Help me please?

I'm having a lot of problems with this pregnancy that it is making my mood awful I'm down all the time cry everyday and I think I may be getting depressed. I suffered with depression 6 years ago. My question is ive spoke to a few people and they said that if I ask for some councilling the social services will get involved and I don't want that. I'm not a risk to my unborn baby as she is my miracle and I was told I would never have children I just don't know if this is true and what were your experiences with moods and depression in pregnancy? Xx

12 Replies

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  • My son is six months old, and my depression kicked in again after I had it calmed for a few years. I told my hv and gp, and have received nothing but support. They will NEVER take your baby unless you show real signs of not being able to cope and that it puts your baby in danger. They prefer helping before intervention.

    Do not be afraid. They would rather help you asap to get it under control :)

  • I had support from perinatal mental health team. They were very supportive and I'm now fine, my son is 11 weeks old now and I'm not even being heavily monitored. I've agreed to talk to someone if I want help. They will not take your children away for being sensible enough to seek help.

  • what absolute poppycock! social services will only intervene if you are deemed an unsuitable parent to a child, they wouldn't be called because you have admitted to struggling with depression.

    you need to speak with your GP and explain your feelings, they will do their best to help you.

    please do not be afraid to tell professionals how you feel and do not let people scare you with their nonsense!

  • hi sweetheart, i was suffering with depression it the first trimester of my pregnancy, i was crying all the time, i got to a point where for even a split of 5 seconds i was going to cut my wrist, thats how badly it affected me, but then i was constantly vomiting every 10 mins for 8 weeks and i lost so much weight to the point where i couldnt walk, i also have a 8 year old so for him to see me in that condition was even worse as i couldnt be the fun bubbly mum to him that i once was, that really got to me and i didnt want him to see me like that, but now i have another beautiful boy who is 10 weeks old and now when i look back i see how mad i became, how i could have such stupid thoughts i will never know, allij can say is get some advise from your doc, open up to someone you trust, or even if it helps ring 111, the non emergency services as they listen and reassure you that you will be fine, and i hope you are, please dont worry, i think you will get over it, its just a matter of time and if you can, distract yourself from it, go out, do activities, go for walks, it does work, take care xx

  • Don't worry about the social services aspect. There are always horrible stories and some ridiculous belief that social services exist only to ruin lives and take children away. However, the aim of social services is the complete opposite and they look to support those who need it and keep families together where possible. If they did get involved, it would be to make sure you are well supported and feel confident in life and motherhood. Seek the help you need and do not worry about all of that nonsense. And if you believe nothing else, believe this......they do not have the funding to take all these kids away and place them in care lol. It just isn't financially possible even if they wanted to haha! Having problems with depression does not automatically mean you are incapable of being a brilliant parent. Get the help and guidance you need and have confidence that there are people out there that can support you x

  • All of the above replies are all correct. Get some help. A lot of people suffer with depression and come through it. I had post natal depression with my first daughter who is 18 years now and looking back, it was very difficult. I had a terrible pregnancy like you I could not keep anything down for 6 months and when she turned up she was also a crying baby with very little social support I suffered. I did get help and thank God I got help from the Gp and all concerned and was on medication for a few months. Looking back it was all worthwhile and now she is a beautiful confident and most caring young lady. As a result of that I had an eleven year age gap where I thought My goodness I cant go through that again. However after 11 years a lot changed and now have a 7 year old, 3.5 year old, all girls and currently 18 weeks pregnant with another girl. Do not let anyone scare you about getting help, no one will interfere with your kids unless you are deemed as a danger to them. Depression affects a lot of people, for one reason or the other and it is the most common problem that we all experience at some point in life. Dont suffer in silence, please get some help. I wish you well and I am sure you are going to make the best mother. P.S I forgot to say that after the first one, the other pregnancies were all different and the symptoms were not as bad either just a bit of nausea in the first trimester, things do get better.

  • Hi, I work in preventative service with social care and if there are no risks to the baby or you then social care will not come involved. It is as much about you recognising you need help and along for it then just letting it build up and become worse. Get the help you need, you need to keep healthy too and there are lots of others who feel the same as you. Good luck x

  • I won't repeat what everyone else has said, just say they are all right. I have a history of anxiety, depression and I have MS. I worried about what that would mean in terms of how fit I would be seen to be as a parent but I also knew that being up front about everything was the best thing. As it is, I have had some very anxious periods (bleeding at weeks 12, 17 and 29), but I talked through the anxiety with the midwife and GP and nobody mentioned social services, perinatal mental health were also confident GP could handle me. I have had an FCAF assessment because although I am not experiencing symptoms of MS now, there is an increased risk of relapse after the birth so I may get help with day to day activities, but the anxiety was not relevant, and Social Services are not swooping in to take my baby when it arrives. In fact, I am so low priority I have been waiting for someone to do my first visit for over a month.

  • Here's our info on antenatal depression: nct.org.uk/pregnancy/antena...

  • Hiya, After my 3rd baby and all the problems I had during pregnancy and after she was born I suffered from depression. I was so worried about my doctor/health visitor informing social services. They wont, my health visitor advised that they would never do this unless they really thought a child was at risk. I had suicidal thoughts and my doctors referred me to the in house councillor who was useless so I paid private and found it really helped me through. You need to inform your midwife and maybe make an appointment with the doctor. Don't dwell on your own, you can get through this with help and support from professionals. Keep you chin up:-)

  • Hi Hun, we are starting our aquanatal classes next wed (15th October) at Jesmond pool. It's a gentle exercise class for pregnant ladies and also gives u the chance to meet other mums to be which could help a lot with your depression. Call or text me on 07745553574 if u require any further info or join us on facebook: Leema Leisure

  • Thank you all so much for your replies. I think I get so down as I also suffer from endometriosis and was told I would never have children. this is such an amazing time for me as I have been able to fall pregnant with my beautiful baby girl but also because of my illness I still suffer with extreme pain. As she is growing she is ripping all my scar tissue and the endo that I Have on my other organs. I think I get so down because before I was pregnant I could take my morphine and still lead a some what normal life with going to work and being out. Now ive had to give up work and walking around the super market leaves in agony to the point where ive been in hospital 12 times for pain management and help. I feel awful complaining about this because I truely am so happy I'm pregnant and I know there are hundreds of women I know who have never and will never have children because of endo but because of this I also feel alone and like I have no one to talk to who has been through this. I have the most amazing support from my boyfriend and my mum. Just some days it all gets abit on top of me. I hope you are all well. Sorry for the long post xxxx

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