If your with your partner and that person makes more money then you is it right. To say what goes in the relationship. Example I'm going to

To put a car under my name and she gonna make the payments and the insurance would you say no that you can't drive the car without the person? Is it ok to be with someone that's makes more money then you and does not see 50/50 but see 90/10 because they make more money the. You

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  • No.....in my opinion that is not a good way to behave in a relationship. My boyfriend works and as we moved, I had to leave my job so until my maternity allowance is up I can't work. He's the main earner but my money I receive is his and his money is mine. We share everything and always have. He makes payments on the car but when I start driving, I'll be insured on it and use it too...but the car will still be in his name and he will still make the payments but it'll be our car. We just balance out the responsibilities in our lives between us. Neither of us have the right to control the relationship and we discuss all major spending and decisions, regardless of who is putting the money down.

  • That's how I see things too but I feel that because she puts

    More money she have full rights and controlled of everything. She says it's not about the money I feel it is. Then she makes me feel like crap saying she been paying everything dinner going out and because she has a nice car I'm driving in it I should be more appreciative about and humble which I am in all ways I am humble for th things she does for me but i don't want it thrown in my face. Plus I give her my pay check that way she can handle all the bills she leaves me with $100 for 2 wks. I don't know if I'm not seeing the big picture here. I don't make enough money but I damn well help as best as possible to make the bills but I have never thrown that in her face. Then she says do not expect her to be 50/50 if she putting most of th money in front of us

  • My husband earns almost 3x what I do, we each pay into a joint account every month leaving ourselves a couple of hundred pounds each as our "own money" everything else goes into the joint which covers everything from the mortgage, bills, holidays, car and food shopping etc. Relationships in my opinion should be about equality and being on the same level despite who earns more.

  • I'm totally with you but it seems that it's not like that with this one. I'm trying to be the better person here to not argue about it but it does not make no sense about it

  • So my question here is that so should i put the car under my name and the insurance under my name because she does not want to put it under her name because for her reason of an incident happen to her. Because she paying it should i just let her figure it out

  • The problem is, is if it's in your name and she does not make the payments then it us you that will be in trouble. Plus even if the insurance is in your name your OH will still need to be a named driver on the policy and therefore will still need to declare if she has had an accident in the last 5 years. Yes the policy would be cheaper with you as the main driver, but in your position I'd be more concerned about her not making payments if you have an argument or separate for example!

  • I agree. I'd tell her to do it in her name in this instance

  • McDitto

  • That's pretty much how we do it too, although we do earn similar amounts and we are married. O ce you have a LO then it is essential to do that. Are you going to stay at home to look after bubs or is she? Maybe she is worried about how you are going to cope on just your salary whilst she is on maternity leave.

  • I'm with FB here, you need to be on the same sheet here and talk things through, as otherwise they will just escalate. You each bring different things to the relationship, but you should be equal within the relationship. We only have one car, always been in his name, but we work out our schedules as to who gets it and when.

  • No, and if that's how it is, you need to talk! These things can get tricky - seems a lot easier when things are the traditional way round - man earning more. I can imagine there are a lot of egos and awkwardness if the other way round.

    If you have children, then you are a team! My OH earns twice what I do (so three times more while on mat leave) and I find it difficult to ask him for things as this is the first time since in 23 years (since my paper round and commis waitress job at 14!) I've had to be more reliant on someone else. Mortgage and bills are paid 50:50 (and it's important to me that I pay my share, although that is almost all of my mat pay) but that's my problem, not his. I get the weekly shop once a month and he gets in 3 times (again - getting it in once is at my insistence, can't afford anymore).

    If I need anything for Sam, my OH gets it - not prepared to let my principles affect him (although I did pay for Water Babies with my credit card as thought this was a bit frivolous!)

    If there's enough pettiness for her to try to stop you driving, what's stopping her making the payments and leaving you with a CCJ against you? Be careful'

    Oh! Gotta run - he's stirring, and not fed since 11 as had a mammoth, unexpected nap!!

  • I don't think is right as I am in a similar situation and everything works out well.

    My husband earns more than I do as I am in full time education. The he bought the car but in my name, insurance is in his name and he or I drive the car whenever without the other party there.

    I am not sure where the argument that you both have to be in the car is coming from. I think you need to sit your partner down and hear what her fears are and also table your own concerns.

    Good luck

  • im with the rest of the comments here. Everything is equal in a relationship as u are a team. Regardless of who earns more, it should be working towards a greater goal...your family.

    My partner dwarfs my wage by a really significant amount but all assets are shared. We have a bills account and our own separate account each. Once my wages come in, I transfer about 3/4 of it to the bills account and my partner matches it to pay whatever bills we have. The remainder of my wages are used for leisure activities whilst his wages are used for groceries and fuel. This works for us as its never about who earns more, its about the effort u make. If you are doing the best u can then no more can be expected off u.

    Sit down and talk with ur partner. explain ur concerns and ask her about her feelings on the way ur relationship is going. Honesty is the only way forward x

  • You definitely need to talk this through. I've gone from earning a very substantial salary to maternity pay and we are lucky my partner has a good salary too but when we were discussing plans for our baby I made it clear to him that I still see paying our bills and monthly outgoings as both our responsibility. Yes when my pay decreases again in a couple if months I won't be putting as much in the pot but I will help him in other ways such as cutting down on food waste or supporting him if he has to spend more time on the business. It might sound a bit lane but I don't want him to feel the pressure of being a sole provider. You have both chosen to have this baby do need to provide for it the best you can and it is natural you will both adopt different roles in doing so. But both equally as important. I'd really try and get your partner to see that. The baby will bring enough pressure without you ready feeling pur down. And in the meantime make sure that you don't leave yourself open to any misgivings until you've talked it all through. Hope you work it through. Xx

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