Feeling so down!!!

Hi ladies!!! I haven't been here for a while and now I'm here to have a moan... I'm sorry about that... I just can't keep it all in no more!!!

I have been so stressed so sad these past couple of weeks. I feel really really lost with all my problems!!!

Tuesday my partner has his first follow up appointment since he had his kidney operation (due to cancer)... so I'm a bit anxious about that. Hope its all clear!!!!

Following week Friday I have my 20 week scan... so can't wait for that either!!! I just want to see that the baby is doing well and also find out if its a little boy or little girl.

I'm a bit paranoid as not sure if I'm meant to be showing more bump or not. At the same time I just weight myself and I'm 66kg!!! When I first got weight in hospital I was 60.2kg back in august. Which means I've already put on 6kg!!! I'm about 19 weeks only.

is it normal ladies??

Apart from that I have got so much on my shoulders!!! My life has been so hard the past 3-4 years... I really felt like my baby would be the change of luck that I need!!! But right now I'm feeling so so sad!!! We are under so much pressure financially!!! Big time... I cant even begin to explain ladies...its too complicated...but I just feel sad that doesnt matter how much I fight, how much I work... I still end up struggling every week...not buying a single thing for myself... just about putting food on the table!!

Sorry ladies about the open heart here...

hope u're all doing well

God bless us all x

17 Replies

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  • Oh bless horrible when u feel u have the weight on ur shoulders. ...I hope u get the all clear with ur oh results that would be a big worry out the way. ..and 6kg is great at ur stage they say the average is 2 stone for the whole of ur pregnancy and ur half way there so sounds perfect to me. .. money is crap when u haven't got enough of it and the pressure is emmense..u will be entitled to tax credits when little one comes along but obviously that's a while away...I wish u all the best and hope things improve for u x

  • Thank you so much for your kind words Babymother.

    I hope all is going well with u too.

    What stage are u at?

    Xxx

  • I'm being induced next Mon, am very apprehensive about it...am impatient and when I have some signs labour is near I get really scared! I can't win with myself! X

  • Oh sweetheart... I so understand you!! Its like me I am over the moon that Im going to be a mum! Somehow I almost thought it would never happen as me as these problems that Im stressing out now Ive been stressing out about for the past 3-4 years. It has just been one fight after another & I can not keep my head up anymore!!!

    Its sad because such a blessing gets covered up with all the negativity of the other problems!!!

    In regards to ur induction sweetheart and you feeling scared as soon as you know labour is happening... im exactly the same!!! I always said to myself: if I ever have the blessing of falling pregnant I must go through my pregnancy without thinking about labour and just deal with it when the actual time comes. Thats what I am trying to do right now. But wat I didnt realise is all the risks and problems that can occur throughout the pregnancy! And I think as first time mums we will always worry about everything!!!

    But hun... look at the bright side: soon you will be holding your baby!!! Do you know if its a girl or a boy?

    How overdue are you?

    Xx

  • Hi hun I know its hard money wise atm for most people but with a baby on the way it must be even worse. Have you checked you are claiming all you can benefit wise?

    Am praying all is well for tues hun xx I know its easy for mw to say but be positive and if you are feeling very down talk to midwife or fam/friends or us lol xxxx

  • Thank you 2princes1princess!!!

    I hope it all does good news on Tuesday and next Friday!!! X

  • Sorry to hear :( hope all goes well on Tuesday for you both. The 20 week scan is fantastic :) are you hoping for anything? We wouldn't of minded either way but we were hoping for a boy.. And it was a boy! :) don't worry about showing, I didn't have a bump until I hit 7 months! I'm now 8 months and you can obviously tell it's a bump now, before people were saying I just looked like I had ate a lot of pies!!

    I know how hard it is financially especially if unplanned(ours was but couldn't of been happier!) It does get easier as the weeks go on, I found round the 20 week stage I was quite down but by the time I had hit 28 weeks it gets easier!

    Hope both Tuesday and Friday go well for you and you are feeling better soon :) pregnancy is really hard going, think people forget to tell you that!! But it will all be worth it in the end, at least that's what I keep telling myself ;) xx

  • Sounds like u r having a tough time and throw ur hormones into the mix must b very tough. I hope ur other halfs results r ok and I kno u will b nervous bout fri but try to look forward to it...I think however much money u hav u just manage u hav too but tht baby will b loved no matter what and thts all tht matters. Hopefully by the end of the week u will feel more positive when u see ur little one at ur scan and ur oh has a positive result. Xx

  • Hi ceribean... yes u're right. Im going through a tough time...unfortunately it has just been dragging on for 3-4 years now... one thing after another!

    But yes I am looking forward for my scan... :) to make sure that baby is doing well and also find out if its a boy or girl....

    how are you doing with ur pregnancy?

    X

  • Sorry to hear tht...is there anyway u cud speak to someone who can maybe help u financially and if u need any other help...theres no harm in admitting u need help. I have and at first u feel like u will b judged but after u will feel a sense of relief. Ahh thts cool it is a lovely experience. . I am no longer pregnant. .my son was born 5 weeks ago so am now enjoying being a mummy. Xx

  • Hi there. Try not to be too hard on yourself. There are a lot of things in life that are beyond our control but it's in our nature to want to manage them. Your partners illness is one of those things and my thoughts are with you, fingers crossed you'll get the result that you need during your baby scan too

    Finances will always be stressful, but try not to worry there are a number of places where you can get advice if you need (CAB, Money advice service). And with a new baby on the way it can be really daunting when you start to think about all that you need to provide for your baby. The good news is that you can source lots of baby kit preloved and save shed loads of money along the way, NCT sales and Gumtree are very good places to start.

    Definately don't panic about your weight at this stage, 6kg is a modest gain by most standards, if you eat healthily and stay active then you have very little to worry about and it will come off afterward. But do actively try to manage your stress levels ( much easier said than done I know!) and keep typing, we're all here supporting each other. Remember that when we go through hard times we also discover how strong we really are. Good luck and take care, I hope this helps :)

  • Thank you mamacool.

    I know Im probably just stressing out a little more than I should... and I hate it that Im stressing as I dont want to "hurt" my baby. I want to be a happy person. A happy mum. But unfortunately I have been stressing for the past 3-4 years. It has just been one thing after another. And its just escalating a little too much now... so Im finding harder & harder to cope.

    But Im thankful about my baby.

    As you said, hopefully I will heard all good news on my scan. I really dont mind if its a boy or a girl. Althought my first instinct has always been a boy and somehow I would prefer a boy. But if its a girl its fine too. :) Healthy is all I really ask God!!!

    And hopefully tomorrow it will be the all clear!!!

    X

  • Ohhh ceribean... so u're enjoying being a mum!!! It must be amazing!!!

    How was ur pregnancy? Xxx

  • Yeh its great..non stop and time is going so fast. My pregnancy was ok..was sick all the way through every morning and the end I was barely eating as cudnt keep it down but I didnt actually feel ill just had to b ill if u get me. Hows ur pregnancy been..hav u been well? X

  • I have been feeling fine so far Hun. All absolutely normal. Maybe just at first a little dizzy, a little more tired...just something not feeling myself (that's how I decided to take a pregnancy test!). But overall OK. Haven't been sick. Haven't been having cravings. I have to say this past week or so been feeling more hungry.

    Overall no worries so far in that respect...

    I do have blood type A Negative. Which means I need to have a couple of Injections to protect me just in case the baby blood mixes with mine at any point.

    My Down Syndrome result came back as Low. 1:1800. Which I was concerned about to be honest. After hearing cases of friends that had results like 1:7000, 1:2600, 1:14000... But then again it seems that my result is very good, so I have not thought about it. I have faith that all will be well and my little angel with be perfect.

    I am terrified of labour. I have chosen not to think about it just yet. But I know as it gets closer to the D Day, I will be absolutely s****ing myself!! I really hope I became strong and brave within the next months, because I feel that if we go too scared, afraid of the pain, it makes it worse. So I really wish I can be "relaxed" about it and learn to deal with it all...

    x

  • I hav a negative blood group too. I am b rhesus negative so had to hav the injections. I didnt really kno what to think about the labour as I just think I cnt b scared of something tht I haven't experienced and now I hav experienced it I will do it again just not right now lol. Just tell urself tht little person has to come out and us women hav strong bodies so ur body will just take over...might not b plesant at times. .apart frm tearing my labour was pretty straight forward and quick. And if the downs result was a concern I am sure someone wud of spoke to u about it...try not to compare ur pregnancy to anyones as everyones different. Xx

  • yeah, you are right actually ceribean!

    We shouldn't be afraid of something that we have not yet experienced. I'm sure its painful and not easy...but we should all be capable of going through it!

    Oh so you are b negative. So you got an injection at 28 weeks then again after the baby was born? Where was the injection? Does it hurt? (im sorry... its silly I know! But I was even scared of taking blood! First time I ever did it was on my first pregnancy appointment. Now I know its not that bad.) You about your baby? positive or negative?

    x

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