks....and now I'm on the bi-weekly meets.

    It can be worrying but just trust the system, if you do get really worked up (like I have been on a few occasions) and believe you need checking, then just call you MLU (Midwife led unit) and explain. I have had worries on two occasions and my MLU was fabulous at getting me in and seen.

    Good luck with everything! :)

  • I saw my midwife at 10 weeks and then 16 weeks. Had hospital scans at 12 and 20 also. I’m next seeing her at 25 weeks and then I think it becomes more often. I have a list in my notes of when I’m supposed to see her xx

  • Thank you Nastassja92 & Hydromermaid-1 For your advice..

    I'm not feeling like I neeed to be seen as i still feel flutters and I feel alot more energetic last few weeks.. I feel a lot better that you both said it gets more frequent after 25 weeks.. I do have a note in the front of my pregnancy book the midwife gave me that said i would be seen at 25wk's again for measuring and breastfeeding stuff but i wasn't sure if i was supposed to have seen or heard from her between my scans just i'm beginning to leak now and i've found theres not really anyone i can talk about these things with and i have a thousand questions.. i'm using the internet as my guide atm...

    Thank's again, XX

  • Did she not give you a book with your notes in? In there it should have a list of the appointment times they want to see you but its relatively quiet up until 30 weeks and then it ramps up.

    I have to make my own appointments according to what it says in the book.

  • yeah it does say in the file she gave me that i would be seen again at 25 weeks for like measuring and a breastfeeding chat.. I just wasn't sure if i was meant to wait on her contacting me after the scans or if she would call me as i've literally only seen her once just with it being my first pregnancy i thought there would be more information for what to expect week by week ect as i've had to learn alot on my own x

  • Yes you book in for the midwife appointments as soon as your gp surgery let's you for the week that you need. Mine won't let me book anything more than 6 weeks ahead.

  • Might be worth giving them a call. My mw gives me the date and time for next appointment when I see her. GP not involved at all. To be honest there's not much that changes from week to week. You might have changing symptoms but not much really that needs any intervention unless you're bleeding or in pain. I would download an app like what to expect when you're expecting which have weekly videos and tips and are medically sound.

  • Yeah i think i will do this afternoon even just to confirm that its for the 25 week appointment with her just i know that the first time i had my scan they let me know when i would need to come in next and it was about a month inbetween but the appointment was sorted.. but when i went for my 18 week scan when i left i wasn't given any information on when to come back or if i needed bloods done again ect? i will give them a call just to be sure theres no miss communication, and yeah its just a case of changing of symptoms like you said its just i dont know whats normal an whats not with this being my first time.. :)

  • They normally see as per schedule on the front of the book ... Tells you when you get seen on it. If there are problems they expect you to contact them. They do not contact you in between appointments as the onus is on you to

    Contact them if there are issues.

    When you say you're leaking, where are you leaking from? Breast leak can be normal, if you feel you're are leaking large amounts of fluids vaginally then that's something to get in touch with the midwife about

  • Ah sorry roxannacar i should have been more clear, the ''leaking'' business was from my breasts ahah i know thats something to be expected! it just threw me, as i wasn't sure i was even making milk yet.. i just have a thousand questions and feel like i've just been 'winging it so far :)

  • Firstly, id be thankful that you haven't had More visits haha! But secondly, I'd say to trust your gut instinct. If you feel like you should see her then make an appointment, even if it is just for peace of mind. I was 39 weeks with my second child, and had been contracting very irregularly for just over 48hours. I decided to just go to the hospital to see if anything was happening (gut instinct) and what dyu know, I was 4cm, and my daughter arrived an hour later. If I'd have waited any longer I'd have probably given birth in the car lol.!! So TRUST YOUR GUT. And just do whatever feels right for you. Don't worry that you're wasting anyone's time or being silly, just blame any so-called "overreacting" on baby brain and hormones. Works every time ;)

  • Ah thank you MummyMel for your comment..I think your right theres no harm in at least calling to check they might not have the correct details for me i know they sent an appointment letter to a house i haven't lived in for 6 years after i had literally just updated my registration details, so it could be a case of miss communication i'm going to call them just to be sure, and wow that was lucky ive been worrying about the feelings recently.. i haven't noticed it as strongly for the past two days and for what i do feel im afraid it could be maybee a stomach grumble or in my head do you know if its normal or should i be worried its not like i've had flutters for a while its literally just been the last two weeks i had noticed them?

  • That’s good you are classed as low risk, when I was pregnant I had to book my appointments in my doctors surgery, but the midwife always said if I needed to see her just book in an appointment or call her for advice, the appointments do become more frequent the further into your pregnancy you get, if you are leaking milk you could always used breast pads. If you are feeling flutters you might be starting to feel the baby move at this point as that is what I felt with my son, your midwife should of given you a book with stages of pregnancy and what to expect at each stage ( mine did ). Hope this helps you and good luck on your journey.

  • yeah she gave me a large file but the information was more for her about me? Everything i've learned about what to expect has mostly came from google ... and that's kinda sketchy to go from, It was't like milk though it was a very watery liquid and i wasn't sure where it was coming from (obviously my breast) but i mean the fluid was like coming from tiny glands and i didn't know if that was normal or if you got like a visible hole? i know i sound crazy i just have like a 100 questions and i thought she might have had a chat a chat with me so i'd know how to prepare.. and yeah i ordered some online, Thanks Catz2017 i appreciate your reply :)

  • Hi this is normal if you are concerned with any thing rig them up, also she should have put dates of appointments in the book you should have been given

  • Thanks Jenny2018.. Its more just my own lack of knowledge about pregnancy in general.. I don't have many people to ask about this kind of thing i just feel kinda clueless and there was a plan thing at the front of a file she gave me to say at which stages i would need to be seen but i had my scan at 18 weeks the file said at 20 so we couldn't find out the sex.. and I've literally spoken to my midwife once when i fist met her and she measured me and took my bloods at 11 weeks apart form that i've not heard anything after my 12 week scan with another lady i was given my next app but at the 20 week scan there was no following appointment i wasn't sure if it was me who got in touch with her to arrange it or if she would contact me to go though the scan i'd had and make me another one...

  • If you don't have a follow up

    Appointment give them a call and ask how it's normally done. Different areas work differently. As for general questions you can ask here or look on NHS choices which is very good.

  • I'm 20 weeks too and have seen the midwife twice and had my first scan. I'm heading away for a wee holiday next week so have my 2nd scan and 3rd midwife appointment a little later than I should, when I get back. As others have said all the appointments are listed in the file and we have to arrange these ourself. I get the hospital appointments sent to me and phone if I need to reschedule. I find my midwife and hospital staff are quite good at telling me what happens next although before I leave I always make a point of saying, 'what do I next?' I always put a reminder in my phone to arrange each appointment or I would forget to do it.

    Have you signed up to Bounty and Emma's diary apps/web sites? They are very good about informing you of the week/stage you are at. Plus, you get a few free packs with samples & vouchers. You can collect them from places like Argos, Boots or Tesco etc. Very handy.

  • I'm 14 weeks and had a meeting with my midwife at 7 weeks and have another scheduled for 16 weeks to take more blood, check baby's heartbeat etc. We have lost 2 babies previous to this pregnancy but my friend is also pregnant and has the same as us and she hasn't lost before. It may be how different midwives work. If you're unsure, you could always send her a message, I'm sure she would be happy to help :) x

  • Thanks Major2116 I hope everythigns going well.. & Congratulations! I haven't even heard the baby's heartbeat yet or been measured and i'm 23 weeks pregnant i have had 2 scans one at 12 weeks and i had another at 18.. Neither with Midwife so i haven't had any contact with her since 12 weeks when she did bloods ect but no follow up from her at all i know it could be a miss communication but the receptionist at GP told me she had not been trying to contact me or anything..x

  • Thank you! Everything is going well with us, We found out we're having a little boy! I paid early for a private scan for my fiance's birthday.

    I'm now 16 and a half weeks. I saw her at 7, I saw her again the other day at 16 and she's booked me to see her again at 23 weeks. She told me I need a growth chart on our 20 week scan because she'll start measuring me at 28 weeks. It is strange that she hadn't given you another appointment when she saw you the first time. Are you living in England? Because American's have a different way of doing it (I have gathered from another forum) xx

  • Congratulations! I have to pay to find out too in a few weeks as they couldn't see on the 18 week scan i had.. wow 7 weeks and they told you what you were expecting that would have been ideal for me as its been a nightmare trying to buy stuff haha! I had my first at 12 and they didnt know? or at the 18 wk.. the centre i'm going to for mine said it was best to wait until 24-27 weeks pregnant to get a good picture.. And yeah i live in England in Newcastle.. But i literally havent spoken to her since 11 weeks when i found out and made an appointment with her. The receptionist at my GP said she had not been trying to contact me either as that was what i thought, but im seeing her tomorrow but have no idea what the appointment will be for i just told the receptionist i thought it was just best to make one.. i know Flu jabs and stuff are common now but i'd rather do it off my own back than not see her untill the baby's due haha xx

  • Thank you! I'm 17 weeks on thursday. We found out the sex on Saturday just gone :). Newcastle-upon-Tyne? They couldn't tell the sex at 18 weeks?

    Did your midwife not make a future appointment when she saw you at 11 weeks? I have my flu jab at work with working in the NHS but its best to get one :)! Xx

  • Are you in England? You should have your booking appointment week 8-10, scan week 12-14, appointment at week 16, abnormalities scan week 20, then seen by midwife every 3-4 weeks until week 34 then every 2 weeks.

    You should be given a maternity book with information about your appointments and important phone numbers.

  • Thanks for your Reply Georgina_D .. I have an appointment booked in for this Wednesday i made the appointment myself the receptionist told me the midwife had not been trying to contact me so i have made an appointment but i have no idea what it's for i just asked to see her as i'm 23 weeks and last time I saw her i was 12.... I know Flu Jabs are needed this time of year for pregnant women so i will ask and make sure everything is being done correctly and i'm not just seeing a lack of her due to lost information/ lack of communication..

  • In general you need to see your GP to get flu jabs as the midwives don't stock them in my experience. Lots of pharmacies give them too. Lots also suggested to get th me whooping cough vaccine after 16 weeks and that's from GP too so I'd talk to your midwife abut that too

  • Hello everyone thank you all for your help.. Just an update i'm now 27 weeks and there was an issue the Midwife who i've never met (still) she missed an appointment with me at 16 weeks and at 20 so theres been an issue with her, I am still yet to be allocated a Midwife and i'm contemplating changing hospitals as important things have been missed and i did call the GP Surgery to make sure there was no miss communication going on and they assured me that she had not been trying to get intouch with me however she hadn't send me letters out for the 16 and 20 week appointments, i was supposed to attend to be measured ect and do the graph thing and be measured which now at 27 weeks doesn't really make sense as theres been 17 weeks missed inbetween.. feel really let down and the midwife who i saw just last week gave me a leaflet for antenatal classes which end 24th November and they were running this whole year and i've missed them all.. really kinda upset about it my whole expectations of how it would be like being pregnant and the care i would receive, iv'e really been disappointed to be 27 weeks and still not have a midwife and to have missed all these classes which i could have attended if i had been given it earlier... not sure what to do feel really down about it

  • God that’s awful. Maybe you should make a complaint to PALS at the hospital your under as that’s not on at all x

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